Jumbo Crayons

[Decker]

Oh boy. My first rant! How do I look? Is my hair okay? Is my fly zipped?

Anyway this is from a few months ago when I working at a large Office Supply Store. More specifically, this was around the "back to school" season. The story that I will always remember was the woman coming in looking for "Jumbo Crayons" for her child.
Now, this is understandable, especially for young children who are not to gentle with their art supplys. Large crayons are harder to break. So direct this woman over to Aisle 3, where we keep all our art stuff and give her a pack of Large Crayola Crayons.

Here comes the fun part
D: "Here you go Ma'am"
SC: "These arn't what I need."
D: "Well, these are Large Crayons."
SC: "The list says I need JUMBO crayons. These are Large Crayons."
D: "Well I'm sure that it doesn't really..."
SC: "And I need crayons."
D: "I...wait, what?"
SC: "These are washable crayons, the list says that I need crayons."
D: ... "Ma'am they ARE crayons. They're just WASHABLE crayons."
(By now my Co-worker is trying his best not to laugh his ass off....Ever notice that after say it alot of times, "crayons" starts sounding really weird?)
SC: "But I need Jumbo Crayons."
D: "Ma'am, trust me. These is fine. I'm sure the teacher will be okay with these"
Sc: "Are you sure?"
D: "Yes!"

Not as epic as some of the stories here, but it still tickles me to this day.

[auntiem]

I would have been so tempted to take out one of the crayons, cross out large and write "Jumbo" and say "there ya go".
Poor lady, I wonder if she was worried that if she didn't get the exact right thing all the other mothers would think she was a totally lame Mom.

[ahanix1989]

"But those Jumbo Crayons are Rose-Art! Everyone knows that Rose-Art is for people who can't afford Crayola!"

I've actually heard people comment that Rose-Art is the "ghetto" Crayola.... uhh, yeah. I'm sure.

[rvdammit]

Poor lady, I wonder if she was worried that if she didn't get the exact right thing all the other mothers would think she was a totally lame Mom.

There are occasional news pieces here about the "Mommy Mafia", which boil down to a clique of moms deciding who's cool and who's ostracised.

[NightAngel]

Actually, it's the teachers that get you. They make those lists and then if you don't get EXACTLY what they specify they jump you. They will also not allow the child to use anything except the EXACT item they specify and therefore your child gets an "Incomplete" on the day's assignments.

Oh, yes- I've been on that crazy ride more than once.

[Retail Associate]

When I was a wee, little girl my 4th grade teacher gave us a list of things we needed to bring to school. Included on that list was Kleenex. I dutifully brought my list home and gave it to my mother who proceeded to get every item on the list.

The next day I went to school, very happy to have everything that was required of me. When the teacher asked if I had brought Kleenex I very proudly handed her the box. She became irritated, grabbed me by the arm and pulled me to the front of the room.

Bitchy Teacher: "Children...CHILDREN! When I told you to bring Kleenex, this (holding up my box) IS NOT what I meant. You are to bring personal sized packages of tissues...not a large box of Kleenex. How are you supposed to keep a box this size in your desk?"

She went on and on, while all the time I'm standing there completely horrified that she forced me to be belittled like that in front of the whole class. I cried the rest of the day and I hated school from that point on.

Everybody say "Awwwwww!"

[Worker-Intellectual]

Actually, it's the teachers that get you. They make those lists and then if you don't get EXACTLY what they specify they jump you. They will also not allow the child to use anything except the EXACT item they specify and therefore your child gets an "Incomplete" on the day's assignments.

Oh, yes- I've been on that crazy ride more than once.

Are these teachers getting money from Crayola or something?

[NightAngel]

Oh, it's not just crayons- it's anything on their list.

If they say your child must have an orange folder with purple polka dots and all you can find is a purple folder with orange polka dots they won't accept assignments turned in in that folder because it isn't what they specified.

If they say Eagle brand #2 pencils your kid had better show up with Eagle brand.
If they say a 2.5 oz bottle of Elmer's Glue your kid better not show up with a 3 oz bottle of Elmer's Glue.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Oh, I can see already I am going to have a rough, stress-filled life for several years already.

And I can assure you some teachers probably are, too.

NightAngel, who is teaching your kids? Mr. Monk?

[ArenaBoy]

I hated that in school. I have a strange feeling that it's a case of perfectionism with some or there is some major marketing ploy behind this or both.

[Tanasi]

I am so so glad that my kid's school provides all their school supplies, then again they should for $8K a yardape.

[MystyGlyttyr]

"But those Jumbo Crayons are Rose-Art! Everyone knows that Rose-Art is for people who can't afford Crayola!"

I've actually heard people comment that Rose-Art is the "ghetto" Crayola.... uhh, yeah. I'm sure.

I actually like Rose-Art better. They're smoother, softer, and they taste better.

Er...I mean...uh...moving on. *cough*

Every back-to-school season, we wind up typing in supply lists for various schools, and some of these people specify their supplies right down to the bleeding serial numbers. It's because they want everyone to have completely uniform supplies because if anyone has something different, they might have something "better" and then other students will feel "bad" because of it, and lord knows the widdle kiddums can't get their feewings huwt.

[BrightEyedKitty]

Bitchy Teacher: "Children...CHILDREN! When I told you to bring Kleenex, this (holding up my box) IS NOT what I meant. You are to bring personal sized packages of tissues...not a large box of Kleenex. How are you supposed to keep a box this size in your desk?"

Was her name Mrs. Stevens? :P

[NightAngel]

NightAngel, who is teaching your kids? Mr. Monk?

Welcome to the public school system.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I actually like Rose-Art better. They're smoother, softer, and they taste better.

Er...I mean...uh...moving on. *cough*

I feel the same way about paste. Love that minty fresh feeling! As opposed to plain ol' Elmer's glue, which smells and tastes like feet...

Ummm...cough cough....moving right along:


Having to deal with parents and their rugrats and their school supply lists, I notice now that many teachers are requiring students to color-code their folders and notebooks.

For example, red folder and red notebook for math class, blue folder and blue notebook for English, green for Science, etc.

I sometimes notice orange being mentioned as one of the color codes for certain classes. Orange folders are not hard to find, but I don't see too many orange notebooks out there.

Which makes me wonder, what happens if you bring an orange folder and, say, a Spongebob notebook to school? I imagine you then fail the third grade, and have to get a job cleaning septic tanks to support your drug habit...