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Due to the onslaught of forced overtime at the Factory of the Damned, rather than celebrating my birthday yesterday, on the day I was actually born 31 years ago, I celebrated it today. My boyfriend managed to gather a few of my best friends and we had a nice supper (after a jaunt through the shopping center where the restaurant is located that involved plunging my hand inadvertently into a used toilet, and bursting into tears at a pet shop) before heading off downtown to wander and mingle.
Mind you, I live in a resort city and it's the middle of high tourist season. We're also known as a somewhat odd place, and while we're interesting enough in the off season, during tourist season you are outright guaranteed to see something to write home about.
And so we did.
Things spotted downtown tonight:
1. Breakdancers in front of the art museum performing to an appreciative crowd. From time to time they would take a break (ha!) and the crowd would disperse. Later on they would start up again, and another crowd would instantly form. For instant spectators, just add breakdancing!
2. Street preacher bellowing about salvation, walking back and forth on a low wall at one edge of the central square. Behind him, people were taking pictures of each other astride the big bronze turkey and pig. One man had his picture taken while appearing to surf the pig.
3. In rapid succession, a disturbed person having an intense argument with a tree, a very butch lesbian who demanded two dollars for the bus, and another disturbed person who took offense to the first disturbed person and -- rather than work out his aggression on the first disturbed person -- decided instead to chase me down the street.
4. A man wearing yellow body paint, khaki pants, and very high, rhinestone-studded high heels balancing on a small teeter-totter while juggling scimitars.
5. A family of Sikhs. Remember that beards + turbans + plaid shorts = awesome. Always.
6. A man dressed as a nun, riding a 12-foot-tall bicycle out in front of a speeding purple school bus filled with screaming tourists. As it passed, one friend noted the screaming, then noted, "Oh, it's just *local tour company*." Then we returned to our conversation with a nearby man and his 135-pound gray dog without a hitch.
7. Graffiti in a coffee shop bathroom. Some highlights included the word "poultry" scrawled. Nearby, someone else had written "Yummy!" and drown an arrow to "poultry." Over the sink someone had written "Everybody who pees in the sink check here." Underneath were five check marks. Below that someone else had written "She can't hurt me anymore. Waiting 4 mother 2 die." And those were just what I remember. Every surface in the bathroom, including the toilet, was thickly covered with the written word.
8. A group of people in the bookstore/champagne bar where we ended the evening having a very loud conversation about how one of the ladies in the group looks very regal when she's throwing up in the street. Later, the comment was made that "if you went to some fairytale witch's hut in the woods, but it was run by hipsters, it would look like this."
And finally...
9. A very drunk group of people -- the men in suits and the women in cocktail dresses -- staggering down the street. One of the men hoisted one of the women over his shoulder and continued on his way with her head wagging limply at just the right height to bump his ass with her nose.
I remarked to my boyfriend that it was unusual, yes, but hardly the most unusual thing we had seen. It wasn't even the most unusual thing we had seen today.
How about you? Seen anything interesting today?
Mind you, I live in a resort city and it's the middle of high tourist season. We're also known as a somewhat odd place, and while we're interesting enough in the off season, during tourist season you are outright guaranteed to see something to write home about.
And so we did.
Things spotted downtown tonight:
1. Breakdancers in front of the art museum performing to an appreciative crowd. From time to time they would take a break (ha!) and the crowd would disperse. Later on they would start up again, and another crowd would instantly form. For instant spectators, just add breakdancing!
2. Street preacher bellowing about salvation, walking back and forth on a low wall at one edge of the central square. Behind him, people were taking pictures of each other astride the big bronze turkey and pig. One man had his picture taken while appearing to surf the pig.
3. In rapid succession, a disturbed person having an intense argument with a tree, a very butch lesbian who demanded two dollars for the bus, and another disturbed person who took offense to the first disturbed person and -- rather than work out his aggression on the first disturbed person -- decided instead to chase me down the street.
4. A man wearing yellow body paint, khaki pants, and very high, rhinestone-studded high heels balancing on a small teeter-totter while juggling scimitars.
5. A family of Sikhs. Remember that beards + turbans + plaid shorts = awesome. Always.
6. A man dressed as a nun, riding a 12-foot-tall bicycle out in front of a speeding purple school bus filled with screaming tourists. As it passed, one friend noted the screaming, then noted, "Oh, it's just *local tour company*." Then we returned to our conversation with a nearby man and his 135-pound gray dog without a hitch.
7. Graffiti in a coffee shop bathroom. Some highlights included the word "poultry" scrawled. Nearby, someone else had written "Yummy!" and drown an arrow to "poultry." Over the sink someone had written "Everybody who pees in the sink check here." Underneath were five check marks. Below that someone else had written "She can't hurt me anymore. Waiting 4 mother 2 die." And those were just what I remember. Every surface in the bathroom, including the toilet, was thickly covered with the written word.
8. A group of people in the bookstore/champagne bar where we ended the evening having a very loud conversation about how one of the ladies in the group looks very regal when she's throwing up in the street. Later, the comment was made that "if you went to some fairytale witch's hut in the woods, but it was run by hipsters, it would look like this."
And finally...
9. A very drunk group of people -- the men in suits and the women in cocktail dresses -- staggering down the street. One of the men hoisted one of the women over his shoulder and continued on his way with her head wagging limply at just the right height to bump his ass with her nose.
I remarked to my boyfriend that it was unusual, yes, but hardly the most unusual thing we had seen. It wasn't even the most unusual thing we had seen today.
How about you? Seen anything interesting today?
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