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I suppose I should’ve seen that this would end badly, given my luck. Actually, I probably got off easy, really… Scary thought, isn’t it?
Ok, so where to start? I got up early today, because this is my only day off this week, so I had a lot of errands to run. I went to the grocery store bright and early, in hopes of, you know, AVOIDING the idiots.
Wishful thinking, I know.
On the bus to the store
I’m sitting down, notepad in hand, headphones on, and going over my list, rewriting it so it’s organized by section of store, makes it easier for me. (Yes, I’m a bit OCD, your point??) This older woman sits next to me, and starts staring at my list. I don’t even make eye contact, because it’s early morning, I’m tired and wishing I was still asleep but just wanted to get the shopping done and over with. Cue tapping on my shoulder. Oi vey, here we go. I take one of my earphones out and look at her, hoping beyond hope she just has a quick question about the bus route or something.
Her: You shouldn’t be buying wine.
Me: o.0 <looks at my list> Huh? <I had written red wine with a question mark by it. I had been planning on making a fresh batch of marinara sauce and was out of wine to cook with.> I don’t really thing that’s any of your business.
Her: Drinking isn’t a good idea for anyone.
Me: <stares>
Her: Sweetheart, do you have Jesus in your life?
Me: >.<
Her: Here, I have some literature you might find interesting <She starts rummaging through her bag>
Me: No thank you, I’m not interested. <I put my earphones back in and turn the volume up>
She didn’t push it any further, but she did glare at me the rest of the way until I got to my stop. In hindsight, I really should have seen that as a sign of things to come and just gone back home, but no, I pressed onward and hit the grocery store.
But why are the buns gone?
I was in my local Kroger, and headed towards the cheese section when I hear a screeching harpy throwing a hissy fit because they didn’t have any cinnamon buns in their donut case. Seriously. Pissed off because of no cinnamon buns. I didn’t need anything from the bakery, so I veered off and took the long way around, lest my internal magnet somehow dragged me into the sucktitude.
Reading is fundamental! How many times do I have to say this!?!
Kroger is advertising one of their super savings events in their adds this week. Select any 8 participating items, and get $4.00 taken off at the registers, with your Kroger card. Now, the way the tags are laid out, they’ve got a sale price of say, $1.99 and right next to it another tag that says “participating item!” listing the price of $1.49 (the price after the $4 is taken off of the 8 participating items.)
We all know where this is heading, right?? I’m at the pharmacy aisle because I needed some multivitamins, and I was asking a pharmacist about iron supplements in the slim hopes that maybe, MAYBE they’ll know of one I can take to help with my anemia that won’t make me sick. As the nice pharmacist is talking to me before the pharmacy is even open mind you (I got to the store a little after 8, pharmacy opens at 9), I hear the telltale wailing of that dangerous beast: the EW. Apparently one was at the checkout right next to the pharmacy section. What fun.
EW:WHHHHHAAAAAAAAT?!?!? That’s supposed to be $1.49!! Why are you charging me more!?! This is false advertising!!
Cashier: Um. That promotion is only good on the savings event. And if you have our card, AND buy 8 participating items. This is the only one you bought.
EW: The price tag says $1.49! I demand it for that price!
C: Ma’am, if I can just show you the ad—
EW: Where is your manager!? This is RIDICULOUS!
C: But, ma’am.
EW: <Throws her hand in the cashier’s face to shush her> This. Is. RIDICULOUS.
The pharmacist is gaping at the scene. I sigh. Maybe if I shuffle off with my head down, I won’t be noticed and then—
Crap, too late.
EW: <Turns her head and spots the pharmacist and me. She waves her arm frantically> EXCUSE ME!! Are you someone in charge? Can you PLEASE tell your employee that he is REQUIRED to honor the ad price??
Pharmacist: Er…
Me: <muttering> Sweet tequila christ on a pogo stick, can no one read? Ever?
P: <Snorts, and does go over, explaining repeatedly to the EW how the sale works. >
EW ended up leaving unhappy, of course, and screaming the usual threats to report/never shop there again/steal the firstborn child. Y’all know how it goes. I get my vitamins, and by this time, it’s 9, so I head to the pharmacy counter to restock on Sudafed. Thank you weather fronts changing air pressure. Sinus headaches are so much fun. This of course leads me to:
I saw the word FREE. Everything MUST then be FREE!
Another sale Kroger is having, (which I cheerfully took advantage of), is a certain brand of vitamins is buy one, get one of the same item free. (The wording is important kids, take note. There WILL be a quiz later.)
I’m waiting in line behind this guy who was sitting in the pharmacy chair waiting for the clock to hit 9. As soon as the pharmacist started opening the gate, he bolted for the counter with a hand basket, glaring at me, as if daring me to try and go ahead. Whatever, Sunshine. I’m not in a hurry.
Genius here decided he was going to take advantage of the vitamin sale, too. Only problem is, he grabbed 12 different bottles or so, none of which were duplicates. He then demanded that he be charged for the $5-6 bottles, and get the $10-12 bottles free. As in, he would do the following.
SC: <place a small bottle of vitamin C caplets on the counter> So, I pay for these, and get THESE free. <Places a large bottle of multivitamins on the counter>
Pharmacy employee: Uh, sir, it doesn’t work like that…
SC: Your ad says buy one get one free!
Me: <Oh FFS, here we go again! I don’t even wait for the argument to start. I’m already irritated from earlier> The ad says buy one get one of SAME ITEM free.
SC: <Turns to me> What?
Me: <Holds up my copy of the ad paper, pointing to each word as I read it> Buy. One. Get. One. Of. SAME. ITEM. Free.
SC: But they’re all vitamins!
Me: >.< Ow…the stupid hurt my brain.
PE: Sir, I’m sorry, but she’s correct, the ad clearly states the sale is on same items only.
SC: I want your manager.
PE: Yes, sir, I can do that, if you’ll just step aside, I’ll page one and they’ll be here shortly.
He does page, and waves me forward. I ask for the Sudafed and put my vitamins on the counter. The transaction goes smoothly. $20 worth of vitamins, a 6 month supply for $10. Happy dance!
SC: Hey, you gave HER the sale! Why not me!?
Me: Are you really asking that? REALLY!?!?
SC: This is discrimination!! It’s sexual discrimination! He gave YOU the sale because of your tits!
(Note: It was fucking HOT outside. I was in a spaghetti strapped tank and skirt. Yes cleavage was showing, but really. Seriously??)
Me:
PE:
Me: <Pulls my vitamin bottles out of my bag> Ok, looks like we need visual aids here. These two bottles? EXACTLY the same. Same type, same name, same quantity, same price. YOUR 700 bottles? None of them match. At all. THAT’S why I got the sale because I read the damn ad!
SC: <leers at me> that and because you’ve got big tits!
Me: Better big tits than a small—
Yeah the pharmacist wandered over at this point and got between us, asking what the problem was. After hearing the SC rant, he was essentially chased out. I felt bad for the way I reacted and apologized, but the employee was too busy laughing and the pharmacist was kind of grinning, too. The pharmacist told me I should shop in his pharmacy more often. It’s entertaining
Joy.
interlude! Amusement at Starbucks
I go to the in store starbucks and two of the baristas I know are there. We strike up conversation while they mix up the drinks of the people in front of me. One of them was adding whipped cream to a frappuccino when the pressure nozzle broke. Whipped cream EVERYWHERE. He apologized, and offered to get a new cup, rather than wipe the current one down, because he didn’t want to give the guy a sticky cup.
The guy told him it was ok with a wipedown and then said “and it’s all right, I know how to clean sticky substances up, I do it all the time. I actually don’t mind it if it gets on my hands.”
Silence.
I snorted. I tried not to laugh, really, really I did. Poor guy realized what he said and turned so red. The baristas were trying really hard not to laugh, too. But I’m over there giggling because my brain is that warped, and the guy just finally sighs and comments that maybe he should’ve gotten a couple more shots of espresso because obviously he hadn’t had enough caffeine yet that morning to thing about what he said.
Aaaand moving on
Pwned! Or “Well, if you REALLY want it at that price”
I finally make it to the checkout. I got another of the personal mini watermelons. I love watermelon. I finished ringing out, no problem, and pushed my cart up to the side to arrange my bags and put my wallet away, so I get to hear the idiot behind me. He, too, had gotten one of the watermelons. After it scanned he started loudly declaring that the price was WRONG, and it needed to be fixed right away!! See, the display is under a big ol’ sign that says 2 for $5. He keeps haranguing the poor cashier that the price must be fixed. IMMEDIATELY. Then he turns to me. (Fuck, fuck fuck, I didn’t run fast enough!!)
SC: I mean, did your price ring up at the 2 for $5 deal?
Me: <Checks my receipt and barely, BARELY resist banging my head on the counter> Erm, well, no sir, it didn’t.
SC: SEE?!?! Stay put, we’ll get this straightened out.
Me: Um, no, sir, that’s ok. Really. I’m fine.
SC: So you WANT to be cheated? Fine! I’M not going to stand for it! The price says 2for $5, and I, by GOD am going to get it at 2 for $5! <To the cashier> Get someone over here NOW to fix this!
C: <Pages a manager. I try to slink away>
SC: Why are you so willing to let them charge you the wrong price!?!?
Me: Well, the sign said 2 for $5--
SC: Exactly!
Me: …but it rang up at $2.
SC: But the price is 2 for $5!
Me: Yes, sir. Meaning it’s CHEAPER!
SC:
Huh?
Me: Well, 5 divided by 2 is 2.50. Technically I got my melon at the sale price of 2 for $4. But, you know, if YOU want to pay the price on the sign, go for it.
SC: <Splutters, glares at me.>
Me:
Have a great day! <waves to the cashier.> Thanks for all your help! <Rings the bell on my way out>
Ugh. People!!
Fast forward. After going grocery shopping, coming home and eating some cookie dough ice cream to refortify myself, I went out again. You see, friends, I was in an unfortunate position of having to go shopping for pants. <WINCE>. I hate clothing shopping. With a passion. Especially for pants. Second only to bra shopping. But I need a pair or two, so I braced myself and caught a bus up to the nearest mall/shopping center nearby.
Once again on the bus
I’m on the phone with my sister on the way to the shopping center. This guy sits next to me, and proceeds to try and sprawl into my space. Once seat was not enough for him. He kept trying to shove me closer and closer to the wall, so he could have more space, to the point that his leg was pretty much laying on top of mine. I finally glared at him and said to my sister in a loud voice
“Hey, sweetie, do me a favor. Find the number for the local police department, will you. There’s this guy next to me and he keeps getting closer and closer, and his leg is on mine. That technically counts as harassment, right? I can file charges, right?”
That gets the attention of other people who are now watching him. He retracted himself rather quickly. When I pulled the cord for my stop, I stood up and said excuse me, he turned about a half inch to the side, and motioned me to go through. Um, no. Get off your ass. I have a large bag and I’m not a small girl, I cannot fit through the half inch of space you oh so graciously provided for me to leave. I told him excuse me again and he waves a hand at me. I sigh, and once again in a loud voice.
“I’m sorry, sir, but I am neither small enough, nor flexible enough to fit into the small iota of space you’ve generously created for me to exit through. If you could please stand up and let me off the bus, I’m sure the rest of these people would like to continue the trip to where they’re going!”
I hate people…
The quest for pants
I went to seven stores. SEVEN. And ended up with 2 pairs of pants. Insert generic mayhem here, dealing with people who let their kids run free, try to haggle on clearance prices, etc. I tuned it all out until I got to Palais Royale.
Now in the fitting rooms at this store, there is a call button on the wall with a sign that says push for assistance and an associate will help you find a different size/color, etc. I’m trying on a pair of capris, and I like the style, but they’re slightly loose, so I don’t know if one size smaller will work better. At this point, I’ve been pant shopping for 3 hours, I’m tired, cranky and really don’t want to face the hoards ofslathering beasts other customers, so I decide to use the call button. Employee answers.
Me: Hi. I was trying on this style, and I like them. Thing is there a size 20, but I was actually needing—
Her: A bigger size? 22 or 24?
Me:
Her: <Rolls her eyes> 22 or 24?
Me: Neither, I was going to ask for the 18, actually.
Her: <It’s really hard to describe the look on her face here, but oooh, she very clearly thought I was deluding myself into thinking I was smaller than I am.> fine. 18. Anything else?
Me: You know what else you can bring me? Your supervisor. Now.
Her: <glares> why? I’m bringing you the size 18 you’re asking for.
Me: Bring them here, or I go find them. And I’ll be even LESS happy than I am now.
She disappeared and I never saw her again. I went out, found the 18s. (Alas, not quite small enough for them! I settled for the 20s. boo.) I then pulled another couple of styles off to try on and went into the fitting room. Yeah, tried on a pair and found a surprise in the pocket. A snickers bar! That someone had eaten, then spit all the peanuts back out, and stuffed them into the pockets!! EEEEWWW
I hit the call button again. Guess who showed up!?
Her: Oh. What can I get you this time.
Me: Still waiting on your boss. But until then, here, someone messed these up!
Her: <looks at the snickers wrapper, then back at me>
Me: If you any sense whatsoever, you will NOT say what you’re so clearly thinking.
I grabbed the pants I was going to buy, and went to a register desk. I had noted her name and as I’m ringing out, I ask to see a manager. The cashier asked why and I told her I’d just like to speak to someone in charge.
Manager came and I explained what had happened. I was polite. I told her the exact conversation, and went on to say that it was insulting to have someone automatically assume that I wanted a larger size, and to assume I’d been the one to shove the candy bar in the pocket. I had brought it to the bitch’s attention because I knew it could be considered a health hazard, and probably needed to be written off. I wasn’t looking for a discount, nor was I looking for any freebie grabs, but I was damn well not going to sit back and watch someone with an attitude like that work customer service without repercussions.
The manager was polite, and listened, and seemed to be legitimately concerned with my complaint. Honestly, I think she was surprised I didn’t ask for any money off, but I bought pants that were on clearance, and just wanted to go home by that point. I saw the idiot associate on my way out and she glared at me, talking to someone else at the perfume counter, and she gestured to me. I flipped her off and blew her a kiss on my way out. It was either be a bitch or give in and cry. I'm already sensitive about my weight, thanks, I don't need an anorexic looking stuck up snob of a sales associate looking at me like I'm some kind of horrific looking science experiment gone wrong.
Well, I’m going to go see how much booze I have left in my pantry now.
Ok, so where to start? I got up early today, because this is my only day off this week, so I had a lot of errands to run. I went to the grocery store bright and early, in hopes of, you know, AVOIDING the idiots.
Wishful thinking, I know.
On the bus to the store
I’m sitting down, notepad in hand, headphones on, and going over my list, rewriting it so it’s organized by section of store, makes it easier for me. (Yes, I’m a bit OCD, your point??) This older woman sits next to me, and starts staring at my list. I don’t even make eye contact, because it’s early morning, I’m tired and wishing I was still asleep but just wanted to get the shopping done and over with. Cue tapping on my shoulder. Oi vey, here we go. I take one of my earphones out and look at her, hoping beyond hope she just has a quick question about the bus route or something.
Her: You shouldn’t be buying wine.
Me: o.0 <looks at my list> Huh? <I had written red wine with a question mark by it. I had been planning on making a fresh batch of marinara sauce and was out of wine to cook with.> I don’t really thing that’s any of your business.
Her: Drinking isn’t a good idea for anyone.
Me: <stares>
Her: Sweetheart, do you have Jesus in your life?
Me: >.<
Her: Here, I have some literature you might find interesting <She starts rummaging through her bag>
Me: No thank you, I’m not interested. <I put my earphones back in and turn the volume up>
She didn’t push it any further, but she did glare at me the rest of the way until I got to my stop. In hindsight, I really should have seen that as a sign of things to come and just gone back home, but no, I pressed onward and hit the grocery store.
But why are the buns gone?
I was in my local Kroger, and headed towards the cheese section when I hear a screeching harpy throwing a hissy fit because they didn’t have any cinnamon buns in their donut case. Seriously. Pissed off because of no cinnamon buns. I didn’t need anything from the bakery, so I veered off and took the long way around, lest my internal magnet somehow dragged me into the sucktitude.
Reading is fundamental! How many times do I have to say this!?!
Kroger is advertising one of their super savings events in their adds this week. Select any 8 participating items, and get $4.00 taken off at the registers, with your Kroger card. Now, the way the tags are laid out, they’ve got a sale price of say, $1.99 and right next to it another tag that says “participating item!” listing the price of $1.49 (the price after the $4 is taken off of the 8 participating items.)
We all know where this is heading, right?? I’m at the pharmacy aisle because I needed some multivitamins, and I was asking a pharmacist about iron supplements in the slim hopes that maybe, MAYBE they’ll know of one I can take to help with my anemia that won’t make me sick. As the nice pharmacist is talking to me before the pharmacy is even open mind you (I got to the store a little after 8, pharmacy opens at 9), I hear the telltale wailing of that dangerous beast: the EW. Apparently one was at the checkout right next to the pharmacy section. What fun.
EW:WHHHHHAAAAAAAAT?!?!? That’s supposed to be $1.49!! Why are you charging me more!?! This is false advertising!!
Cashier: Um. That promotion is only good on the savings event. And if you have our card, AND buy 8 participating items. This is the only one you bought.
EW: The price tag says $1.49! I demand it for that price!
C: Ma’am, if I can just show you the ad—
EW: Where is your manager!? This is RIDICULOUS!
C: But, ma’am.
EW: <Throws her hand in the cashier’s face to shush her> This. Is. RIDICULOUS.
The pharmacist is gaping at the scene. I sigh. Maybe if I shuffle off with my head down, I won’t be noticed and then—
Crap, too late.
EW: <Turns her head and spots the pharmacist and me. She waves her arm frantically> EXCUSE ME!! Are you someone in charge? Can you PLEASE tell your employee that he is REQUIRED to honor the ad price??
Pharmacist: Er…
Me: <muttering> Sweet tequila christ on a pogo stick, can no one read? Ever?
P: <Snorts, and does go over, explaining repeatedly to the EW how the sale works. >
EW ended up leaving unhappy, of course, and screaming the usual threats to report/never shop there again/steal the firstborn child. Y’all know how it goes. I get my vitamins, and by this time, it’s 9, so I head to the pharmacy counter to restock on Sudafed. Thank you weather fronts changing air pressure. Sinus headaches are so much fun. This of course leads me to:
I saw the word FREE. Everything MUST then be FREE!
Another sale Kroger is having, (which I cheerfully took advantage of), is a certain brand of vitamins is buy one, get one of the same item free. (The wording is important kids, take note. There WILL be a quiz later.)
I’m waiting in line behind this guy who was sitting in the pharmacy chair waiting for the clock to hit 9. As soon as the pharmacist started opening the gate, he bolted for the counter with a hand basket, glaring at me, as if daring me to try and go ahead. Whatever, Sunshine. I’m not in a hurry.
Genius here decided he was going to take advantage of the vitamin sale, too. Only problem is, he grabbed 12 different bottles or so, none of which were duplicates. He then demanded that he be charged for the $5-6 bottles, and get the $10-12 bottles free. As in, he would do the following.
SC: <place a small bottle of vitamin C caplets on the counter> So, I pay for these, and get THESE free. <Places a large bottle of multivitamins on the counter>
Pharmacy employee: Uh, sir, it doesn’t work like that…
SC: Your ad says buy one get one free!
Me: <Oh FFS, here we go again! I don’t even wait for the argument to start. I’m already irritated from earlier> The ad says buy one get one of SAME ITEM free.
SC: <Turns to me> What?
Me: <Holds up my copy of the ad paper, pointing to each word as I read it> Buy. One. Get. One. Of. SAME. ITEM. Free.
SC: But they’re all vitamins!
Me: >.< Ow…the stupid hurt my brain.
PE: Sir, I’m sorry, but she’s correct, the ad clearly states the sale is on same items only.
SC: I want your manager.
PE: Yes, sir, I can do that, if you’ll just step aside, I’ll page one and they’ll be here shortly.
He does page, and waves me forward. I ask for the Sudafed and put my vitamins on the counter. The transaction goes smoothly. $20 worth of vitamins, a 6 month supply for $10. Happy dance!
SC: Hey, you gave HER the sale! Why not me!?
Me: Are you really asking that? REALLY!?!?
SC: This is discrimination!! It’s sexual discrimination! He gave YOU the sale because of your tits!
(Note: It was fucking HOT outside. I was in a spaghetti strapped tank and skirt. Yes cleavage was showing, but really. Seriously??)
Me:
PE:
Me: <Pulls my vitamin bottles out of my bag> Ok, looks like we need visual aids here. These two bottles? EXACTLY the same. Same type, same name, same quantity, same price. YOUR 700 bottles? None of them match. At all. THAT’S why I got the sale because I read the damn ad!
SC: <leers at me> that and because you’ve got big tits!
Me: Better big tits than a small—
Yeah the pharmacist wandered over at this point and got between us, asking what the problem was. After hearing the SC rant, he was essentially chased out. I felt bad for the way I reacted and apologized, but the employee was too busy laughing and the pharmacist was kind of grinning, too. The pharmacist told me I should shop in his pharmacy more often. It’s entertaining
Joy.
interlude! Amusement at Starbucks
I go to the in store starbucks and two of the baristas I know are there. We strike up conversation while they mix up the drinks of the people in front of me. One of them was adding whipped cream to a frappuccino when the pressure nozzle broke. Whipped cream EVERYWHERE. He apologized, and offered to get a new cup, rather than wipe the current one down, because he didn’t want to give the guy a sticky cup.
The guy told him it was ok with a wipedown and then said “and it’s all right, I know how to clean sticky substances up, I do it all the time. I actually don’t mind it if it gets on my hands.”
Silence.
I snorted. I tried not to laugh, really, really I did. Poor guy realized what he said and turned so red. The baristas were trying really hard not to laugh, too. But I’m over there giggling because my brain is that warped, and the guy just finally sighs and comments that maybe he should’ve gotten a couple more shots of espresso because obviously he hadn’t had enough caffeine yet that morning to thing about what he said.
Aaaand moving on
Pwned! Or “Well, if you REALLY want it at that price”
I finally make it to the checkout. I got another of the personal mini watermelons. I love watermelon. I finished ringing out, no problem, and pushed my cart up to the side to arrange my bags and put my wallet away, so I get to hear the idiot behind me. He, too, had gotten one of the watermelons. After it scanned he started loudly declaring that the price was WRONG, and it needed to be fixed right away!! See, the display is under a big ol’ sign that says 2 for $5. He keeps haranguing the poor cashier that the price must be fixed. IMMEDIATELY. Then he turns to me. (Fuck, fuck fuck, I didn’t run fast enough!!)
SC: I mean, did your price ring up at the 2 for $5 deal?
Me: <Checks my receipt and barely, BARELY resist banging my head on the counter> Erm, well, no sir, it didn’t.
SC: SEE?!?! Stay put, we’ll get this straightened out.
Me: Um, no, sir, that’s ok. Really. I’m fine.
SC: So you WANT to be cheated? Fine! I’M not going to stand for it! The price says 2for $5, and I, by GOD am going to get it at 2 for $5! <To the cashier> Get someone over here NOW to fix this!
C: <Pages a manager. I try to slink away>
SC: Why are you so willing to let them charge you the wrong price!?!?
Me: Well, the sign said 2 for $5--
SC: Exactly!
Me: …but it rang up at $2.
SC: But the price is 2 for $5!
Me: Yes, sir. Meaning it’s CHEAPER!
SC:
Huh?Me: Well, 5 divided by 2 is 2.50. Technically I got my melon at the sale price of 2 for $4. But, you know, if YOU want to pay the price on the sign, go for it.
SC: <Splutters, glares at me.>
Me:
Have a great day! <waves to the cashier.> Thanks for all your help! <Rings the bell on my way out>Ugh. People!!
Fast forward. After going grocery shopping, coming home and eating some cookie dough ice cream to refortify myself, I went out again. You see, friends, I was in an unfortunate position of having to go shopping for pants. <WINCE>. I hate clothing shopping. With a passion. Especially for pants. Second only to bra shopping. But I need a pair or two, so I braced myself and caught a bus up to the nearest mall/shopping center nearby.
Once again on the bus
I’m on the phone with my sister on the way to the shopping center. This guy sits next to me, and proceeds to try and sprawl into my space. Once seat was not enough for him. He kept trying to shove me closer and closer to the wall, so he could have more space, to the point that his leg was pretty much laying on top of mine. I finally glared at him and said to my sister in a loud voice
“Hey, sweetie, do me a favor. Find the number for the local police department, will you. There’s this guy next to me and he keeps getting closer and closer, and his leg is on mine. That technically counts as harassment, right? I can file charges, right?”
That gets the attention of other people who are now watching him. He retracted himself rather quickly. When I pulled the cord for my stop, I stood up and said excuse me, he turned about a half inch to the side, and motioned me to go through. Um, no. Get off your ass. I have a large bag and I’m not a small girl, I cannot fit through the half inch of space you oh so graciously provided for me to leave. I told him excuse me again and he waves a hand at me. I sigh, and once again in a loud voice.
“I’m sorry, sir, but I am neither small enough, nor flexible enough to fit into the small iota of space you’ve generously created for me to exit through. If you could please stand up and let me off the bus, I’m sure the rest of these people would like to continue the trip to where they’re going!”
I hate people…
The quest for pants
I went to seven stores. SEVEN. And ended up with 2 pairs of pants. Insert generic mayhem here, dealing with people who let their kids run free, try to haggle on clearance prices, etc. I tuned it all out until I got to Palais Royale.
Now in the fitting rooms at this store, there is a call button on the wall with a sign that says push for assistance and an associate will help you find a different size/color, etc. I’m trying on a pair of capris, and I like the style, but they’re slightly loose, so I don’t know if one size smaller will work better. At this point, I’ve been pant shopping for 3 hours, I’m tired, cranky and really don’t want to face the hoards of
Me: Hi. I was trying on this style, and I like them. Thing is there a size 20, but I was actually needing—
Her: A bigger size? 22 or 24?
Me:
Her: <Rolls her eyes> 22 or 24?
Me: Neither, I was going to ask for the 18, actually.
Her: <It’s really hard to describe the look on her face here, but oooh, she very clearly thought I was deluding myself into thinking I was smaller than I am.> fine. 18. Anything else?
Me: You know what else you can bring me? Your supervisor. Now.
Her: <glares> why? I’m bringing you the size 18 you’re asking for.
Me: Bring them here, or I go find them. And I’ll be even LESS happy than I am now.
She disappeared and I never saw her again. I went out, found the 18s. (Alas, not quite small enough for them! I settled for the 20s. boo.) I then pulled another couple of styles off to try on and went into the fitting room. Yeah, tried on a pair and found a surprise in the pocket. A snickers bar! That someone had eaten, then spit all the peanuts back out, and stuffed them into the pockets!! EEEEWWW
I hit the call button again. Guess who showed up!?
Her: Oh. What can I get you this time.
Me: Still waiting on your boss. But until then, here, someone messed these up!
Her: <looks at the snickers wrapper, then back at me>
Me: If you any sense whatsoever, you will NOT say what you’re so clearly thinking.
I grabbed the pants I was going to buy, and went to a register desk. I had noted her name and as I’m ringing out, I ask to see a manager. The cashier asked why and I told her I’d just like to speak to someone in charge.
Manager came and I explained what had happened. I was polite. I told her the exact conversation, and went on to say that it was insulting to have someone automatically assume that I wanted a larger size, and to assume I’d been the one to shove the candy bar in the pocket. I had brought it to the bitch’s attention because I knew it could be considered a health hazard, and probably needed to be written off. I wasn’t looking for a discount, nor was I looking for any freebie grabs, but I was damn well not going to sit back and watch someone with an attitude like that work customer service without repercussions.
The manager was polite, and listened, and seemed to be legitimately concerned with my complaint. Honestly, I think she was surprised I didn’t ask for any money off, but I bought pants that were on clearance, and just wanted to go home by that point. I saw the idiot associate on my way out and she glared at me, talking to someone else at the perfume counter, and she gestured to me. I flipped her off and blew her a kiss on my way out. It was either be a bitch or give in and cry. I'm already sensitive about my weight, thanks, I don't need an anorexic looking stuck up snob of a sales associate looking at me like I'm some kind of horrific looking science experiment gone wrong.
Well, I’m going to go see how much booze I have left in my pantry now.
...Um no it fits fine around my belly.
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