Big Cockney guy tells it like it is....(a bit longish)

[Marmalady]

Another post on here just reminded me of this....

I was browsing around my local town on a day off and stopped to look in the window of an electrical retailer. As I was standing there I became aware of a conversation (well, monologue actually) going on nearby. A middle-aged woman was going on and on to an older man (her father, possibly?) while staring into the interior of the shop.

MAW: What's he doing in there? What's he taking so long for? I bet he's gone and got him one. I bet he's gone and got him one, and after I said as well. You heard me say, didn't you? Didn't I say? And now he's gone and got him one. What's the point of me saying if he's then going to just go and get him one.....

And on, and on, in every possible combination of those phrases while the old man just stood there (well, he couldn't have got a word in anyway). I was shamelessly earwigging by then of course.

Then out of the shop came a little boy, about 7 or 8, clutching a bag, accompanied by the most vast man I have ever seen. Shirt open nearly to his waist, gold chain, fingers plentifully adorned with nicotine. The moment he appeared the woman started to let fly at him.

MAW: I knew it! I knew it! You've gone and got him one haven't you? Haven't you? I said didn't I? Didn't I say? And now you've gone and got him one!

Excuses? Prevarications? Not likely - the man turned and cut her off in mid flow by extending his arm, making a squawking movement with his fingers and saying loudly, 'SHUUUUTTTT UPP!!!!'

And I ran around the corner to nearly bust my sides laughing.....

[Pagan]

I wasn't even there and I was thinking, "My god, woman, shut it!"

And now I'm wonder what he got the kid, too.

[Shalom]

MAW: What's he doing in there? What's he taking so long for? I bet he's gone and got him one. I bet he's gone and got him one, and after I said as well. You heard me say, didn't you? Didn't I say? And now he's gone and got him one. What's the point of me saying if he's then going to just go and get him one.....

MAW: I knew it! I knew it! You've gone and got him one haven't you? Haven't you? I said didn't I? Didn't I say? And now you've gone and got him one!

"I told 'em, I told 'em. Millennium hand and shrimp. I said, I said, I said. Oh, no. But they only run out, I told 'em. Sod 'em. Doorstops. I said, I said, I said. Wassa name of age, I told 'em, not my fault, matterofact, matterofact, stands to reason. Millennium hand and shrimp. Buggrit."

Am I the only one who thought of this? Please tell me I'm not the only one...

[dalesys]

And Foul Ol Ron pops up! Where's Gaspode?

[Marmalady]

And Foul Ol Ron pops up! Where's Gaspode?

Don't forget the Duck Man, too!

[gaspode]

I'm here lol

[dalesys]

Don't forget the Duck Man, too!

Did you see my avatar?

[Hyena Dandy]

Wow. We've got Gaspode AND The Duck Man here

[Marmalady]

I'm here lol

Sam Vimes - now there's a man who REALLY knows what's going on.

[the lawsmeister]

Don't forget the Duck Man, too!

What duck?

[Marmalady]

What duck?

It always used to just sit on his head, didn't it?

Dear TP - I met him at a book signing in Norwich some years ago. Lovely man.

[Magpie]

It always used to just sit on his head, didn't it?

Not according to duck man it didn't.

[Marmalady]

I absolutely love the Discworld books - don't think me morbid, but I have a special affection for the character of Death. I thought that 'Reaper Man' was marvellous, especially the bit where he visits Azrael and asks him for a little extra time for the old lady who had helped him by giving him some of hers when he needed it.
'What can the harvest hope for, if not the care of the Reaper Man?'

[Magpie]

I don't think it's very morbid to like Pratchet's Death. He's a very alive character.

[Shalom]

I don't think it's very morbid to like Pratchet's Death. He's a very alive character.

He's also a cat person.

I eventually figured out why, after reading T.A.M.A.H.E.R.:

He sees them nine times each...