That's not what I meant.

[LillFilly]

What should I have done? What should I do now?

One of the young female cleaners (18-20) came in to get her radio today wearing a hijab. I recognized it, and was surprised because I'd never seen her wear it before and the rest of her family who works with us definitely do not practice that faith. Anyway, she was also wearing a big sweater, and it was a beautiful day out. I asked her 'how can you be cold?' She kind of looked shocked, went over to her boss and started complaining about how she "knew" people were going to crack jokes about her religious choice, etc, etc, and told me that she was going to be wearing this from now on because she was being more devout. I told her I knew what it was, but I was just making conversation about the weather and how could she be cold. She didn't seem to believe me and kept going on and on about how it was her choice of religious expression, etc. etc. I told her I completely understood and that it was her right, and if anyone gave her trouble or made off-color comments while she was working to let us know because we wouldn't tolerate it. She was still pretty frosty to me.

I don't suppose there's anything I could have ended up saying that she wouldn't have taken the wrong way, and I wonder if she's going to be complaining about people making comments. Yes, people may very well comment and I suppose they have a right to. I hope she just isn't doing this for attention or to pick fights with anyone. I hope she's not using it to protect her job either, because she's been on thiiiin ice lately, and I could see her using the excuse that she can't be fired because she's X religion.

Sigh. This is the 2nd time I've been accused of crap like this. I suppose she'll complain if I just don't talk to her either.

[Teskeria]

It may be a combo of 1. trying to protect her job and 2. a new significant other in her life that is more religious than her and she wants to impress him/her (wish we had a neutral gender descriptor in English)

[rose_metal_nz]

o.O sounds like you did fine to me. Either she mis-heard your original comment (maybe heard "cold" as "god" or something???) or she's just touchy enough about it that she's making her own problems.

[Food Lady]

You were referring to her sweater, not her hijab. Sounds like she's looking for arguments.

[Hanzoku]

She sounds ultra-defensive about it. My advice would be to treat her like normal and don't comment on what she wears. If she starts turning everything into an argument, talk to your boss and try to avoid dealing with her.

[Seshat]

All I can recommend is that you should have said 'I was referring to the sweater'.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Sounds like she WAS doing for attention, if you commented about the weather and she turned it into an attack on her faith.

She probably left the house that morning all ready to have to defend herself and nobody said anything to her whatsoever. So she had to grasp at farts in the wind to give herself an excuse to unload the little speech she'd so carefully rehearsed.

[Raveni]

She probably left the house that morning all ready to have to defend herself and nobody said anything to her whatsoever

Or, she already had to defend herself several times, and was just overly sensitive by the time she got to you...

[Pagan]

That....is quite a leap. I probably, after I picked my jaw up, would've asked her, "How did you get to that from what I said?"

So she had to grasp at farts in the wind

Ok, that goes right next to my grandfather's "Finger up your butt and your mind in Arkansas"!

[Marszenka]

My guess is this:

Girl decided that she was going to be more devout in her faith. Props to her. However, the decision came rather late at night/at a time when money was tight, and the only long-sleeved top she had in her closet happened to be a sweater. She's miserably uncomfortable and cranky by the time she gets to work, and has had plenty of stares/comments already, and when you say something she misinterprets completely snaps. (I am fairly certain that Islamic dress code calls for covered arms and legs to a certain point).

I could understand that. People make sharp comments when they're irritated already; it would make sense. My problem is that she wouldn't let you explain yourself or apologize, which makes me think that she IS looking for trouble. Maybe get this incident in writing and give it to people who need to know to cover your butt in case she tries something else.

And if this is the 2nd time you've been accused of something like this....maybe stop making comments. Your coworkers sound difficult. :/

[LillFilly]

And if this is the 2nd time you've been accused of something like this....maybe stop making comments. Your coworkers sound difficult. :/

Yes, the first time was I was recording store opening times; we have to do this every day, so the office knows who opens late, which violates the lease. One store was chronically late, but so were a few others. But the daughter of the owner of this store accused me of going after them because they are from Country X, I must not like their skin tone, etc. She had me in tears because I was afraid for my job. My boss, luckily, told me how they always use excuses like this when they violate their lease and went and had a 'come to Jesus' moment with them

[dalesys]

... had a 'come to Jesus' moment with them

Could that be a 'come to the mountain' moment?

[wolfie]

My boss, luckily, told me how they always use excuses like this when they violate their lease and went and had a 'come to Jesus' moment with them

Considering this person is flying off the handle at anything that can be (mis)interpreted as a comment on their (non-Christian) faith, I'd avoid using terms like "come to Jesus moment".