But I don't want it!

[HappyFun Ball]

I am 13 weeks pregnant.. I don't want to be pregnant, I never planned on being pregnant, I was not going to carry the baby, but I figured that if it can power through a vasectomy AND a tubal ligation then it deserved to be here (The not carrying it was a freak reaction to a freak conception, please don't turn this into an abortion debate )

My ex husband and I engaged in some post divorce coitus and it somehow happened. (My ex and I get along very extremely well). Now, I had decided a long time ago that if I ever by some odd chance in Hell got pregnant again, I would not keep it.. In fact we had a pregnancy scare a couple of years ago which is why he got snipped.

Any hoo.. I told a guy I'm sorta dating about being pregnant and what my plans were (Basically so he can decide for himself if he wants to stick around).. I'm not sure if he is having a lapse of judgement or what.. But he keeps insisting that I keep it and we raise it together.. I just flat out don't want it, it's not a matter of having no baby daddy around.. I just can't do it again.

(I'm not really looking for advice, I'm just kinda venting)

[tropicsgoddess]

I'm not judging you, it's up to you what you want to do.

[AnaKhouri]

Wow, he must really want kids!

I see where you're coming from; sometimes when I think about possibly having another child I just feel...tired. It's hard, especially the first year. I'm glad you've made a choice you're happy with, and he'll just have to live with it.

[HappyFun Ball]

I failed to mentioned that the guy I am sort of dating is 12 years younger than me, still lives with his mom, doesn't have a job.. Why am I dating him you ask? Well, that is a very good question, and I will get back to you when I know the answer to that.

[ArcticChicken]

Why am I dating him you ask? Well, that is a very good question, and I will get back to you when I know the answer to that.

Very good sex? Given what you've told me, that's the only answer I can think of.

No insult intended, but he doesn't sound too smart, if he thinks he can raise a kid while unemployed and living with his mother.

[Bright_Star]

Follow your heart.

[HappyFun Ball]

Very good sex? Given what you've told me, that's the only answer I can think of.

Actually no.. He's quite small and hasn't discovered oral sex yet. He is good company, I will give him tha, very affectionate and we do get along when we see each other, but he is just not someone I would want to settle down with. No insult taken, I mean he surprised me by saying what he said.. It isn't his kid, and we haven't been seeing each other long.. And I don't see how he can even think about raising a child when he has to kiss his mom and aunts ass (He is totally whupped by them) Oh yeah, he is just sounding better and better..

I have found a rather nice adoptive couple that I like (After interveiwing more than a dozen)

I think the hardest part of this is telling family about my plans.

[Flying Grype]

Do what you need to do. How long have you been dating this guy? Think he'll be around long enough to raise your kid, or will he be gone by then? If he doesn't respect you on this what else will he not respect you on?

[trailerparkmedic]

50% of all pregnancies in the US are unplanned. Even if people don't readily admit it, you are far from alone.

I'm so happy that you've found a couple you like!

[Dave1982]

HFB, "congratulations" I guess? I wish nothing but the best for you and your family.

(The not carrying it was a freak reaction to a freak conception, please don't turn this into an abortion debate )

This. Several posts are getting dangerously close to the line, and we've had to edit one.

Do not let this turn into a discussion of abortion, even in an oblique or obscure way. Infractions will be issued if this thread goes south.

Now, back to your regularly scheduled thread.

[ArcticChicken]

Actually no.. He's quite small and hasn't discovered oral sex yet.

An open and frank discussion can work wonders with that.

When I first started dating my BF, the sex was acceptable, not more fun than masturbating, but at least his was attentive, unlike my last BF. Then we actually started talking about what we wanted, and now the sex is absolutely mind blowing, almost all the time. As a lovely side effect, masturbation is now much more fun, as well.

[MoonCat]

Do what's best for you. Only you can know what that is. Good luck and many hugs to you!

[Der Cute]

Oh boy. Life gave you a hell of a curveball, didn't it!
Hugs, you need strength for all this stuff. Whatever you want to do, I'll send you hugs and good thoughts.

[wolfie]

From 9/11 thread:

According to my OB, my youngest son was conceived on 9/11/01.

Might sound a bit ghoulish, but I hope your new baby is a girl.

[Seshat]

Got past a vasectomy AND a ligation? Wow.

(Not saying it can't happen - my mother conceived three children through tubes that should have been impossibly blocked up. My older brother was a miscarriage. I have a younger brother - now 40.)

If your boyfriend of the moment isn't going to be a forever-partner, and has no genetic link to the child, then I would strongly recommend doing whatever is right for you and the genetic father; and since you seem to be pursing adoption, for the child.

You say you've found a good adoptive family; go for that.