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Kid comes in to pick up his impounded Chevy Suburban. The usual excuses are put forth,
He didn't know he couldn't park there, despite the sign
He was only there for 4 minutes, despite the fact that we've had the car for half an hour
Nobody told him they'd tow him, see above
He was just visiting, irrelevant
He wasn't going to be there long, irrelevant, you will be assimilated
He was in the shower, irrelevant, but it did cause me to get a humorous image of him running out door in bathrobe and shower cap waving wet brush at tow truck
After all the options have been exhausted, we come to the payment stage, where I need the $115 for the tow in either cash, credit, debit or any combination thereof.
He hands me a card, I run it through the machine, it asks for sale amount, I enter $115, it makes the unhappy beep (tm) noise and informs me:
"Partial Payment $85.50, YES NO ?"
So, he doesn't have enough credit left to pay for the whole thing. I put the machine on the counter and show him that he's only got $80 left, does he want to charge that and come up with the difference some other way? No, he doesn't. So I hit the "NO" option, the machine says "REVERSING" and spits out a receipt that clearly says "Charge Reversal", I staple it to the paperwork while he calls a buddy down to pay for it with cold hard cash instead. They leave and I go on with business
About 2 hours later when this little transaction had nearly fallen into the memory hole in my brain where all things not worth recalling are inevitably dumped, like how to do long division, my blood type and who's behind the Secretary of State in the line of Presidential succession, something happens that got it a reprieve and knocked back to the front of the queue...
My phone rang, it was the police. The real ones, not the band.
The nice officer on the other end asks if we recently released a Black Suburban. Why yes we have, they seem happy with this and somewhat relieved that they "won't have to send a car down" to our garage. See, the kid is now claiming we stole $80 from him, and the way he relayed the story to the cops made it seem like we pulled him neck first over the counter and rifled through his wallet until we had extracted everything of value from it and then left him bleeding and toothless in the gutter outside. I explained he had tried to pay with a maxed-out credit card, the charge was reversed and it probably won't show up on his statement as reversed until the morning, if he still has problems he needs to talk to the office in the morning and they'll be more than happy to help since I'm not trained in doing anything other than pushing buttons on the machine. The officer agreed that that would put an end to it and he'd instruct them to talk to the office-lady (who the officer knew by first name, so I know I'm in the clear) in the mornin'.
So, issue resolved, back in line for your turn at the memory hole you useless factoids... oh, wait, what's this, a last-minute reprieve from the Governor?
Actually, it was a call from my folks at the garage, while I was on the phone with the cops, the kid has been burning up the answering machine, demanding that I call him back and they'd REALLY appreciate it if I did that since the constant ringing is getting on their nerves. (The way the phones are set up, after office hours, calls to the business number forward to my phone, if I'm talking to someone, they bounce back to the office machine where I can pick them up later)
I get the kids number relayed to me and try to call it... no answer, goes to voicemail. Wait 5 minutes, still voicemail. Lather, Rinse, Repeat, still voicemail.
Then it dawns on me, the reason I can't get though to HIM because he won't stop trying to get through to ME, my calls are bouncing to v-mail because he's constantly clogging the line hoping that he can eventually get something other than an answering machine...
Now my phone rings with the police, again, still the real ones and still not the band.
They'd like to know if I could please call this guy back, as he's also been calling them and demanding to speak to someone at the garage RIGHT NOW! and still wants to know why the police haven't done their duty and drug me out of the office and pulped me into unconsciousness with their nightsticks because I'm a theif! A thief who stole $80 from him for NO REASON WHATSOEVER!!!
I explain I've tried, but I keep getting voicemail. They agree the problem is he won't be patient for 1 second and wait for someone to call back and he keeps jamming both my line and the non-emergency line by hitting "redial". I give them the number direct to my phone (it has 2 lines, "My" line and the "company" line) and tell them to have him call me and I'll be happy to talk. Well, not happy, but I'll talk. Oh boy will I ever talk, I might invent a few new words while I'm at it. .....
A minute or so later, the phone rings, *Deep Breath* *Cue up "Eye of the Tiger"*
-Friendly Neighborhood Towing, Argabarga Speaking
-WHO????
-This is Argabarga
-And WHAT company is this?!
-This is Friendly Neighborhood Towing
-Good, I'm writing all this down, because you DRAINED MY SONS BANK ACCOUNT!
-Excuse me Sir? *yep, a supposed adult just sicced Daddykins on me*
-You took ALL MY SONS MONEY! And you WILL give it back!
-Okay, I'm a bit confused here, are you talking about the Black Suburban we released earlier?
-Yes, that was his! And you took $80 from him! I just checked his account and it's GONE! Now he doesn't have any money for groceries or gas, or books! How is he supposed to LIVE now?!
-He didn't have enough to pay the full $115 charge, so that fee was reversed. There's probably a delay of a couple hours, or maybe a full business day before that charge will be put through and credited back, I'm no expert on what the rules his bank has in place, but, if it doesn't get credited back, just talk to the office in the morning and they will be happy to take care of it.
-NO! You TOOK all my sons money! YOU DIDN'T REVERSE IT BECAUSE IT'S STILL GONE, AND YOU WILL GIVE IT BACK! I EXPECT A FULL REFUND TONIGHT!
-The charge has been reversed Sir, that's all I can do, as I said, you can talk to the office in the morning if you still have questions
-YOU STOLE MY SONS MONEY, and now you are REFUSING to give it back? Is that what I'm hearing?
-No Sir, I didn't take anything from him, he gave me a credit card, I tried to run it, it didn't have enough money, so the charge was reversed.
-It didn't have enough because YOU TOOK IT ALL! Am I going to have to call the POLICE?
-You already have Sir, they already talked to me about this
-So you admit you STOLE it?
-No Sir, I haven't stolen anything, you need to talk to the office in the morning if you have further questions.
-Sounds like you're running a SCAM to me! You just live to scam poor college students don't you? Because now, thanks to you, my son has NO MONEY, he has no way of even buying groceries now!
-Talk to the office in the morning Sir, I cannot help you any further
-Well, I'll just SUE you then! Do I have to call a lawyer?!
-Talk to the office, Sir, they'll be able to help you with that.
-I'm CALLING THE COPS!
-Talk to the office in the morning, Sir
-Okay, I guess I'll just have to sue you, what's your name so I can tell my lawyer?
-As I said, you need to talk to the office in the morning, Sir, they'll be happy to help
-NO! CALL YOUR MANAGER!
-He's not here right now, talk to the office in the morning
-What?! WELL THEN CALL THE OWNER!
-I have no way to call him, you'll need to talk to the office in the morning
-LOOK, YOU STOLE MY SONS MONEY AND YOU NEED TO GIVE IT BACK RIGHT NOW! DO I HAVE TO COME DOWN THERE OR SOMETHING?! YOU WILL GIVE THE $80 YOU STOLE BACK TO HIM RIGHT NOW SO HE HAS MONEY TO LIVE ON!
-We're really going in circles here Sir, I've already explained that you need to talk..
-WE'RE NOT GOING IN CIRCLES, YOU ARE RUNNING A SCAM!!!
Well, I tried, but he's pushed me to the Popeye point. I've had all I can stands, can't stands no more. Hey there little red "end call" button, how bout getting me outta this mess?
*Click*
Somehow, against all the odds, he didn't call back....
And now the memory of dealing with both him and his Son will be saved from the inky black void of the forgotten in my mind. Instead, they'll be placed on that special top shelf alongside the annals of other bizzare nincompoops I've dealt with where they'll hang like grotesque hunting trophies and occasionaly be dusted and brought down and passed around for a laugh at parties and the like. It's a humble life, but it's better than disappearing forever like just about everything I learned in 6th grade has, with the exception of how much it hurts to slip off wet monkey bars on the playground and take one of them in the crotch.
That memory shall live forever.
He didn't know he couldn't park there, despite the sign
He was only there for 4 minutes, despite the fact that we've had the car for half an hour
Nobody told him they'd tow him, see above
He was just visiting, irrelevant
He wasn't going to be there long, irrelevant, you will be assimilated
He was in the shower, irrelevant, but it did cause me to get a humorous image of him running out door in bathrobe and shower cap waving wet brush at tow truck
After all the options have been exhausted, we come to the payment stage, where I need the $115 for the tow in either cash, credit, debit or any combination thereof.
He hands me a card, I run it through the machine, it asks for sale amount, I enter $115, it makes the unhappy beep (tm) noise and informs me:
"Partial Payment $85.50, YES NO ?"
So, he doesn't have enough credit left to pay for the whole thing. I put the machine on the counter and show him that he's only got $80 left, does he want to charge that and come up with the difference some other way? No, he doesn't. So I hit the "NO" option, the machine says "REVERSING" and spits out a receipt that clearly says "Charge Reversal", I staple it to the paperwork while he calls a buddy down to pay for it with cold hard cash instead. They leave and I go on with business
About 2 hours later when this little transaction had nearly fallen into the memory hole in my brain where all things not worth recalling are inevitably dumped, like how to do long division, my blood type and who's behind the Secretary of State in the line of Presidential succession, something happens that got it a reprieve and knocked back to the front of the queue...
My phone rang, it was the police. The real ones, not the band.
The nice officer on the other end asks if we recently released a Black Suburban. Why yes we have, they seem happy with this and somewhat relieved that they "won't have to send a car down" to our garage. See, the kid is now claiming we stole $80 from him, and the way he relayed the story to the cops made it seem like we pulled him neck first over the counter and rifled through his wallet until we had extracted everything of value from it and then left him bleeding and toothless in the gutter outside. I explained he had tried to pay with a maxed-out credit card, the charge was reversed and it probably won't show up on his statement as reversed until the morning, if he still has problems he needs to talk to the office in the morning and they'll be more than happy to help since I'm not trained in doing anything other than pushing buttons on the machine. The officer agreed that that would put an end to it and he'd instruct them to talk to the office-lady (who the officer knew by first name, so I know I'm in the clear) in the mornin'.
So, issue resolved, back in line for your turn at the memory hole you useless factoids... oh, wait, what's this, a last-minute reprieve from the Governor?
Actually, it was a call from my folks at the garage, while I was on the phone with the cops, the kid has been burning up the answering machine, demanding that I call him back and they'd REALLY appreciate it if I did that since the constant ringing is getting on their nerves. (The way the phones are set up, after office hours, calls to the business number forward to my phone, if I'm talking to someone, they bounce back to the office machine where I can pick them up later)
I get the kids number relayed to me and try to call it... no answer, goes to voicemail. Wait 5 minutes, still voicemail. Lather, Rinse, Repeat, still voicemail.
Then it dawns on me, the reason I can't get though to HIM because he won't stop trying to get through to ME, my calls are bouncing to v-mail because he's constantly clogging the line hoping that he can eventually get something other than an answering machine...
Now my phone rings with the police, again, still the real ones and still not the band.
They'd like to know if I could please call this guy back, as he's also been calling them and demanding to speak to someone at the garage RIGHT NOW! and still wants to know why the police haven't done their duty and drug me out of the office and pulped me into unconsciousness with their nightsticks because I'm a theif! A thief who stole $80 from him for NO REASON WHATSOEVER!!!
I explain I've tried, but I keep getting voicemail. They agree the problem is he won't be patient for 1 second and wait for someone to call back and he keeps jamming both my line and the non-emergency line by hitting "redial". I give them the number direct to my phone (it has 2 lines, "My" line and the "company" line) and tell them to have him call me and I'll be happy to talk. Well, not happy, but I'll talk. Oh boy will I ever talk, I might invent a few new words while I'm at it. .....
A minute or so later, the phone rings, *Deep Breath* *Cue up "Eye of the Tiger"*
-Friendly Neighborhood Towing, Argabarga Speaking
-WHO????
-This is Argabarga
-And WHAT company is this?!
-This is Friendly Neighborhood Towing
-Good, I'm writing all this down, because you DRAINED MY SONS BANK ACCOUNT!
-Excuse me Sir? *yep, a supposed adult just sicced Daddykins on me*
-You took ALL MY SONS MONEY! And you WILL give it back!
-Okay, I'm a bit confused here, are you talking about the Black Suburban we released earlier?
-Yes, that was his! And you took $80 from him! I just checked his account and it's GONE! Now he doesn't have any money for groceries or gas, or books! How is he supposed to LIVE now?!
-He didn't have enough to pay the full $115 charge, so that fee was reversed. There's probably a delay of a couple hours, or maybe a full business day before that charge will be put through and credited back, I'm no expert on what the rules his bank has in place, but, if it doesn't get credited back, just talk to the office in the morning and they will be happy to take care of it.
-NO! You TOOK all my sons money! YOU DIDN'T REVERSE IT BECAUSE IT'S STILL GONE, AND YOU WILL GIVE IT BACK! I EXPECT A FULL REFUND TONIGHT!
-The charge has been reversed Sir, that's all I can do, as I said, you can talk to the office in the morning if you still have questions
-YOU STOLE MY SONS MONEY, and now you are REFUSING to give it back? Is that what I'm hearing?
-No Sir, I didn't take anything from him, he gave me a credit card, I tried to run it, it didn't have enough money, so the charge was reversed.
-It didn't have enough because YOU TOOK IT ALL! Am I going to have to call the POLICE?
-You already have Sir, they already talked to me about this
-So you admit you STOLE it?
-No Sir, I haven't stolen anything, you need to talk to the office in the morning if you have further questions.
-Sounds like you're running a SCAM to me! You just live to scam poor college students don't you? Because now, thanks to you, my son has NO MONEY, he has no way of even buying groceries now!
-Talk to the office in the morning Sir, I cannot help you any further
-Well, I'll just SUE you then! Do I have to call a lawyer?!
-Talk to the office, Sir, they'll be able to help you with that.
-I'm CALLING THE COPS!
-Talk to the office in the morning, Sir
-Okay, I guess I'll just have to sue you, what's your name so I can tell my lawyer?
-As I said, you need to talk to the office in the morning, Sir, they'll be happy to help
-NO! CALL YOUR MANAGER!
-He's not here right now, talk to the office in the morning
-What?! WELL THEN CALL THE OWNER!
-I have no way to call him, you'll need to talk to the office in the morning
-LOOK, YOU STOLE MY SONS MONEY AND YOU NEED TO GIVE IT BACK RIGHT NOW! DO I HAVE TO COME DOWN THERE OR SOMETHING?! YOU WILL GIVE THE $80 YOU STOLE BACK TO HIM RIGHT NOW SO HE HAS MONEY TO LIVE ON!
-We're really going in circles here Sir, I've already explained that you need to talk..
-WE'RE NOT GOING IN CIRCLES, YOU ARE RUNNING A SCAM!!!
Well, I tried, but he's pushed me to the Popeye point. I've had all I can stands, can't stands no more. Hey there little red "end call" button, how bout getting me outta this mess?
*Click*
Somehow, against all the odds, he didn't call back....
And now the memory of dealing with both him and his Son will be saved from the inky black void of the forgotten in my mind. Instead, they'll be placed on that special top shelf alongside the annals of other bizzare nincompoops I've dealt with where they'll hang like grotesque hunting trophies and occasionaly be dusted and brought down and passed around for a laugh at parties and the like. It's a humble life, but it's better than disappearing forever like just about everything I learned in 6th grade has, with the exception of how much it hurts to slip off wet monkey bars on the playground and take one of them in the crotch.
That memory shall live forever.
) then, after getting nowhere, Little Toots calls her boyfriend (who looked like a Jersey Shore reject) showed up and wanted to just pay the $115 and the car wouldn't be towed (it would've been $250 if it had been towed back to the yard) but the girl kept showing her ass.
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