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Well I've ruined Christmas again

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  • Well I've ruined Christmas again

    The story so far: Quiltmaker kicked out of crazy family of moochers, thankfully before Quiltmaker's kids could pick up on anything. Uncle has mooched everything he can from Grandmother with Alzheimers and treats her like shit and keeps whining about how bad his life is. Uncle moocher is now living in Grandmother's house (that she pays all the bills on) while Grandmother and Mom life in a cottage in a retirement village. Moocher sister lives in Mom's hoarded house.

    So I was gearing up for our usual holiday tradition, lots of time spent at home, cuddling on the couch in our jammies and taking antibiotics. (Daughter is on her 3rd bout of strep and Hubs is on his 2nd.)

    My mom decides that it's not fair that I "never let her see her grandkids" and wants to spend more time with the kidlets. I always had an open door policy with my mom if she wanted to spend time with my kids - she just never wanted to take the time.
    So for the past few months, whenever she's decided that she wants to be a grandma, I'm expected to drop everything at her beck and call and shuttle the kids wherever she wants to take them.

    I was told this Christmas Brunch was over at my Grandmother's cottage this year. And Mom and Gma wanted us there, very very much. So fine, I decided we would head out there.

    Side note: Everytime they try to get me to come over to Moocher uncle's house I always refuse. My grandparents raised me in that house and I have very fond memories of that house. Mom has told me that Uncle has completely trashed the house, and at every family gathering he's shitfaced and invites all of his friends over to get shitfaced too. He curses and yells at Mom and Gma to wait on him hand and foot. Needless to say I want nothing to do with that and certainly don't want my children around that.

    So we hurriedly get the kids dressed and head out on the icy roads to Gma's house. Mom has been calling and texting with "Are you coming over? Hurry cause Brunch is going to start soon!" so we're doing our best to be there on time.
    We get to the cottage and only Mom and Gma are there. Apparently Brunch was changed at the last minute to Uncle's house and no one thought to tell me.

    So they start pleading with me to come over to Uncle's house, cause it's Christmas, and I'm supposed to put family above everything else. (Really? I'm sorry but if I wanted to spend hours hanging out with people who hate me and openly insult me to my face....yeah)

    Now hubs is pissed off, cause he could be nice and warm at home, and the kids are upset, cause they only got their coats on for breakfast and I'm having to explain why I refuse to go over there for the thousandth time and gather everyone back into the car so we can go home.

    I get a text message from Uncle as I'm heading home. "You always ruin Christmas you selfish stuck up bitch"

    Yeah, if anyone needs me, I'll be in Azeroth.
    https://purplefish-quilting.square.site/

  • #2
    FFS......Its reasons like that I keep to myself and keep my family at arms length, I love them best at a distance...

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    • #3
      Delete the text from your Uncle, and have some laughs with your family. He's a miserable old git, and the best revenge is having a happy Christmas.
      The report button - not just for decoration

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      • #4
        Quoth Kanalah View Post
        Apparently Brunch was changed at the last minute to Uncle's house and no one thought to tell me.
        Nuh-uh. I refuse to believe this. If your Mom can text to tell you to hurry up, why can't she text to tell you the place has changed? They knew you'd come to your Grandma's because your Mom wants to be nice to the kids, and then they hoped that because you were already there, you'd be more likely to come to Uncles. F*** that - good on you for sticking to your guns.

        Hope everyone gets better soon, and have a lovely rest of Christmas - block the Uncle's number, ignore your mother until New Year and have a chilled out few days with the kids.
        I speak English, L33t, Sarcasm and basic Idiot.

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        • #5
          For some reason, I thought this was appropriate...

          http://www.buzzfeed.com/donnad/12-da...-cat-christmas

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          • #6
            Quoth houdini View Post
            Nuh-uh. I refuse to believe this. If your Mom can text to tell you to hurry up, why can't she text to tell you the place has changed? They knew you'd come to your Grandma's because your Mom wants to be nice to the kids, and then they hoped that because you were already there, you'd be more likely to come to Uncles. F*** that - good on you for sticking to your guns.

            Hope everyone gets better soon, and have a lovely rest of Christmas - block the Uncle's number, ignore your mother until New Year and have a chilled out few days with the kids.
            I agree. To me that sounds a bit intentional. Kinda like ... once they get you out to the first location well then you don't have any excuse to not go to the other location. except for the ones you already listed.

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            • #7
              Yeah considering that the cottage is a stone's throw from Uncle's swanky new pad.

              Seriously he hosts all these parties so he can show off to his friends how awesome he is and then spend the whole time drunk off his ass and complaining how bad his life sucks.

              Okay dude, really? You and your wife both don't work, have a free house all your bills are paid by your mother, she bought you a $40,000 truck and trailer plus a party boat. Plus you both have the latest phones, personal trainers and weekly massages and mani/pedis. Tell me again how bad your life sucks.
              https://purplefish-quilting.square.site/

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              • #8
                Fuck your uncle for being an asshole. Delete the text and move on.

                And, seriously, your mom & gma suck for trying to trick you into going somewhere they knew you weren't going to go, so if anyone "ruined Christmas" it was them, not you.

                In other news: What server are you on?

                ^-.-^
                Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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                • #9
                  OP, I agree with everyone else. Focus on your hubbie and kids and focus on your own health and well-being. Your extended family is toxic and you don't owe them anything.

                  I'm a bit curious, though. How much is your grandma currently affected by Alzheimers? Because I'd call an elder abuse hotline and have the state check out her living/financial situation. Because you've already mentioned your mom is a hoarder and that your uncle is financially sucking her dry. The state can at least investigate and perform a welfare check.
                  A lion however, will only devour your corpse, whereas an SC is not sated until they have destroyed your soul. (Quote per infinitemonkies)

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                  • #10
                    Kanalah -

                    You've posted stories on here about your family, and the nasty things they've done to you - why do you stay in touch with them when they burn you every time? I'm not asking this to be a jerk, but am asking because I do care.

                    You do not deserve to be treated like this. You did not "ruin" their Christmas any more than we ruin a SC's Christmas.
                    "Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid" Redd Foxx as Al Royal - The Royal Family - Pilot Episode - 1991.

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                    • #11
                      Quoth Kanalah View Post
                      So for the past few months, whenever she's decided that she wants to be a grandma, I'm expected to drop everything at her beck and call and shuttle the kids wherever she wants to take them.
                      I went thru the exact same thing with my ex, with our son. I won't bring up all the details again, but I'll just say you have my sympathy.
                      Sometimes life is altered.
                      Break from the ropes your hands are tied.
                      Uneasy with confrontation.
                      Won't turn out right. Can't turn out right

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                      • #12
                        1. THEY damaged YOUR Christmas.

                        2. No last-minute anythings. Ever. Unless someone is in the ER or the ICU, last-minute doesn't count.

                        3. If they start abusing the proviso on that last one, you're going to cancel the proviso.


                        You require a week's notice of events, no exceptions ever. And you have the absolute right to say 'no'. No explanation needed.
                        That includes 'I got a cheap ticket to...' situations. They'll just start abusing it.

                        (If my mother-in-law on my wife's side 'got a cheap ticket to...', yes, I'd pull my good clothes on and run. Cause she's a sweetheart and it'd be genuine and I enjoy her company.
                        But your genetic family? Or, for that matter, members of mine? Not a CHANCE.)
                        Seshat's self-help guide:
                        1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
                        2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
                        3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
                        4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

                        "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

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                        • #13
                          What many others have said. Your mom's constant texting bothered me when you first mentioned it and I'll bet you dollars to a Timbit that she was bugging you so she could make sure you'd actually get there ... so then they could spring the change in venue on you. Kudos to you for standing your ground.

                          Block your uncle and erase him from your life. And remember: Karma's a bitch. Someday there won't be anybody around anymore to support him and he's going to get a very nasty shock when that happens.

                          Quoth bainsidhe View Post
                          *snip*
                          I'm a bit curious, though. How much is your grandma currently affected by Alzheimers? Because I'd call an elder abuse hotline and have the state check out her living/financial situation. Because you've already mentioned your mom is a hoarder and that your uncle is financially sucking her dry. The state can at least investigate and perform a welfare check.
                          For your grandma's sake, I would urge you to do this. Once your grandma runs out of cash, she'll be isolated and vulnerable -- your uncle certainly won't give a damn whether (or how) she lives or dies at that point. If she was fully compos mentis and supporting him, I'd say that's her decision and the results are on her head, but if she's got Alzheimers it's very possible she has no real idea what she's doing anymore.
                          Last edited by Pixilated; 12-26-2012, 05:42 AM.

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                          • #14
                            Your uncle is a grade A, world class, 100%, top of the line, cream of the crop, absolute DICKHEAD.

                            AND he's giving uncles everywhere a bad name. As an uncle, this irritates me.

                            As a person, his behavior in general REALLY pisses me off.

                            I'd like a word with him. I'd like to have an *ahem* "discussion" with him about his current behavior towards his family. The discussion in question may or may not involve a baseball bat, duct tape, and a sound proof room. But it would certainly grab his.....um....attention. Yes, attention. That's the word I'm looking for.

                            What a fucking shitstain waste of skin and carbon.

                            "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                            Still A Customer."

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                            • #15
                              I have already contacted the authorities about my uncle. They came and talked to Gma and she said she was helping uncle out financially because she loved him. This was before she was diagnosed with Alzheimers, but Mom and I saw the signs of it. (Every time his car was in the driveway, she'd get out her checkbook.)

                              Now her doctor has told her to her face that she has it, and when the nurse comes over to check on her she yells and argues about it because she can't remember her doctor diagnosing her. But at this point she's out of money, so uncle treats her like shit. He already has everything he's ever wanted, and it comes out of Gma's Medicare payments. Mom works and pays for Gma's bills and I help out in the "moral support" department. I bring Gma little treats and trinkets (even though she doesn't remember who I am) and I try to make sure Mom gets some time "off".

                              Hubs and Uncle already don't get along because Hubs called him a moocher to his face and said "I hope you're loaded, cause your kids will come back and mooch all your money when you're older." I just prefer to avoid him as much as I can.
                              https://purplefish-quilting.square.site/

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