Wow...uh... whoa...

[FuzzyKitten99]

I just found out last night that one of my best daytime customers was arrested a few months ago for sexual assault on a pre-teen girl.

I had noticed he hadn't been in for a while and though sometimes his visits were sporadic, it was unusual for him to not come in for several months.

Not to mention his facebook account was deleted. Ok, I figured maybe he was deleting his account or whatever, as many are doing these days.

But then his name was removed from the door of the restaurant he managed. I thought maybe he would have gotten a different job elsewhere but it wouldn't be like him to not tell me and celebrate with his favorite cigar.

Being in the restaurant industry myself, I wanted to try to keep in contact as he has many connections that may be beneficial to me.

So... I googled his name, thinking that if he was connected to another restaurant somewhere, it might locate him...instead found the above info in a news brief.

He just didn't seem the type and I got to know him very well over the last 2 years. Often he would come in after his shift and relax with a cigar until rush hour was more done.

Just... very strange to see his mugshot and that title on someone who you thought you knew pretty well and just never gave that creeper vibe.

Oy vey...

[Andara Bledin]

Yeah. That sort of thing can be jarring.

I have an acquaintance that I've known from my local gaming convention that sort of just disappeared about a month before a convention, which was unusual, as he was a regular volunteer for one of the departments. So, I did a little digging, 'cause he wasn't active on Facebook, and found a report of an arrest for 3 counts of something with a minor.

^-.-^

[Sandman]

Just remember... he's innocent until proven guilty. I've served on a jury of a sexual assault charge and unless the DA has hard proof that the individual committed the crime... it's hard to convict.

[Andara Bledin]

In my case, the guy spent a couple of years "helping a relative in a place with little to no internet access." Although, to be quite honest, that still doesn't mean he actually did what he was accused of doing.

^-.-^

[the_std]

I feel you guys on this - The year after graduating high school, I found out that my very first boyfriend (we dated in the 9th grade) was arrested for massive counts of child pornography, as in the biggest child pornography case ever in my city.

Talk about jarring.

[MoonCat]

OK, old, old story, kiddies.

When I was 16, I enthusiastically acquired what were then called "working papers." Basically a form that had to be signed by your parents saying you had their permission to take a job. Then I went looking for said work. I answered an ad in the paper, had an interview, and was hired for what turned out to be....going door to door to sell magazine subscriptions. I know, ewww. But I was game to give it a try.

I spent a day working with a young guy about my age who was very friendly, very pleasant, and cute. Eventually he asked me if I would maybe go out some time. I said maybe. He gave me his number. I was too shy to call him, and I had decided I hated the job, so I quit. Never saw the guy again.

Several years later his picture turned up in the paper. He had been arrested for raping and killing his girlfriend. IIRC, he was convicted. Freaked. Me. Out.

[FuzzyKitten99]

Just remember... he's innocent until proven guilty. I've served on a jury of a sexual assault charge and unless the DA has hard proof that the individual committed the crime... it's hard to convict.

Below is the description of the type of crime he has been charged with:

First Degree Sexual Assault
Sex Abuse in the 1st Degree: When in the course of committing sexual abuse, the person causes another serious injury, such as a disabling mental illness; a bodily injury which creates a substantial risk of death, causes serious permanent disfigurement, or causes protracted loss or impairment of the function of any bodily member or organ; or injury to a child that requires surgical repair and necessitates the administration of general anesthesia. First degree sex abuse is a Class A Felony requiring life imprisonment without the possibility of parole.

from this site: http://pauledlundlaw.com/areas_of_pr...e_charges.html

I would say from the description I would hope that a huge mistake was made but given the nature of the type of crime to be charged with this, only a DNA test would prove one way or another.

[FuzzyKitten99]

And it gets even more bizarre... I never got to meet Rod's son or daughter, though he talked about them quite a bit. But now his son is in trouble with the law.

News reports from only a couple weeks ago state that his 19yo son broke into his grandparents' home where his dad was staying until the trial, and stabbed him! Not fatal and he only had an overnight stay at the hospital. However his son had a friend who was also involved and they stated that their actions were because of the 'perceived actions of their father' referring to the charges that have been filed against him.

... le sigh...

[tropicsgoddess]

Holy shit! It's definitely more than jarring when the seemingly good guys (and even worse with the ones that you could seemingly trust) are the ones that turn out to be the ones that do shit like that.

[Jester]

It is easy to condemn and look down upon such people, as we have often done here.

It is tougher when it is someone you know. Tougher still when it is someone you like.

Perfect example of this: a good friend of mine's teenage son is incarcerated in a juvenile facility due to an event last year when his mother (my friend's ex) discovered him with his toddler sister. Both were naked. He admitted to various things, some of which I don't know, and the rest of which I am not going to post here. Suffice it to say that there was no question of whether or not he did it, merely how confused he was. Was this him lashing out at his mother? Something deeper? These are rhetorical questions that need not be answered here. But they were definitely questions I asked my friend, and that he asked himself a thousandfold more.

I know the kid in question. He's a good kid. Correlating what I know of him with what he did is tough for me. For his parents, it must be a nightmare. (My friend is his father, but is not the father of toddler girl, the teenager's half-sister.) It looks good that he will be released this fall, into the care of his father, my friend, who has left Key West to move back to his rural place in a Bible Belt state. Living there, the teenager will be far enough away from everyone to not violate his parole, and hopefully my friend will get him the help he needs.

We often say that such things are incurable, and perhaps that is so. But when it is someone you know, who has their whole future ahead of them, it is tough to think like that.

(Some astute readers may notice that I did not speak much of the half-sister here. What happened to her was terrible, and it may well scar her. But this was not the point of my post. I focused on the teenager because he is the one that I know, and it is a different viewpoint to such an incident than most of us are used to having, similar to what happened in the OP. Please do not think I have dismissed out of hand what happened to the young girl. I haven't. I just wanted to present this "other side" of things, if that makes sense.)

[FuzzyKitten99]

It is easy to condemn and look down upon such people, as we have often done here.

It is tougher when it is someone you know. Tougher still when it is someone you like.

Perfect example of this: a good friend of mine's teenage son is incarcerated in a juvenile facility due to an event last year when his mother (my friend's ex) discovered him with his toddler sister. Both were naked. He admitted to various things, some of which I don't know, and the rest of which I am not going to post here. Suffice it to say that there was no question of whether or not he did it, merely how confused he was. Was this him lashing out at his mother? Something deeper? These are rhetorical questions that need not be answered here. But they were definitely questions I asked my friend, and that he asked himself a thousandfold more.

I know the kid in question. He's a good kid. Correlating what I know of him with what he did is tough for me. For his parents, it must be a nightmare. (My friend is his father, but is not the father of toddler girl, the teenager's half-sister.) It looks good that he will be released this fall, into the care of his father, my friend, who has left Key West to move back to his rural place in a Bible Belt state. Living there, the teenager will be far enough away from everyone to not violate his parole, and hopefully my friend will get him the help he needs.

We often say that such things are incurable, and perhaps that is so. But when it is someone you know, who has their whole future ahead of them, it is tough to think like that.

(Some astute readers may notice that I did not speak much of the half-sister here. What happened to her was terrible, and it may well scar her. But this was not the point of my post. I focused on the teenager because he is the one that I know, and it is a different viewpoint to such an incident than most of us are used to having, similar to what happened in the OP. Please do not think I have dismissed out of hand what happened to the young girl. I haven't. I just wanted to present this "other side" of things, if that makes sense.)

You describe what I am feeling right on the target. I abhor anyone who hurts or molests (or anything in between) children, especially those younger than teenagers. However it makes it really difficult when this was someone I know, and I thought I knew pretty well. He begged me several times to take the assistant manager position that he had open for a couple months because no one who had applied was what corporate saw as a good fit. He knew my education and my management experience, thus wanted me there. The shop was still too new for me to leave since income here was not enough to pay someone yet.

I knew he wasn't much into being social beyond hanging out here because his job was a 50-70 (sometimes more) work week and I can understand not wanting to be around people much after being around them all the time at work. I often feel like that myself. So that never threw any flags... now it makes things a little more clear.

[Sandman]

I would say from the description I would hope that a huge mistake was made but given the nature of the type of crime to be charged with this, only a DNA test would prove one way or another.

That was the clincher for us on the jury. We HAD no DNA evidence. The ADA even said that in the opening argument.

The judge gave us explicit instructions, if you find it's the ultimate "he said she said" we MUST find for the defendant.

I believe 6 out of the 10 counts were 1st degree sexual assault, with indecent A & B being a lesser included charge.

[Der Cute]

Do keep in mind that he is "charged". Often (but not always, on cases like this) things are plead out. He may have been charged with that felony, but he might get it down to a Class B felony. (still sucks). My point is that it might be less.
Hopefully it's a open and shut case - like having video and audio, DNA, prints and the victim helping to throw that fat ass heavy book at him.

A city I grew up in. And I had that teacher.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bartlet...9#Sex_scandals

Yeah. Icky nasty, as a friend says.

[spark]

Somebody I know did something like that to somebody else I know. I won't say who or exactly what, but I was equally close to both parties. I will say that in the end I think he was the one who was more scarred and damaged by it than the one he assaulted.

It's never excusable. It's never justifiable. But sometimes it can (and maybe even should) be forgiven.

Although forgiveness doesn't mean you let somebody off the hook for their actions. I do think sometimes people just need to be locked away and never let out. You can forgive them and still understand that they can't be given a chance to repeat what they've done.

What's both sad and scary (and illustrated here) is how common sexual abuse is. I read once that one in four girls will be abused in some way by the time the reach their 20s. I believe it. I was abused too, which is another story I don't tell. Thankfully I'm quite over it, I don't talk about it much because it's a long-closed issue that has nothing to do with my current life, not because it's something I can't deal with.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

That was the clincher for us on the jury. We HAD no DNA evidence. The ADA even said that in the opening argument.

The judge gave us explicit instructions, if you find it's the ultimate "he said she said" we MUST find for the defendant.

And this is why Jerry Sandusky will not be seeing the inside of a jail cell. Remember where you read this.