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I Was Wrong. And I'm Glad I Was
So after my world fell apart and my marriage crashed and burned, I didn't know what to do. And when it became evident that my suspicions were correct and I'd been cheated on, I was even more devastated. A mere 5 months ago I swore I was done with relationships. I could never ever face that kind of heartbreak again, and would never even consider taking a chance on love. I was getting my life on track, things were going well, I knew I'd see my kids again when this was all over, I would be fine on my own. I promised myself I'd never take that kind of a risk again with my heart.
Then I met him in an MMO I play. He's in my guild, we started running together because we were about the same level anyway and we chatted a lot. One of my coworkers is our guild leader, he added him after they were in a party together and found out he's also a corrections officer. And then he started flirting with me and I discovered I liked that very much, and I flirted back with him. I didn't want him to feel deceived, so I told him all about me. He's a straight man and still considers himself one. He accepts me as I am and the flirting continued. We started running together more and more and someone even observed that the more I talked to him and ran with him, the more he stayed in the game because he didn't get bored and go do something else. One night last month he told me he was going to have a glass of wine and I asked him "white or red?" He said white, so I opened a bottle of white wine I've had laying around for a few years and had a glass with him. It was nice. He was nice.
The other day, I couldn't stand it anymore. I talked to one of my very good friends in guild, I told her I really really liked him but didn't know how much he liked me, but I was fairly certain he did. She said, "He likes you, trust me." I said, "Why, did he say something?" And she said, "Oh no. Nonono. I'm not telling. All I'll say is go with your instincts." And my instincts told me to go for it. I told him how I feel about him, how he makes me feel. And he confirmed that he feels the same way about me. We talked for hours. He took today off from work because he's working a double shift tomorrow and if he didn't take the day off he wouldn't see me again until Saturday night. I told him he didn't have to do that for me, and he said he wanted to (they get a set number of "free" sick days every 9 months out there). So, regardless of the fact that he's 1500 miles away from me, today I am officially declaring it:
I have a boyfriend. I'm in a relationship again and it feels great.
I told him today that he made me break my promise to myself, but I'm glad he did. He said he's glad too.
Le sigh.....
Then I met him in an MMO I play. He's in my guild, we started running together because we were about the same level anyway and we chatted a lot. One of my coworkers is our guild leader, he added him after they were in a party together and found out he's also a corrections officer. And then he started flirting with me and I discovered I liked that very much, and I flirted back with him. I didn't want him to feel deceived, so I told him all about me. He's a straight man and still considers himself one. He accepts me as I am and the flirting continued. We started running together more and more and someone even observed that the more I talked to him and ran with him, the more he stayed in the game because he didn't get bored and go do something else. One night last month he told me he was going to have a glass of wine and I asked him "white or red?" He said white, so I opened a bottle of white wine I've had laying around for a few years and had a glass with him. It was nice. He was nice.
The other day, I couldn't stand it anymore. I talked to one of my very good friends in guild, I told her I really really liked him but didn't know how much he liked me, but I was fairly certain he did. She said, "He likes you, trust me." I said, "Why, did he say something?" And she said, "Oh no. Nonono. I'm not telling. All I'll say is go with your instincts." And my instincts told me to go for it. I told him how I feel about him, how he makes me feel. And he confirmed that he feels the same way about me. We talked for hours. He took today off from work because he's working a double shift tomorrow and if he didn't take the day off he wouldn't see me again until Saturday night. I told him he didn't have to do that for me, and he said he wanted to (they get a set number of "free" sick days every 9 months out there). So, regardless of the fact that he's 1500 miles away from me, today I am officially declaring it:
I have a boyfriend. I'm in a relationship again and it feels great.
I told him today that he made me break my promise to myself, but I'm glad he did. He said he's glad too.
Le sigh.....
Being loved is a great feeling.
He is my Black Dragon (and yes, a good one) strong, protective, the guardian. I am his Silver Dragon, always by his side, shining for him, cherishing him.
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