I Can't Believe We Carry That!

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Or, "Someone fucked up. They trusted me."

I don't claim to know what the members of the wide, diverse CS family do in their spare time, and I may not want to know anyway, but if I mentioned Billy Boy Condoms, most of you probably wouldn't know what they are, except they are condoms used for what condoms are used for.

What sets Billy Boy condoms apart from all other condoms is that their packages feature the apparent brand mascot, which is....a smiling penis and pair of balls.

Somebody, or some bodies, up at the corporate office, thought these particular condoms would be a great addition to our selection of family planning items. These same people, who are probably very sheltered, apparently also thought they could count on me to notice them arriving with our freight on last night's truck, and let them pass me by without comment.

The fools. I have a reputation to maintain.

So, when I was stocking miscellaneous health and beauty items today, I noticed the Billy Boy condoms in the shopping cart, and of course went out of my way to show them to all my co-workers, and comment on how they don't change the fact that we're a family store. Or something. It went a lot like this:

"Hey, check these out!"

"Wha....what is that on the box!"

"Exactly what you think it is."

"Oh. Hahahaha. Shouldn't you be putting those away instead of having everybody look at them?"

"Yeah, probably."

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Heh, that's nothing, Irv.

We just started carrying ExtenZe at the Litter Box. A few months ago we started carrying those Trojan vibrating rings too.

Needless to say, Daria has been giggling quite a bit over that. Nevermind that she's married and has a young son (just turned a year in August) - get her talking about anything related to sex and she's all giggles.

But yeah, those are strange choices to carry in a grocery store, which is supposed to be a family establishment.

[fireheart]

The store I worked at previously carried Horny Goat Weed and other male erm..."enhancements". yes, we also sold condoms. And lube. And pleasuring gel. There's also a rumour that the other supermarket chain in my state sells vibrators-not vibrating cock rings, as in actual dong-shaped vibrators.

One of my coworkers was actually disappointed when she discovered that someone had ripped open a box of condoms, taken the condoms out and left the instructions. (her comment was "If you're going to steal condoms, at least know how to use them!" hint: not balloons)

Oh and Irv, is this it?

(We Aussies are sadly boring-the only brands of condoms you see in most establishments are Four Seasons, Durex and Ansell, although they come in some interesting varieties. There's flavoured, ribbed, studded, ribbed and studded, glow in the dark, "naked" condoms, extended pleasure...)

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

That be it. I'd recognize that grinning dick anywhere.

[Trixie]

In my family friendly pharmacy we carry a full shelf of um, self-massagers on the women's side of the aisle, the one with the pregnancy tests and yeast infection medicine. The guy side of the aisle (next to the womens deodorant) are the condoms and just a few stimulating things for the guys. Not sure what that says at all.

[sms001]

Maybe corporate DID know you Irv - and was counting on you to do a little morale boosting. nah, too clever for the white-shirts.

and thanks for the link fireheart, i'm loving "Better performance from German engineering."

[DGoddessChardonnay]

and thanks for the link fireheart, i'm loving "Better performance from German engineering."

Wasn't that the slogan for VW at one time?

It's certainly one thing to talk about automobiles in that manner, but I wouldn't have imagined the male sex organs in that manner as well.

[wolfie]

and thanks for the link fireheart, i'm loving "Better performance from German engineering."

Wasn't that the slogan for VW at one time?

I believe it was - which makes it odd that a condom manufacturer would use the same slogan. After all, in the '70s, CB slang referred to VWs as "pregnant rollerskates".

[MoonCat]

Could be worse. Back in the 80's, we almost had this as a permanent sculpture in the downtown area:



When questioned, the sculptor insisted that the figures were "dancing dogbones." The mayor didn't agree.

[depechemodefan]

At least it didn't come with a special display, where the mascot is also a blow-up.

I at least try to put books on display with covers of nekid people. Too bad for Banned Books Week they stuck with Animal Farm and Fahrenheit 451 on the display and not Fanny Hill or How to Make Love Like a Porn Star: A Cautionary Tale

[DGoddessChardonnay]

When questioned, the sculptor insisted that the figures were "dancing dogbones." The mayor didn't agree.

Suuure they are. And I'm a secret agent in my spare time.

I like to think I can tell the difference between a dog bone and a man-bone - even in the dark.

[MadMike]

It's a good thing supermarkets didn't carry that sort of thing back when I worked there. My coworkers and I found enough to make fun of with items that were perfectly innocent.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

It's a good thing supermarkets didn't carry that sort of thing back when I worked there. My coworkers and I found enough to make fun of with items that were perfectly innocent.

As if the cucumbers and kiwi fruit aren't erotic enough . . .

Believe me, after over 20 years in the grocery business, there's always something we can amuse ourselves with.

[MoonCat]

Suuure they are. And I'm a secret agent in my spare time.

I like to think I can tell the difference between a dog bone and a man-bone - even in the dark.

Oh, but these light up!

Supposedly the powers-that-be in town approved the sculpture when shown a miniature model of it--it wasn't until the actual (very tall) panels were put in place and the neon lights came on that they all went

[telecom_goddess]

At least it didn't come with a special display, where the mascot is also a blow-up.

That would give the term blow job a whole new meaning now wouldn't it