"I gonna gone and got too much electricity in me."

[Mango]

.
I Gonna Gone and Got

SC: "I like know about electricity, you know? Like sometimes when I'm gonna go watch TV, and I'm gonna use my remote? It's gonna come up all static on the display, or sometimes it's gonna shut down completely. That's because of electricity. Or sometimes when I'm gonna stand in an electric place, you can just see the electricity around me! Or I go to my computer and I'm just gonna put my hand over it and it's gonna start doing crazy things because I gonna gone and got too much electricity or whatever in me. I know this."

I, like, know about mental illness. Not much mind you, but I know more about mental illness than you know about electricity.



A Close Call

SC: "I'm from The Association of Alternate Energies."
Me: "...ok?"
SC: "I can measure your full auric new-age field."
Me: "..."
SC: "You're in a very clear space."

Whew! That's sure a good thing!1 Imagine if one of my customers told me I wasn't in a very clear space!2 Why, I would be so distressed, that I wasn't in a very clear space, that I couldn't possibly go on.3 Oh, it's such a relief to know that I'm in a very clear space!4 Indeed I have no idea how I've made it through life without having measured my full auric new-age field.5

1,2,3,4,5: Sarcasm.



A Terrible Mistake

SC: "I ran into this guy today. But, not with my car. I mean I happened to meet him."

In fact, I always have been curious about that idiom. Tragically, you sir have realized the literal meaning of the words you have spoken mere moments too late. The police are already on their way.



So helpful

SC: "Please tell him that Albert Rakhmelevich called. That's A-L-B-E-R-T, and then Rakhmelevich."

By this statement I can only imagine that you too do not have any idea how to spell your last name.



I hope it doesn't catch a cold.

SC: "... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..." [click]

You, whoever you are, have just breathed on our voicemail for exactly 47 seconds. I realize curiosity didn't go as planned for the cat, but I have to know what your strategic plan behind this really is. Though, since that is in fact ALL you did, and you blocked your Caller ID, I have no idea who you are. I may be forced to live with this curiosity for the rest of my life.



Thank you, Amazing Kreskin!

SC: "Over the next three or four years, we will see what is going to happen in the future."

Logic so inimitable...so stunning...just how DO you come up with it?



Hate. Hate. HATE.

SC: "May I please speak to Martha?"
Me: "Martha is not here today. I would be happy to help you, or take a message."
SC: "Will Martha be in on Wednesday?"
Me: "I'm afraid she doesn't leave her schedule with me so I don't know when she'll be working, but if I take a message, she'll call you at her earliest opportunity."
SC: "Does Martha work in the mornings or the afternoons?"
Me: "Well, today she was here until 3:30, but her schedule changes from week to week so I don't really know about next week."
SC: "Are you going to be there on Wednesday?"
Me: "Yes, I work every day."
SC: "But when does Martha work if you work every day!?"
Me: "Sometimes we work at the same time. I'd certainly be happy to take a message and advise her that you called, the moment she arrives."
SC: "When would that be?"
Me: "Well, she doesn't leave her schedule with me, so I don't know when she is going to be here. All I can promise is I will give her the message to call you as soon as she gets here. It should be in the next day or two."
SC: "Okay, please have her call me."
Me: "Certainly, sir. May I ha--"
SC: "Good-bye."
Me: "Waitdonthangupyetwhatsyournameandnum--"
SC: [click]




__________________
What's a Light Fandango?

[Mytical]

Lots of special callers there..but I know the problem on that last one. You forgot to take your psychic medication didn't you? Come on..admit it..it happens to us all..now don't you skip another dose..you need all your mind reading powers..wait..don't they have to HAVE a mind first..never mind..carry on.

[pitmonkey]

electric guy: there are people that produce a static charge big enough that they destroy watches. I have a neighbor that can not ware a watch because of this. Also you have to be careful touching her or you might get a bad static shock.

[AccountingDrone]

electric guy: there are people that produce a static charge big enough that they destroy watches. I have a neighbor that can not ware a watch because of this. Also you have to be careful touching her or you might get a bad static shock.

I am like that, I can generally get a watch to fry in under a month of constant wearing it. Rob's current gshock he got from me after I made it decide to run backwards. He took it and removed the battery, degaussed it or something, put it back together and put the battery back and it runs mostly ok now.

I though for a sec I was reading a GK post until I scrolled back and saw it wasn't. Or did Mango start working with GK and get his overflow calls?

[Crossbow]

Talk about special callers.

And is it bad that the first thing that I noticed was that the "headdesk" smilies were banging their faces exactly in time to the song I was just listening to? I needed that this morning. Thanks.

[seigus]

I, too, am one of those people who will ruin a watch within a month simply by wearing it. Without fail.

[thehuckster]

Thank you, Amazing Kreskin!

SC: "Over the next three or four years, we will see what is going to happen in the future."

Logic so inimitable...so stunning...just how DO you come up with it?

...wait, if you know we will know what will happen in the future four years from now... doesn't that mean we already know today what will happen in the future? Or... *head explodes*

electric guy: there are people that produce a static charge big enough that they destroy watches. I have a neighbor that can not ware a watch because of this. Also you have to be careful touching her or you might get a bad static shock.

I've known people who seem to mistake subtle vibrations with electric current flowing through them. It's possible the customer is putting his/her hand on the computer, feeling the vibration of the case fan, and assuming it's electricity.

Afterall, static electricity can't account for standing in an "electric place" and seeing electricity all around you.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Thank you, Amazing Kreskin!

SC: "Over the next three or four years, we will see what is going to happen in the future."

Logic so inimitable...so stunning...just how DO you come up with it?

I'm so sorry about that one getting loose . . . now we know what Butt-Head (our village idiot) does on his days off (other than mowing the lawn at the local nudist resort.)

This is the same guy, who BTW, once commented when we were watching the wind blowing outside "The wind ain't blowing . . .the trees are MOVING."

No one can even attempt to figure out that level of logic without their brain BSOD'ing.

Here we thought it was just screwdrivers we needed to keep him away from. I guess we'll have to try to keep him away from the phones too.

[Seshat]

As for the last one: gee, maybe Martha doesn't WANT you knowing when she works.

Or maybe it's just common sense not to give that kind of information out.

[MoonCat]

So helpful

SC: "Please tell him that Albert Rakhmelevich called. That's A-L-B-E-R-T, and then Rakhmelevich."

By this statement I can only imagine that you too do not have any idea how to spell your last name.

I've had people like this on the phone at work. I think it's fair if you just spell their name phonetically. Hey, they can't be bothered to spell it, I'll spell it any way I want...

[Buglady]

I, too, am one of those people who will ruin a watch within a month simply by wearing it. Without fail.

Me too... only I don't do it with electricity; mine usually involve concrete floors and suchlike... (OK, I thought it was funny. I'll get my coat).

[Sarlon]

.
I Gonna Gone and Got

SC: "I like know about electricity, you know? Like sometimes when I'm gonna go watch TV, and I'm gonna use my remote? It's gonna come up all static on the display, or sometimes it's gonna shut down completely. That's because of electricity. Or sometimes when I'm gonna stand in an electric place, you can just see the electricity around me! Or I go to my computer and I'm just gonna put my hand over it and it's gonna start doing crazy things because I gonna gone and got too much electricity or whatever in me. I know this."

I, like, know about mental illness. Not much mind you, but I know more about mental illness than you know about electricity.

there is some truth to this...since it happens to me too...I've fried electronics with no indication that anything was ever wrong with it. (confused alot of IT guys before it was deemed I'm never allowed into a server room, own a laptop, or handle complex electrical items)

oh and they who claimed a month before you fried a watch? try 3 days and the interior workings had disolved.

[protege]

This is the same guy, who BTW, once commented when we were watching the wind blowing outside "The wind ain't blowing . . .the trees are MOVING."

I've said it before... Crack does *NOT* smoke itself.

[PepperElf]

SC: "May I please speak to Martha?"

I'm thinking he wasn't getting the real point... no one's going to tell him when Martha is in next ... cos you never know, he may be the former Prime Minister Harold Saxton and plotting out her schedule so he can abduct her while he's entering the building or something like that.

[Jay 2K Winger]

I'm thinking he wasn't getting the real point... no one's going to tell him when Martha is in next ... cos you never know, he may be the former Prime Minister Harold Saxton and plotting out her schedule so he can abduct her while he's entering the building or something like that.

It's SAXON. Not Saxton.





...VOTE SAXON....