I hate this month so hard.

[Amethyst Hunter]

In 3 weeks, I have:

- Lost 6 teeth
- Been bitten by a stray cat and had to make an ER run just to be safe (it was looking questionable there, but appears to be healing all right now)
- The heating unit in my house is borked, as is the hot water heater for my shower (Time to call the landlord)
- I lost a perfectly good ice pack cover due to it somehow getting stuck in the ice cube maker, and the only way I could get it out was to cut the thing up, thereby ruining it
- Last night I not only paper-cutted my finger at work, afterwards I somehow managed to cut my other hand a good one with my own damn scissors while cutting my hair.

And now the worst appears to be with my poor computer. I think it may not be long for this world. ;_; Only access I have now is through my library, and looks to be so indefinitely.

The poor thing is 8 years old and it's been through a lot. It's had its power unit replaced in 2006 (after a surge shorted it out), been transported to Florida and Illinois and back again, had a virus crash in 2008... Now it appears, according to a coworker's husband, that its running scandisk by itself on startup is *not* a good thing. (I suspect it did that because it was taking too long to shut down the other night, so I unplugged it while it was in the middle of supposedly updating some Windows software, because otherwise the times that it auto-runs scandisk on its own during startup are far and few between.) As it is, it takes me a good half-hour or better just to update my antivirus stuff before I venture online. (I was going to run a defrag, but that's on hold now)

Granted, I don't know how credible coworker's husband's computer credentials are, but I'm an idiot when it comes to this stuff, so I wouldn't be terribly surprised if what he said was true or close to it, given the way this fucking month has been going.

So basically, I need a new computer. And I hope to God I can back up all my files - pictures, fanarts (most of which are irreplacable, as many are from Japanese sites which are probably now defunct), fanfic (also irreplacable as I do most of my writing on the computer, rather than by hand - I'm impatient like that), the like - in time. I was going to buy one of those portable hard drives one of these days, but then that got shoved to the back of my mind with all the other detritus of my pathetic life. Well, now it's an emergency. I do have a couple of stick drives, but I'm not sure how up-to-date they all are and the biggest one is only 8 GB. (I have a TON of stuff, mostly fandom-related, that I've collected over the years.) And I don't dare turn on my computer again until I've got the means to copy everything to one (or more) source(s).

Given that I'm already probably gazillions of dollars in debt (I'm slowly resigning myself to being poor for the rest of my life) - the other night I had a nightmare about getting the ER bill, and I kept seeing it go up from like $6K to 11K, to 25K - (incidentally, they still haven't sent it to me yet, I wonder when that little bomb will show up?) this is yet another expense I don't need and can't afford but really have to deal with.

So, yeah. I'm fucked. I think, aside from family/friends, my cats, fandom, and my general being a chickenshit, the only other reason I stick around is because I must be some kind of masochist waiting to see how much deeper the pit gets.

I can't take this shit anymore. I can't. I just want the universe to fuck off and leave me alone if it's not going to be nice to me. I just want to sit in my little house and write my fanfic and chat about fandom and fun stuff and NOT BE FUCKING BOTHERED by bullshit. I swear, I must have been a puppy-killer in a previous life.

*goes to cry some more* 2011 YOU SUCK.

[Seraph]

<hugs>

Its a small thing, but uh.....here's a couple free alternatives to buying a hard drive right off. http://www.adrive.com/
http://explore.live.com/skydrive

[Amethyst Hunter]

Thanks for the resources. I'll keep that in mind as one of my backups.

Also forgot to mention yesterday that the CD player in my car is broken. Since it's a parts-specific vehicle (that is, you can't replace something in it with a cheaper version), that means I have to go all the hell way to the dealership to have it fixed, and it won't be cheap. We're talking probably in the neighborhood of $500. (I had to do the same thing with a cracked headlight earlier this year.)

I WISH I were making this shit up. You have no idea how much.

[Seraph]

I've got a ghetto fix for that, which we used when the Honda's CD player toasted.

If you have cheapy computer/standalone speakers, grab em. Anything that has a headphone jack.

Got an mp3 player? grab it too. Heck, portable CD player works too.

Plug in speakers to jack. Place on passenger front seat, and bam. MUSIC!!

...or you could duct tape it all to your dashboard. if you wanted to get even more redneck, LOL.

[Der Cute]

crutchfield.com; you can put your make/model stuff in and see what fits you. And you get good customer service and instructions - just go see.

As for the ER shit. If you are under the poverty line (fed wise) you are probably eligible for assistance. If you went under your insurance, you'll have a co-pay. But...plain visit, no insurance?
You wait til you get your bill. Open it, hyperventilate, chug a beer THEN call the billing office. Sweety, my gallbladder was 29THOUSAND DOLLARS. I went to ER, got fixed stayed over night..yeah. I applied for assistance and got it.
Call the billing office. It's their JOB to help you. You ask for an application for reduced payment. Then, when you get it, you fill out the form, include proof you're broke as hell, (I suggest 6 months back; possibly a tax return, follow instructions) and send it in. Mine took about 2 months to get processed.
All I did was call every 3 weeks and ask if it's been worked on. Once it was, mail was sent to me stating that all debt has been wiped from The Day of ER Visit to Now (any related repeat visits were included.) Keep that letter.

You will be ok. I promise. These are the "I can't fucking fix it right now so it's hanging over my head goddammit" issues. Those suck, because..well, you can't immediately fix it.

[Amethyst Hunter]

As for the ER shit. If you are under the poverty line (fed wise) you are probably eligible for assistance. If you went under your insurance, you'll have a co-pay. But...plain visit, no insurance?

Oh yah, I've applied for assistance (and got some). So far I have a foodstamp card, and I'm working on getting electrical bill assistance. That will be some nice breathing room, for sure.

You wait til you get your bill. Open it, hyperventilate, chug a beer THEN call the billing office.

Still haven't gotten one. I'm surprised that bomb hasn't hit yet, but maybe it just takes a while to process? (Or maybe I'll have something sucky to look forward to come New Year's. Yay.)

You will be ok. I promise.

I haven't been ok for a long time...and I don't think I'm going to be. :/ Long story. Maybe after this weekend (no library access) I might try to write out my epiphany that I had last week.