That IS my final answer. Why don't you try listening to it?

[RealUnimportant]

I've had my fill of them today; you know the type; they ask a question, don't listen to the answer because it doesn't fit with their version of reality, & refuse to acknowledge correction.

Normally it's something simple, like "is this my train?" Setting aside the obvious sarcastic answer, 9 times out of 10 the train now in the station is not the one that Curious George needs to catch, and yet they'll still end up sprinting off... And of course, if they do manage to get on this train & then find their way back later (mercifully few manage this) it's MY fault they nearly killed themselves & then ended up arriving late because they ended up travelling 10 miles in the opposite direction before realising their own stupidity.

Another related classic is "which platform is it?" We have just 2 platforms, and to keep things as idiot-proof as possible I tend to answer "this side" and "the far side" as to me this is the most basic way of differentiating where to go; platform numbering does usually follow a basic rule but we're ass-backwards here for historical reasons, & I don't expect anyone who doesn't work on the railways to even know there is a rule, let alone how to apply it. I even tend to point* in the appropriate direction... I can't begin to count how many people get confused by this.

*Customers are surprisingly like dogs, except when you really want them to be - if you're pointing at something in front of their faces, they'll follow the direction of your finger clear across the room, yet when you want them to look over there they stare directly at your fingertip... Oh, and none of them understand the command "put it down!"

One of today's best examples of failing to listen was when someone asked me for a travelcard - that is, an all-access ticket to cover a specific area - for a smaller than usual area and just a single day. Now if you're travelling for a week, month, or even a year, then you can get this specific with your ticket's coverage - there's over 20 different combinations to choose from - but if you're only going to use it for one day then there's just 3 price brackets. When I first informed them their ticket wasn't available because it didn't exist, they asked for it again. I assumed they couldn't hear me (the mics here play up a lot) so I repeated myself louder. This time there was a slight flicker, but they still tried to ask for the same thing just with a slight rephrasing of the question. This time I picked up a pen & paper, and started writing it up as obviously there's some major failure in vocal communication going on. "Oh, I heard you; I just thought maybe you could work something out..."

But just now, while writing this up I had the winner for this week, if not the whole month. SuperMoron had bought the wrong ticket three days ago and wondered if I could change it. Now if it was a physical ticket then I could, for a fee, organise an exchange. If it's an e-ticket then you didn't buy it from us and we have no way to affect any amendments; there's even a full disclaimer on all the websites that sell them stating they're no-changeable, non-refundable, etc. "I'm sorry, I cannot do anything to change your ticket" apparently isn't unambiguous enough, and this gentleman I've never seen before & likely never will again (tourist but with flawless english, 1-way ticket) all but drops to his knees & begs me to do him a favour as a friend (almost a direct quote!)... "I'm sorry but I just do not have the capability; it's not that I don't wish to help, but that I am powerless to help." This managed to touch off the right nerve impulses for him to realise that "no" really did mean "no", and he slunk off ne'er to be seen again.

[Phantasmagoria]

I don't know where people leave their brains when they approach a train. I know exactly the kind of people you're talking about, they'll be the ones who, after asking you and going in the wrong direction, wander into the shop and ask some poor shop assistant "where do I change to get to X city?" and when they're told "I'm sorry, I don't know, I work in the shop. You need to ask one of the railway staff" will repond with "Ok, but if I change at Y Town then will I get to X city before 2pm? And which platform do I need to be on?" ....

I've also witnessed a man sprinting down the platform next to a moving train, jabbing at the door opening button, with the station staff in hot pursuit, ywlling at him to get away from the train before he got himself killed. He then turned round and screamed abuse at them when he reached the end of the platform.

You have my deepest sympathies.

[rose_metal_nz]

This time I picked up a pen & paper, and started writing it up as obviously there's some major failure in vocal communication going on. "Oh, I heard you; I just thought maybe you could work something out..."

Wow. Utter facepalm at that one. At least, I guess, they kinda got what you were saying....

[scruff]

I've had my fill of them today; you know the type; they ask a question, don't listen to the answer because it doesn't fit with their version of reality, & refuse to acknowledge correction.

I remember the time I worked for Regional Railways (NE). I'd get people asking "Is this the right train?" And they would be incapable of giving further useful info. It got to the point I'd say "It's the right train for me, as this is the train that is going to Manchester, and I want to go to Manchester. Where do you want to go to?"
And I'd get a glassy stare and the reply "me gran's house."

One of the staff nearly got the sack, after responding to "which train is going to Scunthorpe?" with
"Well, you see the train labelled 'Scunthorpe'?,
and the platform labelled "trains to Scunthorpe"?
And you heard the tannoy announce that this is the platform for trains to Scunthorpe? Well, they are all wrong, you need the train over there tha say's it's going to Scarborough.."
And the customer took the train to Scarborough.

[MoonCat]

I remember the time I worked for Regional Railways (NE). I'd get people asking "Is this the right train?" And they would be incapable of giving further useful info. It got to the point I'd say "It's the right train for me, as this is the train that is going to Manchester, and I want to go to Manchester. Where do you want to go to?"
And I'd get a glassy stare and the reply "me gran's house."

One of the staff nearly got the sack, after responding to "which train is going to Scunthorpe?" with
"Well, you see the train labelled 'Scunthorpe'?,
and the platform labelled "trains to Scunthorpe"?
And you heard the tannoy announce that this is the platform for trains to Scunthorpe? Well, they are all wrong, you need the train over there tha say's it's going to Scarborough.."
And the customer took the train to Scarborough.

Sadly, I could see a similar thing happening at my local Greyhound station. I once nearly missed a bus to a con because the idiot announcing the cities for my bus never mentioned the city I was going to, even though that bus actually was going there...

[mikoyan29]

For the past two years I have taken a major train trip out west. The first one was Ann Arbor - Chicago - Seattle - San Francisco - Chicago - Ann Arbor. Last year's was Ann Arbor - Chicago - Denver - San Francisco - LA - Chicago - Ann Arbor. I would have to say one of the coolest things about taking the train was hearing the conductor (or car attendent) rattle off the various cities. The other cool thing was hearing, "All Aboard". Such a throwback. But I do know at Chicago Union Station (and LA for that matter), you have to pay attention. This year I think is going to take me through B&O and NYC country.

[blas]

Absolutely nothing to do with trains, but you described nearly everyone I work with to a tee.

Don't like my answer, argue with me, or go ask someone else, and then someone else, and then someone else.

[RealUnimportant]

"Where do you want to go to?"
And I'd get a glassy stare and the reply "me gran's house."

FML, I am so SICK of people coming up & waving some shred of scrap paper(/court summons/prison letter/etc.) at me & asking "how do I get here?" Unless it has the name of the nearest station on there, I have no clue. Funnily enough no, our system does not let me route you to a postcode... The rails just aren't flexible enough! And while I do have limited access to the internet, it is a strict policy of every company I know of for us not to get into this kind of territory as it's too much of a time sink.

Respect to the co-worker who said what I think every time someone asks for any of our major destinations... So dangerous, yet so very satisfying!

I've also witnessed a man sprinting down the platform next to a moving train, jabbing at the door opening button

It's idiots like that which have caused the need for automatic doors on every train... The old slamdoor carriages could have lasted for a few more decades otherwise.

Don't like my answer, argue with me, or go ask someone else, and then someone else, and then someone else.

When we have both windows open, that'll happen at least 3 times a shift. No, I'm sorry, that's just not physically/technically possible with the systems we have. Why yes, you will get the exact same answer from my colleague; no, it has nothing to do with your ethnicity (we get this both ways, as 2/3rds of the time there's at least 1 black & 1 white member of staff on duty.)

[Shalom]

It's idiots like that which have caused the need for automatic doors on every train... The old slamdoor carriages could have lasted for a few more decades otherwise.

We've had automatic doors (well, centrally-controlled doors) on this side of the water since 1905. I remember being perplexed the first time I rode the London subway and found that the doors don't open until and unless you command them to...

Not all railroads adopted this feature immediately, of course. The Long Island Rail Road had manually operated doors unto the early fifties, as per the following incident:

Man from Douglaston tells how he didn't mind the night when the vestibule door came off in his hands. He jsut set it against the wall out of the way and got off. He did mind, though, the night the door wouldn't open at all and the train went wheep-wheep and got under way while he was struggling with it. He hiked it back from Little Neck. [0.6 miles east]

(On the other hand, we've never had the kind of carriages you did, with compartments accessible from the outside by their own doors. On such cars, it wouldn't make sense to have every door open at every station, particularly during the winter.)

And I just love the folks who if they don't like the answer you give them, ask the same question slightly rephrased. Sorry, the answer's not going to change. When I say your insurance isn't going to pay for that prescription, I mean exactly that, no matter what order the words in your sentence are.

[pageantmama]

Normally it's something simple, like "is this my train?" Setting aside the obvious sarcastic answer, 9 times out of 10 the train now in the station is not the one that Curious George needs to catch.

Lol, I just got finished watching the Curious George episode with the kids a few minutes ago where he was trying to get to the zoo and him and the Man in the Yellow Hat kept getting separated and George got on the train back to where they came from and they had to explain how the trains worked so he could get on the right one and get to the zoo. So anyway since I just saw that then came on here directly and read this I got quite a giggle out of this post

[RealUnimportant]

All major railways have centrally closed doors now, which are opened by buttons which don't operate until the driver releases a lock on arrival at each station; the slamdoor ones I mentioned are the ones you mention with a door to each compartment - realistically they are quite dodgy safety-wise but we used them for decades & the darwinian losses were minimal for most of that time. It's all down to paying attention, and too many people failed to do so both on the platform & within the carriage, so they had to go

The underground doors all work on central commands nowadays, although they still have the buttons - it's just to confuse tourists.