Why do you people even eat out?

[customersruinmylife]

It seems as though only fussy eaters came to the pub for lunch today.

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I take two breakfasts out. They look amazing. Really. Just the sight of them made me feel hungry. We even had a repairman in the kitchen who commented on how he now wanted to order one once he had finished his job.

The customer of course, had a different opinion. He started pointing at each individual item the second I put the plate down.

SC: The sausage is burnt. The egg is too runny. The toast looks like it hasn't seen the inside of a toaster and it looks as though you've given me the last scraps of bacon! Take them back! This is not on!

Cook and repairman screamed "What?!?!" when I placed them back under the light.

C: Nuh-uh. No way. I refuse to re-do them. I am proud of those fucking breakfasts. If that's not good enough for them, then nothing else I send out will be.

I sent the manager over. Manager informed them that they could either take the breakfasts that had been prepared, or get a refund.

SC: GET ME A REFUND! THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOUR IS UNACCEPTABLE!!!!!

I don't really know what kind of "behaviour" he was talking about.

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Two burgers go out.

Me: There you go guys. Enjoy your meals.

Five minutes later, I return to their table.

Me: Is everything OK with your meals?
SC: *has mouth full of food, but keenly gives me a thumbs up*
Me: Good stuff.

Ten minutes later, I go to clear their plates.

SC: There wasn't any cheese on our burger.
Me: Oh. I'm sorry, did you order cheese?
SC: Yes we did. And we didn't get it. We are not happy.

He stared me out. I didn't know what to say.

Me: It's a shame you didn't say something when I checked your table. I could have sorted it for you.
SC: *death stare*
Me: So...
SC: Get me the manager.

Manager learned that they hadn't actually ordered cheese. The other person forgot to order it. And even if they had ordered it, what did they expect me to do AFTER they had finished? Why didn't they say anything when I checked their table?

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A lady came up to the bar. She ordered a drink and everything was fine. Until...

SC: I don't like your menu. So I brought my own lunch.

She pulled out a plastic container.

SC: Heat it up in your microwave and put it in a bowl for me.
Me: Yeah, that's not going to happen. Let me just go grab a manager.

Manager just about face-palmed. SC screeched "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T ALLOW OUTSIDE FOOD? I'M NOT PAYING YOUR PRICES!!!!"

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SC: It's raining.
Me: Yes it is. Some summer, eh?
SC: I would like to eat in the beer garden.
Me: Right.
SC: But it's raining.
Me: I know. I'd love to be outside in a beer garden too right now.
SC: You're not understanding me. I want to eat outside, but it's raining. What are you going to do about it?
Me: What?
SC: What are you going to do?
Me: I don't think there's anything I can do.
SC: *sighs and walks away, giving me a look as if I was the idiot in the conversation*

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I take a steak meal out. The lady screeches.

SC: There are black lines all over my steak! It's dirty!
Me: Those are lines from the grill.
SC: It's dirt!
Me: It's not dirt. It's cook lines.
SC: It's dirt! I need a new steak!
Me: Any other steak I bring out will look EXACTLY the same.
SC: I'm not eating dirt!

It went around in circles about six times, until her boyfriend finally told her to shut up.

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I finish my shift. I get changed and head for the door. I am stopped just as I am about to exit the building.

SC: I think your tuna is a bit too fishy! It might be off!
Me: If you go to the bar they will help you out.
SC: Why? Where are you going?
Me: Home.

I heard him scoff "Huh! I guess that's me told!" as I left.

[AmbrosiaWriter]

Sorry but what does "I guess that's me told" mean? I never heard that expression before.

Also every time your manager goes out to deal with them I get a smile on my face.

[Scorpodael]

CRML, How DARE you not be able to change the weather on a whim? Don't you know that the customer is all-important, and the forces of nature are as nothing to their needs, no matter how seemingly-unreasonable!

[Pixilated]

C: Nuh-uh. No way. I refuse to re-do them. I am proud of those fucking breakfasts. If that's not good enough for them, then nothing else I send out will be

Kudos to your cook! And the 'behaviour' was the staff's unwillingness to grovel and cater to his every wish ... how could you not know that??

Manager learned that they hadn't actually ordered cheese. The other person forgot to order it. And even if they had ordered it, what did they expect me to do AFTER they had finished? Why didn't they say anything when I checked their table?

Initially sounded to me as if they were trying to eat free. I'm still not sure that's not the case ... did the other person really "forget" or did they just decide to try this and see what happened ...

SC: You're not understanding me. I want to eat outside, but it's raining. What are you going to do about it?

Well, if you weren't going to be helpful enough to change the weather, the least you could've done was stand there with an umbrella held over the customer so he could eat his lunch in the beer garden!

[Salted Grump]

Of course, we all know that if we could change the weather on a whim, there'd be a lot more assholes in the world suddenly dealing with the 'residual' effects of being hit by lightning in the middle of clear days.

[PepperElf]

SC: You're not understanding me. I want to eat outside, but it's raining. What are you going to do about it?

Either he was stupid enough to think you somehow had the ability to "fix" this... or he wanted a discount for his "trouble". Or both

Sorry but what does "I guess that's me told" mean? I never heard that expression before.

Also every time your manager goes out to deal with them I get a smile on my face.

Neither have I, but I figured it meant, "That's what I get for bugging the employee who's headed home"

[Crossbow]

SC: It's dirt!
Me: It's not dirt. It's cook lines.
SC: It's dirt! I need a new steak!

Dafuq? Has she only ever had boiled steak or something? Or maybe only goes to places that use a flat grill?

*shudder* You really do get some winners there, CRML.

[thehuckster]

Why do you people even eat out?

Well, in the case of the first story, clearly it's because even their homecooked meal isn't up to their standards.

The only time I've ever had food sent back was when there was a piece of chicken that was severely undercooked. I was actually considering leaving the restaurant after that.

[rose_metal_nz]

SC: I think your tuna is a bit too fishy! It might be off!
Me: If you go to the bar they will help you out.
SC: Why? Where are you going?
Me: Home.
I heard him scoff "Huh! I guess that's me told!" as I left.

Yup, pretty much! CRML if you weren't already in a pub, I'd offer you alcoholic beverages... Have some cookies instead. Whaddaday!

[Merriweather]

Ok, in order, these people need to learn the rules of dining out.

1. Never order a breakfast unless you are willing to accept at least a small range of variaiton in shade of toast, firmness of eggs, etc.

2. If you want something on a sandwich that isn't listed on the menu as coming on that sandwich, you have to ask for it when ordering. Waitpersons do not come with ESP.

2a. Do not complain about not getting something you did not order in the first place.

3. Places serving food make their money by serving food. They are not picnic areas, you do not bring your own food from home. And asking them to heat your food in their microwave & serve your food in their dishes? Don't even think about that part.

4. The existence of a beer garden or outside tables at a place serving food does not guarantee weather suitable to actually use these, nor does the business pocess the ability to change the weather to suit your preference.

5. If you order a grilled item, such as a steak, it will be cooked on a grill. Grills leave lines on food, that shows it was grilled. Pubs & restaurants do not generally put nice even lines of dirt on food.

6. Tuna is a fish. It is supposed to taste fishy, because, gee, it's a fish.

6a. If you want to make a complaint, dumb as it may be, make it to someone serving your table, or standing behind a bar or counter, which shows they are actually working at that time, unlike someone in a coat walking out the door.

There, have all patrons read these rules, initial these rules, and if they still break these rules, then staple the initialed rules to their foreheads.

[Aethian]

6. Tuna is a fish. It is supposed to taste fishy, because, gee, it's a fish.

Actually if a fish is smelling or tasting fishy it is because the fish has gone bad. Every fish has it's own flavor and if your one to eat enough fish and known the taste it has then you can tell when the fish has started to go off even after being cooked.

[telecom_goddess]

Ok, in order, these people need to learn the rules of dining out.

*snip* only because of length

There, have all patrons read these rules, initial these rules, and if they still break these rules, then staple the initialed rules to their foreheads.

Have I ever mentioned I love you? You say the greatest things and don't take no crap from no one!

[Teskeria]

Sorry but what does "I guess that's me told" mean? I never heard that expression before.

.

sounds like a regional variation on 'Well, I guess you told me!" (meaning you told me off or you made me look like an idiot)

[emax4]

SC: You're not understanding me. I want to eat outside, but it's raining. What are you going to do about it?

I guess I'm gonna watch you get wet while you're outside eating in the rain.

[Bright_Star]

Did they think there was a huge button somewhere you could push to make the rain stop?