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The Apocalypse is Nigh!!! (Or, small post, just for slicey...)

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  • The Apocalypse is Nigh!!! (Or, small post, just for slicey...)

    So, I went grocery shopping and I think I'm in shock. It was relatively uneventful, which, for me, is saying something. Just two stories of note.

    I really need creeper-be-gone spray
    ...especially since the death of my pepperspray last week. Sadness.

    Anyways, I'm in the produce section, grabbing some cucumbers because they're on sale and I love to munch on them at any time of the day. Enter the Creeper.

    C: Well hi thar..
    Me: ...hi...
    C; So...you like cucumbers, huh. Whatcha doing rummaging through them like that.
    Me: I'm looking for fresher ones.
    C: Oh, so you don't think size matters? You's not looking for the biggest? Becuase, if you are--
    Me: <I cut him off> I am in no way interested in tales of your baby kosher dill.

    And I walk off while he's still gaping and spluttering.




    At the cash registers
    Everything is going swimmingly at this point, and I'm mildly alarmed. I hand over my reusable bags and load my stuff up on the conveyer belt. all goes well, I get told my total and swipe my debit card. I asked for $10 cash back for laundry money, and wait for the machine to process. It does, her cash drawer pops open...

    ...and she shuts it and essentially says kthxbai and reaches for the customer's items behind me.

    <---the look on my face

    Me: Um, excuse me, ma'am? Can I have my change?
    Her: You paid with card. No change.
    Me: But...I pushed yes for change.
    Her: No you didn't.
    Me: Yes I did.
    Her: No.
    Me: Oh for fuck's sake, can I have my receipt??
    Her: I gave it to you
    Me: No you didn't.
    Her: Yes I did.
    Me: Who's on first?! <Yes, I'm evil, but I was actually in a good mood, so I decided to play>
    Her: What!?!
    Me: Is on second, and I still don't have my receipt. It's that piece of paper sticking out of your receipt printer up there. <I point.>

    She takes it out and hands it to and tries the kthx for shopping, bye now line, but I pull the pen out of my pocket I was using for my grocery list and proceed to circle the cash back line 5 times, then handed back to her.

    Me: What's that say??
    Her: ...
    Me: ....
    Her: ....
    Me: ....(yeah, I can do this all day, bring it!)


    She finally pages a manager to come open her drawer so I can get my change. She tries to give it to me in all ones, but I just give a super sweet smile and bring out the southern drawl I normally don't use.

    Me: Oh, and can I puh-leeeeease get that as either one ten or two fiiives? Thank you sooo much!!

    She gives me my change, I thank her profusely in a nauseatingly sweet voice and go about my merry way.




    And...that's it. That's all that happened. I'm scared, this is like...the end of the world or something big is coming and I don't wanna face it.

    someone hold me. >.>
    Last edited by lupo pazzesco; 10-23-2010, 06:25 PM.

  • #2
    Wow, what a bitch.

    I guess you didn't need to wear your nightie after all. (Actually, that probably would have made the first one worse...)
    I don't go in for ancient wisdom
    I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
    It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

    Comment


    • #3
      woohoo! lupo post!

      and i love you in the second story

      and yeah im awesome enough to be in a lupo title!
      Last edited by Sliceanddice; 10-23-2010, 06:29 PM.

      Comment


      • #4
        *holds and gives pumpkin chai muffins* Can I just say how glad I am that I wasn't drinking anything while reading that first story? XD I would've needed a new keyboard otherwise, because that made me giggle.

        Also, who crapped in that cashier's cornflakes? o.o
        "Things that fail to kill me make me level up." ~ NateWantsToBattle, Training Hard (Counting Stars parody)

        Comment


        • #5
          Quoth BookstoreEscapee View Post
          I guess you didn't need to wear your nightie after all. (Actually, that probably would have made the first one worse...)
          ...

          Infinitely worse.

          damn it, BE, now I have to get the brain bleach!!!



          Quoth Sliceanddice View Post
          woohoo! lupo post!

          and i love you in the second story

          and yeah im awesome enough to be in a lupo title!
          aw, sugar, you are made of win and awesome! Hope you feel better soon!!


          Quoth firecat88 View Post
          *holds and gives pumpkin chai muffins* Can I just say how glad I am that I wasn't drinking anything while reading that first story? XD I would've needed a new keyboard otherwise, because that made me giggle.

          Also, who crapped in that cashier's cornflakes? o.o

          so THAT'S where the rest of that muffin batch went...

          Re: the first story, I figured it better to just shut him up from the get go. Skeezer. Blech.

          And, I guess to be fair to the cashier, she probably thought I was trying to pull a cash scam, but jeebus, I don't know, maybe she was just in a bad mood because she didn't sleep well last night.

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth lupo pazzesco View Post
            ...And, I guess to be fair to the cashier, she probably thought I was trying to pull a cash scam, but jeebus, I don't know, maybe she was just in a bad mood because she didn't sleep well last night.
            That she didn't give you your receipt, and argued with you tells me different.

            As for the Creeper: guess he gets too many of his dating tips from Eric Stratten.
            They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

            Comment


            • #7
              Lupo I like your crazy stories, screw pepper spray you can pick out a knife from my collection. As for the checker what the hell, she should have been less of a pissy airhead and paid attention to her job.
              ......../\
              ....../__\
              ..../\...../\
              ../__\../__\

              Comment


              • #8
                I second BE - What a bitch! The only time I've had my drawer close when a customer got cash back was... Actually an accident, and I realized it WAY fast. I was leaning forward a bit, and wasn't expecting the drawer to pop open(Next to no customers warn me they're getting cash back... It'd be nice and all...)... Well, it hit my fat belly and closed post-haste, so I had to call a head cashier, while apologizing to the customer about it.
                Look, a signature!

                If every cashier in the world went on strike, retail would come to a screeching halt, even if for a couple hours.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth Panacea View Post
                  That she didn't give you your receipt, and argued with you tells me different.
                  I'm putting my money on her wanting your $10 for herself....

                  The super slick way she tried to get you to leave without giving it to you and the fact that she didn't give you your receipt, which for any cashier who has been at it for any length of time should be almost pure habit plus her resisting just giving it to you makes me think she was put out because you caught her at it.

                  ^-.-^
                  Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I agree with AB, sounds like the cashier was trying to steal the money. Did you report it to a manager?

                    Also "baby kosher dill" I am so stealing that...
                    The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

                    Now queen of USSR-Land...

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Hmm..I suspected there was a slight disturbance in the Force. Now I know why.


                      Did you at least catch the manager or stop by customer service and let them know about the cashier?
                      Random conversation:
                      Me: Okay..so I think I get why Zoro wears a bandana
                      DDD: Cuz it's cool

                      So, by using the Doctor's reasoning, bow ties, fezzes and bandanas are cool.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I have to agree with a few..as much as I always give people the benefit of the doubt..something is odd about the way the cashier acted. While it could have been an honest accident..sure doesn't seem that way.

                        As for the first guy..are you sure he even had THAT much? I think you may have been giving him a little to much credit.
                        Engaged to the amazing Marmalady. She is my Silver Dragon, shining as bright as the sun. I her Black Dragon (though good honestly), dark as night..fierce and strong.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I wonder how many times the cashier in #2 got away with this.

                          Now I come to think of it, it makes me wonder, also, how she expected to get away with it. I'd assume, based on POS systems I've used, that she can't add cash back onto debit card transactions if the customer hasn't pushed Yes (although if she's a good enough con artist she could social-engineer the customers into pushing Yes when they don't want cash back), but I can't see someone asking for cash and then not realizing they haven't got it, unless they're . . . well, the kind of people who don't read things like sale signs. OK, maybe she did get away with it sometimes. Still think you should bring that to the manager's attention.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I did point out the oddity of the error to the manager when he came to open her register, y'all. I'm ditzy, not dumb.

                            I just phrased it as "maybe the machines need to be looked at, or the system of cashback in general, since I pushed that I wanted cash back and something or someone in the process didn't pick up on it while looking at the cashier."

                            Too subtle??

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Quoth lupo pazzesco View Post
                              I did point out the oddity of the error to the manager when he came to open her register, y'all. I'm ditzy, not dumb.

                              I just phrased it as "maybe the machines need to be looked at, or the system of cashback in general, since I pushed that I wanted cash back and something or someone in the process didn't pick up on it while looking at the cashier."

                              Too subtle??
                              Yeah, too subtle. I'd have come right out and said that the cashier was arguing with me about my cash back and even offered to turn out all pockets and show the contents of my wallet and purse. I have done this when it's happened on occasion. I haven't gone as far as telling them to check their cameras, but I'm sure it'll happen eventually.
                              Random conversation:
                              Me: Okay..so I think I get why Zoro wears a bandana
                              DDD: Cuz it's cool

                              So, by using the Doctor's reasoning, bow ties, fezzes and bandanas are cool.

                              Comment

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