So, I went grocery shopping and I think I'm in shock. It was relatively uneventful, which, for me, is saying something. Just two stories of note.
I really need creeper-be-gone spray
...especially since the death of my pepperspray last week. Sadness.
Anyways, I'm in the produce section, grabbing some cucumbers because they're on sale and I love to munch on them at any time of the day. Enter the Creeper.
C: Well hi thar..
Me: ...hi...
C; So...you like cucumbers, huh. Whatcha doing rummaging through them like that.
Me: I'm looking for fresher ones.
C: Oh, so you don't think size matters? You's not looking for the biggest? Becuase, if you are--
Me: <I cut him off> I am in no way interested in tales of your baby kosher dill.
And I walk off while he's still gaping and spluttering.
At the cash registers
Everything is going swimmingly at this point, and I'm mildly alarmed. I hand over my reusable bags and load my stuff up on the conveyer belt. all goes well, I get told my total and swipe my debit card. I asked for $10 cash back for laundry money, and wait for the machine to process. It does, her cash drawer pops open...
...and she shuts it and essentially says kthxbai and reaches for the customer's items behind me.
<---the look on my face
Me: Um, excuse me, ma'am? Can I have my change?
Her: You paid with card. No change.
Me: But...I pushed yes for change.
Her: No you didn't.
Me: Yes I did.
Her: No.
Me: Oh for fuck's sake, can I have my receipt??
Her: I gave it to you
Me: No you didn't.
Her: Yes I did.
Me: Who's on first?! <Yes, I'm evil, but I was actually in a good mood, so I decided to play>
Her: What!?!
Me: Is on second, and I still don't have my receipt. It's that piece of paper sticking out of your receipt printer up there. <I point.>
She takes it out and hands it to and tries the kthx for shopping, bye now line, but I pull the pen out of my pocket I was using for my grocery list and proceed to circle the cash back line 5 times, then handed back to her.
Me: What's that say??
Her: ...
Me: ....
Her: ....
Me: ....(yeah, I can do this all day, bring it!)
She finally pages a manager to come open her drawer so I can get my change. She tries to give it to me in all ones, but I just give a super sweet smile and bring out the southern drawl I normally don't use.
Me: Oh, and can I puh-leeeeease get that as either one ten or two fiiives? Thank you sooo much!!
She gives me my change, I thank her profusely in a nauseatingly sweet voice and go about my merry way.
And...that's it. That's all that happened. I'm scared, this is like...the end of the world or something big is coming and I don't wanna face it.
someone hold me. >.>
I really need creeper-be-gone spray
...especially since the death of my pepperspray last week. Sadness.
Anyways, I'm in the produce section, grabbing some cucumbers because they're on sale and I love to munch on them at any time of the day. Enter the Creeper.
C: Well hi thar..
Me: ...hi...
C; So...you like cucumbers, huh. Whatcha doing rummaging through them like that.
Me: I'm looking for fresher ones.
C: Oh, so you don't think size matters? You's not looking for the biggest? Becuase, if you are--
Me: <I cut him off> I am in no way interested in tales of your baby kosher dill.
And I walk off while he's still gaping and spluttering.
At the cash registers
Everything is going swimmingly at this point, and I'm mildly alarmed. I hand over my reusable bags and load my stuff up on the conveyer belt. all goes well, I get told my total and swipe my debit card. I asked for $10 cash back for laundry money, and wait for the machine to process. It does, her cash drawer pops open...
...and she shuts it and essentially says kthxbai and reaches for the customer's items behind me.
<---the look on my face
Me: Um, excuse me, ma'am? Can I have my change?
Her: You paid with card. No change.
Me: But...I pushed yes for change.
Her: No you didn't.
Me: Yes I did.
Her: No.
Me: Oh for fuck's sake, can I have my receipt??
Her: I gave it to you
Me: No you didn't.
Her: Yes I did.
Me: Who's on first?! <Yes, I'm evil, but I was actually in a good mood, so I decided to play>
Her: What!?!
Me: Is on second, and I still don't have my receipt. It's that piece of paper sticking out of your receipt printer up there. <I point.>
She takes it out and hands it to and tries the kthx for shopping, bye now line, but I pull the pen out of my pocket I was using for my grocery list and proceed to circle the cash back line 5 times, then handed back to her.
Me: What's that say??
Her: ...
Me: ....
Her: ....
Me: ....(yeah, I can do this all day, bring it!)
She finally pages a manager to come open her drawer so I can get my change. She tries to give it to me in all ones, but I just give a super sweet smile and bring out the southern drawl I normally don't use.
Me: Oh, and can I puh-leeeeease get that as either one ten or two fiiives? Thank you sooo much!!
She gives me my change, I thank her profusely in a nauseatingly sweet voice and go about my merry way.
And...that's it. That's all that happened. I'm scared, this is like...the end of the world or something big is coming and I don't wanna face it.
someone hold me. >.>
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