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  • Fallout Jokes

    Ok so a good buddy of mine has asked me to put together a random loot generator for a Fallout RPG game we're doing. I've almost got it down but his sense of humour is almost as twisted as mine. I wanted to throw in some fallout jokes in the error messages of have comments on some of the items or something. Just simple stuff, nothing insulting or creepy, I really don't want to do anything creepy because that would be mean but a joke when a certain item is created could be funny. Basically the loot list involves any non unique item in fallout 3.
    Interviewer: What is your greatest weakness?
    Me: I expect competence from my coworkers.

  • #2
    Flamethrowers = AAFF (Aim Away From Face)

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    • #3
      Dehydrated Water Supplies From Vault 820 (8=H in straight number to letter conversion)

      Left Handed shovel

      Tatum Works Incredible Newest Kosher Impervious Edible (T.W.I.N.K.I.E.)

      Fifty-million dollars in paper Certificates of Deposit

      8 Brass Monkeys from the Ancient Sacred Secret Crypts of Egypt

      1958 World Almanac
      The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
      "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
      Hoc spatio locantur.

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      • #4
        I don't play the game, but if I had a list of the items you were referring to, I am sure I could come up with some amusing stuff. Just saying.

        "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
        Still A Customer."

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        • #5
          Quoth Jester View Post
          I don't play the game, but if I had a list of the items you were referring to, I am sure I could come up with some amusing stuff. Just saying.
          A list of all items in Fallout 3.

          More lists:

          Weapons

          Armor and Clothing

          Skill Books

          Drugs, Drinks and Food


          Ammunition

          Items

          Yet another game I need to play one of these days, along with Fallouts 1, 2 and 4.
          "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

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          • #6
            For the .44 magnum ammunition: "Do you feel lucky, punk? Well....do ya?"

            For the darts: "English bitter not included."

            For the mini nuke: "Formerly an option on the Mini Cooper."

            For Dad's wasteland outfit: "Apparently it is NOT only Teenage Wasteland."

            For the Vault 101 jumpsuit: "As taught by Kerri Strug."

            For Lyon's Pride power armor: "Perfect for the Pride parade!"

            For the Tesla armor: "Avoid signs while wearing, as they may cause the breaking of your mind."

            For the Hand-me-down raider armor: "Because Mom always loved him best."

            For the Raider badlands armor: "Great for watching games from the Black Hole!"

            For the Raider commando armor: "Underwear not required."

            For the Raider sadist armor: "Also sometimes known as the Rader sadist armor, or the BTK armor."

            For the Sharp-dressed raider armor: "Cause every girl's crazy about the sharp-dressed armor."

            For the Apocalypse gladiator armor: "You'll only need to wear it once!"

            For the Blast-off pajamas: "For that very special date...."

            For the Naughty Nightwear: "Tsk, tsk, tsk...."

            For the Boogeyman's hood: "Great for a comfortable night hiding under the bed or in the closet."

            For the Raider pscho-tic helmet: "Available only in Oakland." OR... "No longer just for those in Oakland."

            For Eulogy Jones's hat: "Eulogy Jones not included."

            For the Hat of the People: "Of the people, by the people, and for the people."

            For Lincoln's hat: "Discounted due to bullet holes..."

            For the Shady hat: "For sunny days."

            For the AntAgonizer's Helmet: "Perfect for aardvarks!"

            For Human Flesh: "Warning: May Contain Human Flesh."

            For Beer: "An absolute necessity!"

            For Moonshine: "Say goodnight, Gracie!"

            (Note: I am amused that vodka is the same price/value as dirty water, and scotch is the same price/value as purified water. I am not, however, so amused by the complete exclusion of rum in the beverage section. Grr....)

            For Dave's Note: "Dave's not here."

            For the Fuck This note: "Pretty much self-explanatory, don't you think?"

            For the Marry Me! note: "RUN!"

            For the Vote for Dave note: "Hey Dave, let me in, man!"

            For Crazy Wolfgang's supply key: "Puck this!"

            For Dave's Special key: "Dude, Dave's not here."

            For the Key to Grandma Sparkle's fridge: "Groovy, dude. Some seriously tripazoidanal stuff in the fridge, man. Totally far out."

            For Mei Wong's key: "Go head, big guy, unlock Mei Wong!"

            For Shake's liquor cabinet key: "Hope you're thirsty!"

            For the Lying, Congressional Style book: "Clearly a treatise penned by experts."

            For the Board of Education: "Throughout history, one of the most effective weapons known to man."

            For The Shocker: "Perfect for surprising that special someone on a date!"

            For the Bill of Rights: "Warning: Tends to erode after about 200 years...."


            That's all I really have. Keep in mind, I don't play the game, don't really know anything about it, and was merely commenting on the titles of the items I saw, with no context whatsoever, just throwing down whatever jumped into my brain when I saw certain items. Hopefully you find some of these funny, but if you don't, well, sorry!

            "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
            Still A Customer."

            Comment


            • #7
              not all of the unique items are in here but I can definitely use some of those, thanks.

              Quoth Jester View Post
              (Note: I am amused that vodka is the same price/value as dirty water, and scotch is the same price/value as purified water. I am not, however, so amused by the complete exclusion of rum in the beverage section. Grr....)

              because the rum is always gone.
              Last edited by gremcint; 09-19-2012, 03:36 AM.
              Interviewer: What is your greatest weakness?
              Me: I expect competence from my coworkers.

              Comment


              • #8
                Quoth gremcint View Post
                I can definitely use some of those, thanks.
                No problem! Hope you and the other players enjoy whichever ones you do choose to use.

                Quoth gremcint View Post
                because the rum is always gone.
                Oh, well played, sir. Well played indeed!

                "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                Still A Customer."

                Comment

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