Chicken Wings Frustration....

[Jester]

This is separate from the Great Celery Experiment detailed elsewhere.

So I've been doing some research on making my own wings sauce. Or more accurately, I've been trying to. See, the problem is, it is almost impossible to find any recipes where they make the sauce from scratch, i.e., don't use a premade hot sauce as part of it. Hell, half the recipes on line simply say "Butter and Frank's Hot Sauce."

Well, damn it, I want to make my own version of wing sauce, thank you very much. And I am going to make it from scratch. And I am NOT going to use any premade hot sauce to do it. Why? Because, this is a fucking cookoff, damn it. Anybody can just mix hot sauce and butter. Big whoops. How tough is that? Where's the originality?

Amusingly, in several spots on the web, other people post a similar question, saying they are simply looking for recipes that make the sauce from scratch. And invariably, some condescending person will say "just use butter and Frank's."

This is where my rant should end. But no no no, it's never that simple. While at the grocery store last night, I texted my older sister The Witch asking her a very simple, very specific question. She even got her boyfriend The Ref involved, because he is from Buffalo, and of course, everyone from Buffalo is an "expert" on wings. Just ask them! Of course, he didn't annoy me any less than her. Here is the text log, verbatim (with my thoughts in italics):

JESTER: Salted or unsalted butter for making wing sauce.
THE WITCH: Butter and red hot...that's all you need...salt if you like.
That was NOT what I was asking you. wench! I didn't ask for a recipe. I simply asked which kind of butter I should use.
THE WITCH: That from Buffalo Boy.
Still doesn't answer my simple question.
JESTER: That wasn't my question. I'm creating my own wing sauce from scratch. I just need to know, salted or unsalted for the butter, please. Thanks.
THE WITCH: This is [The Ref]...king from Buffalo...You can use either per your liking.
And that still didn't answer my question, despite the "expert" chiming in. Look, if it's so specific and he's such an expert, why can't he answer one simple fucking question? Grrr.....

So at the suggestion of a lovely lady who was there (who I actually thought worked there!), I went with salted, since that's what her Mama uses.

Still, the whole thing is very irritating.

[firecat88]

http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Hot-Sauce

I looked up 'Hot sauce from scratch', and that was the first thing that came up. I'd imagine you could probably add your own little touches/adjustments to it to make it more to your liking.

[Sliceanddice]

*sick giggle* i like the little video showing you how to do it

[ArcticChicken]

I always buy unsalted butter, and just add more salt if the recipe calls for salted, 1/4tsp per stick.

[teh_blumchenkinder]

HUGE thank you for disdaining Frank's. I hate it and I think it tastes like ciggy-ash. I imagine salt vs no salt butter relies on how much salt is needed for the 'hot sauce' portion... best of luck with the sauce portion.

[Jester]

I looked up 'Hot sauce from scratch', and that was the first thing that came up.

Dorky me, I was googling "wing sauce from scratch" and "buffalo sauce from scratch." Never thought to google "hot sauce from scratch," as technically I am not making hot sauce.

As for Frank's, I was not disdaining it I have nothing against it, nor am I a proponent of it....I just want a recipe that does not call for a premade hot sauce, Frank's or otherwise, despite the fact that I have plenty of them in my pantry.

Honestly, I wasn't looking for a recipe to use per se, but one or two as a guideline so I could put my own spin on it. But apparently all "true" wing cooks use Frank's and butter. Which makes me wonder how they judge wing cookoffs if everyone is a "true" wing cook.....

As for the butter, I went with the salted. Fuck it, I'll fix it if it goes awry.

[lordlundar]

Dorky me, I was googling "wing sauce from scratch" and "buffalo sauce from scratch." Never thought to google "hot sauce from scratch," as technically I am not making hot sauce.

That's the thing. Buffalo wing sauce is essentially "your favorite hot sauce and butter", so if you want to make your own straight from scratch, you are looking for a hot sauce recipe.

[Jester]

But technically speaking, I'm not making buffalo wing sauce. I'm making Jester wing sauce.

It will be spicy. It will be sweet. It will be smokey. But it will not in any way be the classic Buffalo wing sauce. It will be darker, sweet, probably thicker.

This is a chicken wings cookoff. It is not a Buffalo chicken wings cookoff.

[lordlundar]

But technically speaking, I'm not making buffalo wing sauce. I'm making Jester wing sauce.

<facepalm>

Okay, fine. The essential recipe for a wing sauce is "your favorite hot sauce and butter". So you're still looking for a hot sauce recipe first and foremost.

Happy now?

[Mikkel]

I don't think it matters whether you use salted or unsalted butter. The only difference is the salt, right? Just use more salt when using unsalted butter.
Do you even need butter? Wouldn't oil do? Olive oil give a taste to the food, but rapeseed oil doesn't. That would be good for people with allergies.

[Fire_on_High]

Hate to say it Jester but fam's from Buffalo and still has the original newspaper clipping...yes, it's Frank's.

That said, I'm always open to trying new sauces and wish I could get to try yours when you're done!

[Jester]

So you're still looking for a hot sauce recipe first and foremost.

No. I have created one. Independent of Frank's, Tabasco, Cholula, and every other prepackaged hot sauce.

And....it rocked.

Do you even need butter? Wouldn't oil do?

That would be good for people with allergies.

In order:
Yes.
No.
Fuck 'em.

Next question?

Hate to say it Jester but fam's from Buffalo and still has the original newspaper clipping...yes, it's Frank's.

Yes, the original recipe is Frank's.

I'm. Not. Doing. The. Original.

I'm doing my own spin, thank you very much. And mind turned out pretty fucking awesome!

That said, I'm always open to trying new sauces and wish I could get to try yours when you're done!

Would love to have you try it!

[MoonCat]

of course, everyone from Buffalo is an "expert" on wings. Just ask them!

Why yes, yes we are, thanks for asking!

I'd still like to try your new sauce, though.

Oh, and the National Buffalo Wing Festival is Labor Day weekend. One of the contests is for Amateur Creative Wing Sauce.

[Jester]

Oh, and the National Buffalo Wing Festival is Labor Day weekend. One of the contests is for Amateur Creative Wing Sauce.

Noted.

Any more details regarding how I might pursue this would be most appreciated, and probably rewarded with various sundry spirits.....

[Jester]

So the cookoff went well. I didn't place, but people really liked my wings, everything came out damn good, and I couldn't be happier.

Alzheimer's Moment: From the previous chili cookoff at this bar, I had won a $50 bar tab. I planned on using this for drinks at the wings cookoff. And dopey me, I left the certificate for the bar tab at home, a good 2.5 miles from the bar. A bar I don't hang out at that often, and which doesn't have any cookoffs scheduled any time soon. And of course, it would totally have covered my tab, which ended up being only $43. Would have been less but of course I had to buy a round of shots.

And I had plenty of wing sauce left over. Which is good, because apparently I'm gonna need it...there is another wings cookoff in two weeks on Saturday, the 9th. Which gives me a chance to do better.

The wings were great, though I think next time I am going to smoke them a little longer. The bleu cheese dressing was great. I am not changing that at all. But the sauce itself, I am going to tinker with that. I am going to add more apple cider vinegar, thin the sauce out a little (it was very marinara-y), add a few other things, make it a bit sweeter and darker than it was, and possibly strain it for a less chunky consistency. It was great....it can be greater. (I have the leftover sauce in my freezer for now.)

Of course, now I have a semi-destroyed kitchen I need to clean. Free beer to anyone who cleans it for me! I really don't want to deal with it, but as I am showing the apartment to potential roommates, I kinda have to.

Oh, and I have a Malbec cookoff on the 5th (food paired with Malbec, not necessarily cooked with it), but I did not take off work, so may be at work as late as the start time of the cookoff...and frankly, haven't given this cookoff much thought. May just bypass it.