Sunday Shopping Shenanigans - This is all xx_wolfie_xx's fault!!!

[lupo pazzesco]

Seriously, I’m already a chaos magnet, telling me beware or wishing me luck? That’s just BEGGING for something to happen to me. Further, it’s a grocery store on a Sunday afternoon. SO many families. With children. *twitch*


Awesome parenting, dude…part I
So, as mentioned. Lots of little kids. EVERYWHERE. There were also a few free sample tables set up around the store. This is a bad combination. I’m standing in the meat section, and the employee was asking me if I wanted to try whatever it was. She had two little sample cups left. I don’t even know what it was, but two kids, about 5 or 6 came racing over, yanked the cups off the table, knocking over her display on the table (Though not the electric skillet, thank goodness) and go shrieking off to mommy showing her what they have.

Mommy’s response? She waved them down an aisle and yabbered on her cell phone. I helped the employee clean up the mess, and went on my way. Buh. Kids.


No, that’s THEFT
I’m in the produce section, grabbing a few things, and I see this woman going through a display of strawberries. She’s opening cartons, taking out a few berries, and EATING THEM. After a while, she notices me gaping at her, and gets all huffy.

Her: What’re you looking at!?
Me: Erm…a thief?
Her: I’m TESTING them, to make sure they’re still GOOD. That’s not stealing.
Me: You’re EATING berries that you haven’t PAID for. That IS stealing.
Her: Shut up, bitch!
Me: <I shrug> Flattery will get you nowhere, you’re still a thief.
Her: <She looks confused. I wander off while her brain screeches to a halt and head to a different part of the section>


Um, yeah, that’s still called theft…
Different part of the produce section. A woman with 3 kids in her cart grabs a bag of grapes and tosses them in. Now, her children are super unhappy, they’re crying, squalling, etc, etc. So what does she do? She opens the grapes and starts telling her kids to eat ‘em. One of her children, too old to be in the cart asks mommy if this is wrong

Kid: Mama, we didn’t pay for those, we can’t eat them yet, can we?
IM(Idiot Mom): It’s ok, precious, we’ll pay for them later.
Kid: But mama, they’s marked at $x per pound. That’s gonna make ‘em lighter so we won’t pay for what was eating. (I’m silently cheering for this brilliant child!!!)
IM: (and her next words make me want to weep) Naw. See, stores EXPECT people to eat stuff, so they make the prices higher. It don’t matter if we eat the grapes, they’ll still get our money. C’mon we need corn dogs.
Kid: (follows her mother)

I’m left, gobsmacked. Oh, the brain, it hurts


Awesome parenting, dude…part II
Pop quiz!! You’re 6-ish year old son is crying!! Do you:

A. Take him outside, so you can calm him down
B. Take him into the restroom to calm him down
C. Ask him what’s wrong
D. Tell him to shut up while yakking on your cell phone
E. Tell him to shut the fk up or you’ll stuff him in the meat freezer and leave him there, so he’ll REALLY have something to cry about.

I just…I have no words. Really. Excellent fathering skills, really. They left the aisle before I could even pick my jaw up off the floor, and I lost sight of them, or else I seriously would’ve found an employee and asked them to call CPS.


Awesome parenting, dude…Part III (Warning, kinda gross)
So, I’m almost done. ALMOST. I’m THIIIIIIIISSS close to being done. In line at the checkout. I’m behind a mother with her 4 kids. One of whom looks to be about 3, and has chocolate stains all over her face. There are about 5 empty hershey’s wrappers in the cart (The store had them on sale, apparently). Now, after chickie there pigged out on chocolate, mom told her oldest son (I think it was son? Nephew, whatever. He was a teenager) to hold the girl while she emptied the cart onto the conveyer belt. Little girl was not happy with being held, she starts to shriek. What does teenager do? He tosses her in the air. Up. Down. Up. Down.

Little girl starts to shriek with joy. Teenager decides that since it entertains her, he’s going to spin her around, then toss her up and down. Oh boy.

Me: Um. Maybe you don’t want to do that, it’s kind of dangerous in a public place.
T: Whatever. <Spin. Toss. Up. Down>
IM (Another one!): Don’t be messing with my kids! I’m their mother, I’ll say what’s what!
Me: o.0 What…?

Ok, fine, sorry! I take a few steps back, because I just don’t have a good feeling about this.

Teenager continues spinning and tossing, spinning and tossing. Spin. Toss. Up. Down. Spin. Toss. Up. Down. Spin---aaaaand, now little girl projectile vomited. All over the teenager and a good part of the floor. Chocolate chunks. (Eww!! SORRY!! I shouldn’t have gone there!!!)

Of course, mom is upset. Because now they both need to be cleaned, and she doesn’t have time for this, etc, etc. Meanwhile, those of us behind this charming family in line, suddenly head looking for other cashiers. The woman behind me ended up behind me at the next line and she tapped me on the shoulder. I look over at her.

Her: You should’ve said “I told you so!”
Me: <Snickers> Yeah, well…hey, mind watching my cart for 30 seconds?
Her: Sure!

I run to the ice cream aisle and grab a pint. I so needed it. >.>



THE END!!

Curse you wolfie!!

[Aethian]

I just knew when you said you had needed icecream the post was going to be interesting. And I was right...

*snuggles and offers chocolate sauce for said icecream....still continues to beg for din din*

[Eisa]

You poor, poor thing. Kudos to you for mentioning that it's STEALING. I'd say it's one thing to eat ONE grape or something, but when you just start pigging out, that affects how much it weighs. That poor little kid, KNOWING what's right and having Mommy tell her it doesn't matter. I also feel sorry for that little girl projectile vomiting everywhere, you just know she's gonna get yelled at...and it's not even her fault.

[RestaurantDude]

Jeeez. You just attract the nutters, don't you? Poor lupo.

[Sapphire Silk]

Man oh man.

Everytime I read one of lupo's posts on shopping, I just know it's going to be a train wreck.

That's for meeting my high expectations

[surreal20]

I am always entertained by your stories Lupo! It makes me wonder if you are in the area I live, lol I tend to see weird stuff myself, but i normally don't remember it well enough to comment on here.

Thanks for the post! I hope that you continue to have stories, but at the same rate, i also hope that they aren't as...gross...as this last one. Further more, i hope at some point you can just witness someone else getting owned for something stupid instead of commenting and then having to walk away.

Chin up and lots more ice cream is what i say!

[Victory Sabre]

We need to attach a video camera to you when you go shopping.

You could be the next Allen Funt.

Sorry it went so badly, though.

[dalesys]

So is Lupo's new fashion accessory a wolfie-skin cape?

[xx_wolfie_xx]

*looks down* nope it's still attatched

[BookstoreEscapee]

I find if I go more towards dinner time it's not so crowded. Especially on Sunday, since people are home getting dinner, getting ready for the week, etc.

And as soon as you mentioned spinning, I knew how that one was gonna end...

[ferebee]

Um, yeah, that’s still called theft…
Different part of the produce section. A woman with 3 kids in her cart grabs a bag of grapes and tosses them in. Now, her children are super unhappy, they’re crying, squalling, etc, etc. So what does she do? She opens the grapes and starts telling her kids to eat ‘em. One of her children, too old to be in the cart asks mommy if this is wrong

Kid: Mama, we didn’t pay for those, we can’t eat them yet, can we?
IM(Idiot Mom): It’s ok, precious, we’ll pay for them later.
Kid: But mama, they’s marked at $x per pound. That’s gonna make ‘em lighter so we won’t pay for what was eating. (I’m silently cheering for this brilliant child!!!)
IM: (and her next words make me want to weep) Naw. See, stores EXPECT people to eat stuff, so they make the prices higher. It don’t matter if we eat the grapes, they’ll still get our money. C’mon we need corn dogs.
Kid: (follows her mother)

I’m left, gobsmacked. Oh, the brain, it hurts

Aside from the whole theft thing, I work in the produce dept, and do up grape snack cups; the grapes are plucked from the stems and very importantly, washed. If people had any idea how filthy they often are, they would not be grazing them.(Goes for strawberries too,and most other things that don't have protective peels like bananas, oranges, etc.) After de-stemming a bag, my gloves will be brown, gritty, and sometimes spider webby or buggy. Really, having worked produce, wash stuff before you eat it. Seriously. Unless we're preparing it for cut fruit/veggie dishes, we don't wash it. That's the customers job.

I'm wondering if grazers get tummy bugs more often and are then are mystified as to why.

[EvilEmpryss]

Awesome parenting, dude…part I
She had two little sample cups left. I don’t even know what it was, but two kids, about 5 or 6 came racing over, yanked the cups off the table, knocking over her display on the table (Though not the electric skillet, thank goodness) and go shrieking off to mommy showing her what they have.

My kids absolutely LOVE samples at Coseeco, but they know there are rules! They never take the last sample if someone else is waiting there first (they might turn on the mega-cute and ask the person if they can have it, but they don't just take it!), they always ask permission of the person running the table (some things with allergens require the sample-maker to get parental permission, first), and they always say please and thank you (it may come out as "pleaseandthankyou" as they reach for the sample, but the proprieties are met ). The kind of behavior APD pt 1's kid's showed would get MY kids punished.

No, that’s THEFT

Thank you, thank you, thank you! When people don't call this kind of behavior out it only reinforces it.

Um, yeah, that’s still called theft…:Kid: But mama, they’s marked at $x per pound. That’s gonna make ‘em lighter so we won’t pay for what was eating. (I’m silently cheering for this brilliant child!!!)
IM: (and her next words make me want to weep) Naw. See, stores EXPECT people to eat stuff, so they make the prices higher. It don’t matter if we eat the grapes, they’ll still get our money. C’mon we need corn dogs.

I, too, weep for this child. The potential for a thoughtful, intelligent, moral adult is is trapped by the influence of an adult who is none of those things. I can only hope the poor kid has excellent teachers and rolemodels to reinforce the potential outside the home.

The only thing that irks me more than seeing someone eating an item sold by weight (like produce) is when I find empty deli food containers stuck on shelves. Someone didn't just mindlessly knosh on some grapes as they did their shopping, they went to the deli, order some food to go, saw it weighed out and tagged with a price, and then wandered around the store consuming it, only to abandon the empty-and-unpaid-for container before they went to pay for the rest of their groceries.

Awesome parenting, dude…Part III (Warning, kinda gross). . .
Teenager continues spinning and tossing, spinning and tossing. Spin. Toss. Up. Down. Spin. Toss. Up. Down. Spin---aaaaand, now little girl projectile vomited. All over the teenager and a good part of the floor. Chocolate chunks. (Eww!! SORRY!! I shouldn’t have gone there!!!)
. . .
Her: You should’ve said “I told you so!”
Me: <Snickers> Yeah, well…hey, mind watching my cart for 30 seconds?
Her: Sure!

And here I thought the story was going to be about the candy bars that were not paid for. I wonder if Mommy Dearest tried to claim that they made her kid sick so she shouldn't have to pay for them?

Seconded on the "I told you so!" and "You deserve the ice cream!"

[bainsidhe]

What, no escapades on the bus?

*ducks and flees*

[lupo pazzesco]

What, no escapades on the bus?

*ducks and flees*

No, but that's cuz I WALKED to the store up the street.

[RxBoy]

That little kid who vomited at the end was priceless. I would have been rolling on the floor laughing. That mother got exactly what she deserved!