A little bit about me.

[BEN1972]

In a previous thread, I mentioned I have Major Depressive Disorder and am on SSDI because of it. I was doing really well until the end of March of 2009 when I got laid off from my job. When I got called back in mid-July something happened to me in my head that changed everything in my life.

I don't know exactly what but I had anxiety all the time. I was in and out of mental facilities from Sept 09-November 2010 and missed a lot of work. Plus I had a lot of debt hanging over my head and needed to file for bankruptcy. I attempted suicide several times. Right now, I am stable and am on the right combination of meds. Still, I have days that are very difficult. I writing this as a way of therapy for me and hope to get to know others who might have some of the problems I do.

[Amina516]

I'm sorry you've been having troubles. I hope your medications are helping you do better. This certainly seems like its a good first step.

[BEN1972]

Thank you, Amina.

It's a tough struggle, especially when you don't get a lot positive reinforcement?
It's like you get praised 5 times and criticized once and that sticks with you more.

[Nurian]

Not only that, but the criticism gets worse as your mind retells it. Someone may say that something you did needs to be refined but by the end of the day, you've convinced yourself the person was just trying to show decorum over their disgust.

It's hard. I know. You're not alone.