Only two people involved here, myself and the kid calling my cell. And, to be honest, I was pretty mean to him. But he made me angry, so there you go.
So, our cast is Me and some teenage Kid. His name is revealed later, and since its only a partial, the name is unchanged. Also, it really needs to stay because the name is so...perfectly fitting. Thoughts are in italics.
Round 1
My cell phone rings, I don't recognize the number so I hit ignore and let it go to voicemail.
Round 2
About 10 seconds later, my phone rings again, showing the same number. On the very off chance that it might be a coworker (since I don't have all their cell numbers memorized) I answer.
Me: Hello?
Kid: Hey.
Me: Can I help you?
Kid: Who the f--- is this?
Me: -.- You called me, so let's start with who the f--- are you? If I like your answer we'll keep playing.
Kid: Uh...uh...wrong number...sorry! <click>
That should be the end of it. But then I wouldn't be posting here.
Round 3
10 seconds later, same damned number.
Me: Hello. Still the wrong number.
Kid: Hey, who the f--- is this?
Me: Look, kid, you just called my phone 3 times in a row. Do yourself a favor, hang up, and go look up the number you actually want to call.
Kid: F--- you, b----! <click>
Me: *add his number to my 'Reject' list* Should've done that in the first place.
Round 4
About 5 minutes have gone by. My phone rings and...wait, different number, but still one I don't recognize. I think I know who it is, but I answer.
Me: Hello?
Kid: Hey. Why are you answering this phone? Who the f--- is this?
Me: You. Again. STILL the wrong number. I don't care if you use a different phone, you've got the WRONG NUMBER. I told you to do yourself a favor, it appears you didn't listen. Get it straight, dumb a---. Wrong. Number. Redial won't help. Dialing over and over won't help.
Kid: F--- you, moron! <click>
Me: *I hope he's looking into the mirror when he says that.*
Rounds 5 - 8
He keeps calling from the second number, I keep hitting ignore, he keeps dialing right back. So, onto the reject list that phone number goes.
Round 9
A few minutes later, phone rings, showing a third unknown number. I already know its the same idiot. I just have no idea how he thinks a third phone will make this the right number. But, again, on the off chance I'm wrong, I answer.
Me: Hello?
Kid: You again! Who the f--- is this? Just put Mary on and stop answering her phone!
Me: *Oh ho! Should have known. What else makes a teen age boy insane but hormones? Time to screw with his empty little mind. * Look, kid, ain't nobody talking to you until you tell me who the f--- you are. And Mary's busy right now.
Kid: Look, just put Mary on the phone. It's Woody!
Me: *snerk* Woody? Oh, right, Woody! Hey, Mary, you want to talk to Woody? *pause* Nope, she's busy. Can't talk right now.
Kid aka Woody: Look, f--- face, put my girl on the line, I gots bizness, yo.
**** Warning! Raunchy evilness after the break below, stop reading here if you're easily offended! *****
Also, even over the phone I can tell this kid was WAY too white to be talking like that.
Me: Look, Woody, let's cut to the chase. Right now Mary's gagging on my c--- while my balls bounce off her chin and she really wants to keep going. So stop calling and let her do her thing. She'll call you back when I'm finished.
Kid: WHAT?!? WHAT???? NO! F---- YOU! I'LL F---ING KILL YOU AND THAT S-----SKANK! F---! F---! *cue sniffling and crying* F---!
Me: Do I have your attention now, Woody? Want to know who I am?
Kid: F--- YOU! *sniffling snorting* F---! YEAH, TELL ME WHO YOU ARE B----! I'LL CUT YOU!
Me: I'm the same guy you called the first damned time, about 10 minutes ago. Like I told you then, you dumb f---, you have THE WRONG NUMBER! This is MY number and not the number of this Mary chick you're trying to reach. No matter how many times you hit redial or how many different phones you use the number you are dialing is still WRONG. Now stop being a complete dumba-- and go look up Mary's ACTUAL number. Though if I was her, I wouldn't waste my time on a stupid s--- like you.
Kid: *screaming* F---! F---! F-<click>
And that must have been a KO because Woody never returned for another round.
So, our cast is Me and some teenage Kid. His name is revealed later, and since its only a partial, the name is unchanged. Also, it really needs to stay because the name is so...perfectly fitting. Thoughts are in italics.
Round 1
My cell phone rings, I don't recognize the number so I hit ignore and let it go to voicemail.
Round 2
About 10 seconds later, my phone rings again, showing the same number. On the very off chance that it might be a coworker (since I don't have all their cell numbers memorized) I answer.
Me: Hello?
Kid: Hey.
Me: Can I help you?
Kid: Who the f--- is this?
Me: -.- You called me, so let's start with who the f--- are you? If I like your answer we'll keep playing.
Kid: Uh...uh...wrong number...sorry! <click>
That should be the end of it. But then I wouldn't be posting here.
Round 3
10 seconds later, same damned number.
Me: Hello. Still the wrong number.
Kid: Hey, who the f--- is this?
Me: Look, kid, you just called my phone 3 times in a row. Do yourself a favor, hang up, and go look up the number you actually want to call.
Kid: F--- you, b----! <click>
Me: *add his number to my 'Reject' list* Should've done that in the first place.
Round 4
About 5 minutes have gone by. My phone rings and...wait, different number, but still one I don't recognize. I think I know who it is, but I answer.
Me: Hello?
Kid: Hey. Why are you answering this phone? Who the f--- is this?
Me: You. Again. STILL the wrong number. I don't care if you use a different phone, you've got the WRONG NUMBER. I told you to do yourself a favor, it appears you didn't listen. Get it straight, dumb a---. Wrong. Number. Redial won't help. Dialing over and over won't help.
Kid: F--- you, moron! <click>
Me: *I hope he's looking into the mirror when he says that.*
Rounds 5 - 8
He keeps calling from the second number, I keep hitting ignore, he keeps dialing right back. So, onto the reject list that phone number goes.
Round 9
A few minutes later, phone rings, showing a third unknown number. I already know its the same idiot. I just have no idea how he thinks a third phone will make this the right number. But, again, on the off chance I'm wrong, I answer.
Me: Hello?
Kid: You again! Who the f--- is this? Just put Mary on and stop answering her phone!
Me: *Oh ho! Should have known. What else makes a teen age boy insane but hormones? Time to screw with his empty little mind. * Look, kid, ain't nobody talking to you until you tell me who the f--- you are. And Mary's busy right now.
Kid: Look, just put Mary on the phone. It's Woody!
Me: *snerk* Woody? Oh, right, Woody! Hey, Mary, you want to talk to Woody? *pause* Nope, she's busy. Can't talk right now.
Kid aka Woody: Look, f--- face, put my girl on the line, I gots bizness, yo.
**** Warning! Raunchy evilness after the break below, stop reading here if you're easily offended! *****
Also, even over the phone I can tell this kid was WAY too white to be talking like that.
Me: Look, Woody, let's cut to the chase. Right now Mary's gagging on my c--- while my balls bounce off her chin and she really wants to keep going. So stop calling and let her do her thing. She'll call you back when I'm finished.
Kid: WHAT?!? WHAT???? NO! F---- YOU! I'LL F---ING KILL YOU AND THAT S-----SKANK! F---! F---! *cue sniffling and crying* F---!
Me: Do I have your attention now, Woody? Want to know who I am?
Kid: F--- YOU! *sniffling snorting* F---! YEAH, TELL ME WHO YOU ARE B----! I'LL CUT YOU!
Me: I'm the same guy you called the first damned time, about 10 minutes ago. Like I told you then, you dumb f---, you have THE WRONG NUMBER! This is MY number and not the number of this Mary chick you're trying to reach. No matter how many times you hit redial or how many different phones you use the number you are dialing is still WRONG. Now stop being a complete dumba-- and go look up Mary's ACTUAL number. Though if I was her, I wouldn't waste my time on a stupid s--- like you.
Kid: *screaming* F---! F---! F-<click>
And that must have been a KO because Woody never returned for another round.
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