You actually put that on the ticket?

[PepperElf]

On the ticket, part of it reads what we're suppose to do to the customer's computer.

it read, "yall are going to be creating some recovery discs and then yall can install <software> to it too" (or something close to that).


Everyone who read the ticket: ...


I'm sure the manager will have a talk with him over it but hell... that was fucking funny. and believe me we needed a good laugh like that.


as one of my coworkers said... "it's exactly the same way he talks!"

[teh_blumchenkinder]

XD that's awesome-- and sounds right too?

[underemployeed]

um, wow. I thought it was bad getting tickets saying "It's broke" were bad.

[Sonoma]

um, wow. I thought it was bad getting tickets saying "It's broke" were bad.

Back in my days of doing print-tests for a big printer manufacturer, one of the computers in my station was being very tempermental. It was to the point where I was working with our Engineering department to solve the issue. Right before he left for the night, he said if it gives me any problems, just write "No Workie" on a post-it, stick it on the computer, & he'd look at it in the morning (I worked swing shift).

Of course, halfway through the shift, computer quit, so I grabbed a postie, and followed his instructions.

[poisoned_flowers]

Of course, halfway through the shift, computer quit, so I grabbed a postie, and followed his instructions.

I actually had a AM tell me if my counter machine went on the fritz, that I was to smack it really hard and cuss at it! Well, it did, I did, and it started working again!

[Racket_Man]

I actually had a AM tell me if my counter machine went on the fritz, that I was to smack it really hard and cuss at it! Well, it did, I did, and it started working again!

I used to be the IT manager for a small family run jewelry store chain. their POSs were very tempermential. I used to verbally threaten the machine with physical violence (the usual sledgehammer or explosives or semi-truck) over the phone when the store workers called in saying it was acting up. I usually won. not sure why.

[EricKei]

Well, it did, I did, and it started working again!

I usually won. not sure why.

Simple. Computers don't pay attention to yelling and such from ordinary users -- they know that the threats are empty. When they get threatened by somebody who knows what they're doing, the comps straighten up and fly right, as they seem to know that we are more than capable of disassembling them and using their innards as glorified toaster components, if we should so choose

[BeeMused]

Simple. Computers don't pay attention to yelling and such from ordinary users --

The same happens in IT training...

Me in front of group with computer and projector: Explain Explain Explain Demonstrate Demonstrate Demonstrate
'Now you try it!'
Inevitable one of the group would call me over: 'It doesn't work!!!!'
Me: 'OK, do it again!'
Now it works perfectly.
'But but but, I did it just like that! Why does it work now??????'
Me: 'Oh that's just my magical aura!

[sms001]

I used to be almost Spock-like in my rationality and aversion to anthropomorphizing inanimate objects.
Until I met Mrs. Mmm.
Electronics HATED her. Her worst nemesis was a network printer in another room from her office. EVERYone could print to that printer. EVERYone could print to that printer FROM MRS. Mmmm's computer. But if it was her sending hitting 'Print,' no dice. How a perfectly normal HP laser knew from 40 feet and two walls away who was sitting at the keyboard, I never figured out. But I've been more open-minded since.

[EricKei]

anthropomorphizing inanimate objects.

Indeed. Computers really hate it when you do that

[Racket_Man]

Simple. Computers don't pay attention to yelling and such from ordinary users -- they know that the threats are empty. When they get threatened by somebody who knows what they're doing, the comps straighten up and fly right, as they seem to know that we are more than capable of disassembling them and using their innards as glorified toaster components, if we should so choose

the funniest one was the receipt printer. the paper sensor would always go off into the Twilight Zone. even though I had told the store employees many many times how to fix the problem I would always have to tell them

"take a paperclip, unfold it one bend or one of your jewelers screwdrivers and flick the little brown piece of plastic in the printer. that should reset it." MY Ex wife delighted in mocking me whenever I got that sort of call.

naaaa disaaembling them is NO fun. smacking them with a sledgehammer or blowing them up with illegal explosives is WAAAAYYYYY more satisfying. one of managers DID however come up with a novel approach -- he threatened to drop said machine off a very high cliff. and yes that worked too

[Mytical]

When I was going to college the first time (around 1995) there was a student who was pretty much always called to do tech support. He eventually became the college's head IT guy by the way.

Anyhow, I over heard him talking to a very stubborn printer one day. He said "I have a screwdriver, plenty of snacks and drinks, and all day. Do you really not want to work?" For some reason it worked right for quite a long time after that.

[Geek King]

Anyhow, I over heard him talking to a very stubborn printer one day. He said "I have a screwdriver, plenty of snacks and drinks, and all day. Do you really not want to work?" For some reason it worked right for quite a long time after that.

My personal tao for computers was inspired by Bloom County: "I'll turn you into a programable toaster oven! You hear me!? A g-ddamn toaster oven!"

The fact that it works sometimes only adds to my legend.

[Andara Bledin]

How a perfectly normal HP laser knew from 40 feet and two walls away who was sitting at the keyboard, I never figured out. But I've been more open-minded since.

Bio-electric signature.

Electronics and houseplants always know.

^-.-^

[sms001]

Bio-electric signature.
Electronics and houseplants always know.

I'm more inclined to think of it as recognizing the fist. But printers are so dumb!