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just about to the point of tears
Long story here....
So I've worked closely with a contracted coder for years now. This past year, he's gotten worse and worse about dependability, and has tried to hang over my head the fact that he has access to a rather large percentage of my websites and work.
Recently, I tried to expand to the local clienteles....and my first attempt to reach out was to the company that my husband works at. Big mistake.
I completed my part of the project back in May. Coder guy (we'll call him JO) promised the coding end would be done by end of June.
Like an idiot, I paid him upfront. He was having "financial difficulties", and to boot, refused to work further until I paid him the money. Red flag again. Being that he was a friend of mine, I figured I was being a Good Samaritan.
Fast forward to July. I bring up the lateness, and he tells me that he had ANOTHER project he was working on for someone else, that has bumped mine out of priority. I am upset, but he tells me that he may be sued if he doesn't get it done, so I cover for him with the client. And cover for him. And cover for him.
August. Still not done, and in fact, tells me that it'll be done end of this month "for sure". Of course, then he disappears, and whenever I bring up the project, he flips out, tells me I'm being a *itch, and blocks me on all communication fronts. He always, ALWAYS unblocks me a day or two later, apologizes, and promises to work on the project. My husband at this point has been hearing it from his bosses, about how he should've warned them about this.
When one of the company's client visits, they showed him a mockup of the site. The client was impressed, asked who did it. "One of our employee's wives, don't even bother though, they can't meet a deadline ever. Just find someone else." That hurt. A lot.
It's now October, and he'd given me and the client a deadline of the 19th. A week before the deadline, he claimed he was moving to a new home, and that "definitely" it'd be done by the 31st. I was so frustrated at this point that I flat out gave the client his contact information and said "here, you ride his case over it, he's not listening to me". Turns out, he refuses to answer the client's emails or phone calls. Great.
Tonight, was it. I brought it up, and he completely, completely chewed me out. Told me that it was "my fault" he couldn't meet the new deadline because I gave him a new project to work on the side. I pointed out it was a 2 day project, and that I didn't get it, HE did. He got the client, and told me that he really needed the money, so he was going to do their job, and this current one, and that he'd be fine. I said sure, but that then I would be holding ALL other projects until the main one is done. Fine.
I guess he wasn't okay with it, because it turns out he's been going to other people on the side for more work, because "I don't have anything for him anymore" and am being a "backstabbing *itch" because of that. And guess what's happened to our big project?
I asked him for the files, told him I was going to hire someone else to finish it, and he lost it. Big time lost it. Refused to give them over flat out. I pointed out that hey, I own the files, I've paid you for them.
He won't give me the files now unless I send him a document that, and his quote here, "relieves me of all liability in the project and states that I do not need to refund any monies paid to me in regards to this project." He then informed me that until I do so, he will not be working at all on the project. But if I want him to finish? He'd better have as much time as he "damn well pleases" to finish it.
I have had it. I got him into this job in the first place. I've advanced him money countless times to help him cover birthday purchases, rent, bills, etc etc. I've gotten him into contact with several big clients that he now relies upon for his income. I've been his shoulder to cry on when he went through a divorce, when his life was in turmoil, and when he ended up in the hospital. When I heard he was low on cash and hungry, I'd hop online and order food to be delivered to his home. And this....this is how I've been treated as payment.
So my title is wrong. I'm past the point of tears. I've cried several times while typing this, it hurts so much. He used to be a good friend of mine, but now I wish I'd never even known him.
I've asked my husband if he doesn't mind letting me go to his work tomorrow. I'm going to be completely honest with them, and just tell them all that's going on. At this point, I know everything's coming out of my pocket, I just hope it doesn't end up costing me more than what I made....
And I guess, tomorrow I'll be writing up this document and sending it over. My back's against a wall, if that's the only way I can get the files....then I guess that's that. He's destroyed our friendship and our business relationship, I hope he's happy. Actually, in his words, he "doesn't care at f***ing all"....
So I've worked closely with a contracted coder for years now. This past year, he's gotten worse and worse about dependability, and has tried to hang over my head the fact that he has access to a rather large percentage of my websites and work.
Recently, I tried to expand to the local clienteles....and my first attempt to reach out was to the company that my husband works at. Big mistake.
I completed my part of the project back in May. Coder guy (we'll call him JO) promised the coding end would be done by end of June.
Like an idiot, I paid him upfront. He was having "financial difficulties", and to boot, refused to work further until I paid him the money. Red flag again. Being that he was a friend of mine, I figured I was being a Good Samaritan.
Fast forward to July. I bring up the lateness, and he tells me that he had ANOTHER project he was working on for someone else, that has bumped mine out of priority. I am upset, but he tells me that he may be sued if he doesn't get it done, so I cover for him with the client. And cover for him. And cover for him.
August. Still not done, and in fact, tells me that it'll be done end of this month "for sure". Of course, then he disappears, and whenever I bring up the project, he flips out, tells me I'm being a *itch, and blocks me on all communication fronts. He always, ALWAYS unblocks me a day or two later, apologizes, and promises to work on the project. My husband at this point has been hearing it from his bosses, about how he should've warned them about this.
When one of the company's client visits, they showed him a mockup of the site. The client was impressed, asked who did it. "One of our employee's wives, don't even bother though, they can't meet a deadline ever. Just find someone else." That hurt. A lot.
It's now October, and he'd given me and the client a deadline of the 19th. A week before the deadline, he claimed he was moving to a new home, and that "definitely" it'd be done by the 31st. I was so frustrated at this point that I flat out gave the client his contact information and said "here, you ride his case over it, he's not listening to me". Turns out, he refuses to answer the client's emails or phone calls. Great.
Tonight, was it. I brought it up, and he completely, completely chewed me out. Told me that it was "my fault" he couldn't meet the new deadline because I gave him a new project to work on the side. I pointed out it was a 2 day project, and that I didn't get it, HE did. He got the client, and told me that he really needed the money, so he was going to do their job, and this current one, and that he'd be fine. I said sure, but that then I would be holding ALL other projects until the main one is done. Fine.
I guess he wasn't okay with it, because it turns out he's been going to other people on the side for more work, because "I don't have anything for him anymore" and am being a "backstabbing *itch" because of that. And guess what's happened to our big project?
I asked him for the files, told him I was going to hire someone else to finish it, and he lost it. Big time lost it. Refused to give them over flat out. I pointed out that hey, I own the files, I've paid you for them.
He won't give me the files now unless I send him a document that, and his quote here, "relieves me of all liability in the project and states that I do not need to refund any monies paid to me in regards to this project." He then informed me that until I do so, he will not be working at all on the project. But if I want him to finish? He'd better have as much time as he "damn well pleases" to finish it.
I have had it. I got him into this job in the first place. I've advanced him money countless times to help him cover birthday purchases, rent, bills, etc etc. I've gotten him into contact with several big clients that he now relies upon for his income. I've been his shoulder to cry on when he went through a divorce, when his life was in turmoil, and when he ended up in the hospital. When I heard he was low on cash and hungry, I'd hop online and order food to be delivered to his home. And this....this is how I've been treated as payment.
So my title is wrong. I'm past the point of tears. I've cried several times while typing this, it hurts so much. He used to be a good friend of mine, but now I wish I'd never even known him.
I've asked my husband if he doesn't mind letting me go to his work tomorrow. I'm going to be completely honest with them, and just tell them all that's going on. At this point, I know everything's coming out of my pocket, I just hope it doesn't end up costing me more than what I made....
And I guess, tomorrow I'll be writing up this document and sending it over. My back's against a wall, if that's the only way I can get the files....then I guess that's that. He's destroyed our friendship and our business relationship, I hope he's happy. Actually, in his words, he "doesn't care at f***ing all"....
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