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These Are Awkward Times
Name and some details have been changes to protect the identity (and dignity) of the person involved.
A few days ago, late at night, a coworker of mine who I will simply call "Lady" was talking about something I see as a work taboo. Sex. More specifically, sex between her and her boyfriend. And I don't mean her quietly venting her frustration either. I mean her practically shouting, in great detail, about her sex life. Picture this:
Me, talking to a customer who is ordering food. In the background, a coworker is shouting, "I tried doggie style, 69, I tried giving him blow jobs as foreplay, I tried screaming sexy things during sex, but we still can't orgasm together".
........(((((((O_O) Awkwarrrdd.
She was going into great detail about when she first lost her virginity, how it felt, what she expected vs. what she got, the positions she tried, the outfits she wore for him, the fetishes she touched on, the things she's screamed, etc, etc, etc.
The customers at the speaker could hear every word, the customers at the window could hear her. Finally, I tried...
Me: Lady, you know people can hear you, right?
Lady: Oh, Kisa! Stop it. They can not.
Me: Yes, they can. I can hear you over the headset and so can they. I can hear you from over here and so can they.
Lady: Oh....well whatever.
...and SHE KEPT TALKING. I was getting the what-the-hell-is-that-crazy-bitch's-damage look from customers and I had to apologise for her a few hundred times....
After going through all the details in her sex history, she started asking for advice. One coworker of mine obliged, telling her to have sex in public, sit on top, squeeze down on him, use lube, use sex toys, etc. She then turned to me.
Lady: Kisa, do YOU have any advice?
Me: Please don't drag me into this.
Lady: Anything. I just want to be able to make my boyfriend cum inside me.
Me:
I'm asking nicely. PLEASE. DO NOT DRAG ME INTO THIS. I don't want to discuss this in front of the customers.
Lady: *sighs* Alright. So, CW, I tried the sex in public thing and it seemed to scare him instead of excite him because his dick got all limp after just a few minutes....
Me:
Too. Much. Information. Thanks. I buried my face in my hands and tuned her out until she left. It was waaayyyyyy awkward.....
A few days ago, late at night, a coworker of mine who I will simply call "Lady" was talking about something I see as a work taboo. Sex. More specifically, sex between her and her boyfriend. And I don't mean her quietly venting her frustration either. I mean her practically shouting, in great detail, about her sex life. Picture this:
Me, talking to a customer who is ordering food. In the background, a coworker is shouting, "I tried doggie style, 69, I tried giving him blow jobs as foreplay, I tried screaming sexy things during sex, but we still can't orgasm together".
........(((((((O_O) Awkwarrrdd.
She was going into great detail about when she first lost her virginity, how it felt, what she expected vs. what she got, the positions she tried, the outfits she wore for him, the fetishes she touched on, the things she's screamed, etc, etc, etc.
The customers at the speaker could hear every word, the customers at the window could hear her. Finally, I tried...
Me: Lady, you know people can hear you, right?
Lady: Oh, Kisa! Stop it. They can not.
Me: Yes, they can. I can hear you over the headset and so can they. I can hear you from over here and so can they.
Lady: Oh....well whatever.
...and SHE KEPT TALKING. I was getting the what-the-hell-is-that-crazy-bitch's-damage look from customers and I had to apologise for her a few hundred times....
After going through all the details in her sex history, she started asking for advice. One coworker of mine obliged, telling her to have sex in public, sit on top, squeeze down on him, use lube, use sex toys, etc. She then turned to me.
Lady: Kisa, do YOU have any advice?
Me: Please don't drag me into this.
Lady: Anything. I just want to be able to make my boyfriend cum inside me.
Me:
I'm asking nicely. PLEASE. DO NOT DRAG ME INTO THIS. I don't want to discuss this in front of the customers.Lady: *sighs* Alright. So, CW, I tried the sex in public thing and it seemed to scare him instead of excite him because his dick got all limp after just a few minutes....
Me:
Too. Much. Information. Thanks. I buried my face in my hands and tuned her out until she left. It was waaayyyyyy awkward.....
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