Tweet
The difference between this time and the last time, when a bum came at me (it's under the heading "Trouble in Paradise"), was this time, it was actually someone I knew.
(Warning: This is a long story in general, and I tend to be a bit verbose. So buckle up, Buttercup...it's gonna be a long ride. And yes, there is probably a way to tell this in a much shorter way, but that's not exactly one of my talents. If you want the very short version, though, skip to the very last paragraph.)
My friend Little Red has been dating this guy for a few years. I'll call him Richard Cockhead. (It's French--the "douche" is silent.) I have never been a fan of this guy, as I basically think of him as dumb, white trash, useless, a druggie, and far, FAR beneath what she deserves or needs in her life. I used to call him a tool, but I realized that tools are actually useful.
Anyway, the last few months Richard--let's call him Dick--has become more and more of an asshole to Red, accusing her of various things she hasn't done, being difficult, starting arguments, being clingy, possessive, and jealous, and doing a lot more drugs. (More on the drugs in a bit.) He doesn't act jealous of ME, because he does have enough brain cells to rub together to realize that I am one of Red's closest friends, and any suggestions of impropriety will be met with laughter, and any demands of us not hanging out together will be ignored. So he's "cool" with me, but good luck with her having any other male friends or acquaintances without him accusing him of this, that, the other, and the other's twin brother. (For those of you who think like this sounds like the typical beginning of the age-old cycle that leads downhill into an abusive relationship, welcome to the club. There's some beer and snacks in the back, and the buffet will open shortly.)
Well, two nights ago Red and I decided to see The Hobbit last night, since both she and I were working yesterday day, and we both had the night off, and Dick was working the night shift. (Red and Dick work at the same place. I don't think it's the best idea, but this guy is not exactly the most employable person, as he has no driver's license, a smattering of job experience, a checkered job history, a criminal record (he's currently on probation), and likes to dabble in drugs. (Seriously, there will be some commentary on that later, I promise.) And by "dabble" I mean, of course, do way too much of them for someone who's supposed to be a responsible adult.
Anyway, when she got off work and he started, and she told him her plans, he got all pissy, wondering why she wouldn't spend Christmas with him...while he's working....at the job she just worked many hours at...while he's working. Going out on a limb here, but I am guessing she wanted to have some fun, and not hang around while tourists ordered burgers and fries. Just a guess.
Well, the got in a big argument, and she tried to leave with her backpack and bike, and he wouldn't let her. So she tried to leave with her backpack, and he wouldn't let her. Finally she just left, without her phone (he had grabbed that out of her hand and put it in his pocket), without her wallet, keys, or purse (in her backpack), and without, of course, her backpack or bike. She came to my bar, where I was enjoying a post-shift beer with some other friends. Naturally she was very emotional, and I spent the better part of that beer calming her down.
Knowing she needed her keys and phone, she and I went back to their job, where somehow her backpack had disappeared, and he had "no idea" where it was, as if some random person had come along and grabbed it out of her bike after she left, and he hadn't just hidden it. Riiiiiiiight. After several minutes of her alternating searching the area and arguing with Mr. Little Innocent, she got fed up, and we went off to dinner and the movie. (Dinner was great for her, but was the worst meal I ever had at that place; the movie rocked.)
After we got out of the theater, I noticed a text (or several) from Dick on my phone, asking me to have Red call him, text him, he just wanted to make sure she was alright, yada yada bullshit cupcakes yada. We ignored the texts, went to a nearby bar, and had a couple drinks. Then back to my place, where she planned on sleeping on my couch, and we broke open a bottle of wine, and talked about Dick and other things, like my new hammock chair swing on my balcony (which rocks).
Finally I called Dick and told him that I hadn't noticed his earlier text, as my phone was off from the theater, but I had dropped Red off at her Dad's. None of this was true, but lately he doesn't bother believing the truth, so it seemed pointless to tell him it, and honestly, we figured he wouldn't much like her crashing at my place. He claimed he had been to Dad's place, so really, where was she? Knowing full well that he was lying about being at Dad's place, I stuck to my story and got off the phone with him. After which he sent me various texts, all badly misspelled (he can't even spell my first name right, and it's RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM when he's typing the text!), one of which made me laugh. "I used to like you until tonight." Yeah, like I give a flying fuck about his opinion of me. Cue me ignoring his texts. Cue Red and I finishing the wine. Cue me providing Red with a sleeping bag for the small couch. Cue Red crashing. Cue me going into my room and crashing. Good night, drop the curtain, end Act One.
Act Two began this morning. Since I had to go to work at my last shift at the toy store, Red and I figured I'd drive us downtown, we'd walk to her and Dick's place of employment, since he was scheduled to open, and just tell him I had picked her up at her Dad's house, since she had no bike, keys, or phone. And after she got her keys from him, she'd go home and shower and chill.
Anyone wanna bet how much that went according to plan? If you bet on "not even close," congratulations! So rather than being conciliatory, remorseful, or apologetic for being a raging douchebag the night before, Dick starts right in with Red again, clearly high on something, and clearly trying to lay the blame on her for, well, pretty much everything. As if I am somehow going to believe his every word and doubt my friend. Riiiiiiight. And then, he lays into me. Without me ever raising my voice, this is about how it went...
DICK: "Jester, you need to respect me, and tell me where Red is when I ask you." JESTER: "Dick, I told you where she was."
DICK: "Jester, I was hanging with her Dad at his house at 4 am (no he wasn't) and she wasn't there."
JESTER: "Whatever."
DICK: "Dude, you need to give me respect."
JESTER: "Respect is earned. I don't just give it."
DICK: "Fuck you."
JESTER: "Whatever."
Cue more arguing between Red and Dick, in which he continues to lie about...well, everything. Blah blah blah we've heard this before crumbcakes blah. Red, realizing we are getting NOWHERE, decides it would be best if she and I leave the situation, head to the toy store, and with my phone call her Dad, figuring he could get her keys from Dick. As we start walking away.....
DICK: "Jester, I will find you and fuck you up."
JESTER: "That would be the worst mistake you ever made."
And Red and I kept walking, figuring that Dick was at his job, so we could, ya know, get away from his idiocy. Not to be. Dick comes running up to us and starts in some more, first insisting that Red go back to their job and talk to him (she was done with that crap), then laying into her more, and then turning on me. Getting right up into my face, with his face and fist at different times literally a couple inches from my face, he continued to threaten me, saying he was going to "knock you out." Never losing my calm, I just stared at him, waiting for him to make a move, and calmly telling him, "That wouldn't be a good idea."
I honestly expected him to take a swipe at me, and I had a few ideas of how I would react. My basic plan was to drop down, punch him in the nuts, then grab his head and slam it into my knee. Dirty? Sure. Do I care? Nope. Not even slightly. I was not planning on being "honorable" with this drugged up lunatic. For the record, he has a few inches in height on me, but we are probably about the same weight. And he thinks he is a much bigger badass than he actually is. Skinny White Boy Syndrome. Anyway, for whatever reason, he never actually threw down, and finally we were able to walk away and get to the toy store, as he returned to his job. (Must be nice having a job where you can run half a block up the street and threaten physical assault on someone. Would have been interesting to see what, if anything, his boss did if he actually did strike me.)
So at the toy store, I let Red use my phone to call her Dad, and she explains what has happened. Dad agrees to go talk to Dick and try to get the keys from him. Dick has lots of respect for Dad, and knows that, while he is older know (sixties), Dad used to be a major badass, and he would not fuck with Dad, nor do anything TOO stupid with Red in front of Dad.
Once Red is off the phone with Dad, I call the local police department's non-emergency number. While waiting to speak to a live human, Red meekly asks me if I would change my mind about this, as Dick could get in trouble, being on probation and all. I told her, "Darlin', it's one thing when it's between you and him. But he crossed that line and made it between him and me, and I am NOT going to play his little game. If he comes at me, I will either put him into the dirt, or file a police report, or both. But I am not playing this shit with him. Period." She nodded; she never expected me to change my mind. (I've been known to be a bit stubborn.)
A little while later a uniformed officer came and took my statement, and said it would be filed as an incident report, that he would talk with Dick, and that if anything happened in the future, to call the PD and reference the report number he gave me. Amusingly, when he was taking down the information, he asked, "Do you know this person?" Why yes, yes I do. His name is Richard Cockhead, he lives at 123 Douchebag Lane, his phone number is 305-555-5555, and he works over here if you'd like to talk to him in person rather than on the phone." Yeah, that felt gooood. (Did I mention I've never really liked this sonofabitch?) Cop was really nice, and seemed to understand that this was not really a domestic situation; I made it really clear that this was not some love triangle, and that there is nothing going on with Red and I, lest the PD think it's just some guys squabbling over a girl.
Dad showed up having spent some time talking to Dick, but having not gotten the keys or anything else from him; this time, Dick claimed Red's keys were in a particular flower pot. (We didn't bother going to the apartment to look; we knew he was full of shit.) Dad and Red and I talked; Dad appreciated me being there for Red. Dad told me this pains him, because he likes and cares for Dick; I told him I don't have that problem, as I can't stand the little shit, and that Red can do much better. Dad agreed with that last part.
Naturally during this, Dick called Dad to try to talk to Red; Red wanted no part of it. So, being the moron that he is, Dick tried relaying messages through Dad to Red, basically trying to carry on the conversation using Dad as an intermediary. Dad squashed that quick, making it really clear that that was NOT going to happen, and that Dick and Red would have to work things out between the two of them, not through a third person on the phone. By the way, did I mention that Dad not only doesn't put up with any bullshit, but is a former badass?
So Dad and Red and I retired to my bar for some munchies and beverages. Since The Bar is the only place where I know Dick knows to look for me, I talked to management, and banned Dick from the place. They don't really know him, of course, but since the only reason he'd be there to cause any trouble would be if I was working, they effectively gave me the right to throw him out any time he might show up. Yes, I love my management. They too are badasses.
Naturally, Dick showed up there. I told him to pound sand, he wasn't allowed in the building. He ignored me, pushed by me, and went to try to suck up to Red, though her icy demeanor and Dad looking daggers at Dick probably clued him in to the fact that this wasn't going to work. So he gave Red the keys (you know, the keys that he didn't have/didn't know where they were/were in the flowerpot on the other side of town?) and left. When he pushed by me, I turned to the manager on duty and told her, "He's the guy I told you about." Being a smart girl, she said, "I'll call Boss." Boss was upstairs. Boss is also a large, heavily bearded, heavily tattooed guy who is the picture of Don't Fuck With This. He basically looks like a roadie for ZZ Top. Not someone skinny ole Dick would be likely to even THINK about fucking with. Dad used to be a badass, and Dick thinks he's a badass, but Boss IS a badass.
Sadly, by the time Boss got downstairs, Dick had already left, having gotten nowhere with Red. Boss looks at me and says with a smile, "Dude, why didn't you keep him here long enough for me to wrestle him to the sidewalk?" Boss is not only a badass, he's hilarious!
So Dad and I talk to Red for a while, and while she knows academically (as a woman with a psychology degree) that what we're saying is all true, she can't help (as a woman in a dysfunctional relationship) but try to defend him. She tried to put a lot of the blame on the drugs, but we pointed out that he made the decision to use the drugs. "But addiction is a condition." Yes, but he sees what it's doing to you, and not taking any steps to fight his addiction or seek help. And you have to be more concerned about your well-being than his. "But when he's not drugged up, the relationship is really good." Yes, but the relationship involves both the good and the bad, and the bad is really bad right now, and outweighs the good. "But this isn't really him; he's really sweet when he's not using." Actually, this IS him. Drugs don't create personality. They merely amplify something that is already there. When I am drinking and watching football and yelling loudly and even crazily at the tv, the alcohol didn't create that; it was already a part of me. The alcohol merely opens the gate wider to let it out more. In the same way, the drugs are letting whatever demons he already has inside him out more. Jekyll and Hyde are not different people; they are two sides of the same person, and thus both are real.
End result: while it pains her, she is going to ask him to move out, and begin eviction proceedings if he doesn't agree to it. While she is on the lease and he is not, state or local law (I'm not sure which) state that if someone has taken up residence in a place, whether or not they are on the lease, they cannot be forced to leave without eviction proceedings. (I know this all too well from my dealings with a psycho former roommate.) But from what I've heard from Red and Dad since, Dick is going to be getting out. She's bummed, because she cares about him and he "has no place to go," but she knows this the right thing, and she's just tired of dealing with the cycle of bullshit-lies-apologies-reconciliation. Dad and Red went and got Red's phone from Dick (even though he "didn't have it"), and went about getting things rolling. Later in the evening, on my way home, I drove by Red's place, just to make sure she was okay. By chance, I saw Dick riding down the street on his bicycle, with some of his things. (I presume they were his things.)
While I would be vaguely amused to see this dude "come at me," I think the best thing would be if he just went away and bothered someone else, and left Red alone. Red and I would both love to buy him a one-way ticket back to Ohio, but because he is on probation down here, he probably can't leave that easily. Damn shame. Not, of course, that he would actually use that ticket, but it would be nice to see him riding off out of the Keys on that bus.
So yeah, that was my amusing day. Fun day, huh? Wheeee!!!!
Now....who has the beer?
SHORT VERSION FOR THOSE WHO NEED IT QUICK: Friend's boyfriend, who's been binging on drugs, was a douche to her and me, kept her stuff from her, and today got in my face and threatened to assault me. Result: I filed a police report and she is having him move out of their place.
(Warning: This is a long story in general, and I tend to be a bit verbose. So buckle up, Buttercup...it's gonna be a long ride. And yes, there is probably a way to tell this in a much shorter way, but that's not exactly one of my talents. If you want the very short version, though, skip to the very last paragraph.)
My friend Little Red has been dating this guy for a few years. I'll call him Richard Cockhead. (It's French--the "douche" is silent.) I have never been a fan of this guy, as I basically think of him as dumb, white trash, useless, a druggie, and far, FAR beneath what she deserves or needs in her life. I used to call him a tool, but I realized that tools are actually useful.
Anyway, the last few months Richard--let's call him Dick--has become more and more of an asshole to Red, accusing her of various things she hasn't done, being difficult, starting arguments, being clingy, possessive, and jealous, and doing a lot more drugs. (More on the drugs in a bit.) He doesn't act jealous of ME, because he does have enough brain cells to rub together to realize that I am one of Red's closest friends, and any suggestions of impropriety will be met with laughter, and any demands of us not hanging out together will be ignored. So he's "cool" with me, but good luck with her having any other male friends or acquaintances without him accusing him of this, that, the other, and the other's twin brother. (For those of you who think like this sounds like the typical beginning of the age-old cycle that leads downhill into an abusive relationship, welcome to the club. There's some beer and snacks in the back, and the buffet will open shortly.)
Well, two nights ago Red and I decided to see The Hobbit last night, since both she and I were working yesterday day, and we both had the night off, and Dick was working the night shift. (Red and Dick work at the same place. I don't think it's the best idea, but this guy is not exactly the most employable person, as he has no driver's license, a smattering of job experience, a checkered job history, a criminal record (he's currently on probation), and likes to dabble in drugs. (Seriously, there will be some commentary on that later, I promise.) And by "dabble" I mean, of course, do way too much of them for someone who's supposed to be a responsible adult.
Anyway, when she got off work and he started, and she told him her plans, he got all pissy, wondering why she wouldn't spend Christmas with him...while he's working....at the job she just worked many hours at...while he's working. Going out on a limb here, but I am guessing she wanted to have some fun, and not hang around while tourists ordered burgers and fries. Just a guess.
Well, the got in a big argument, and she tried to leave with her backpack and bike, and he wouldn't let her. So she tried to leave with her backpack, and he wouldn't let her. Finally she just left, without her phone (he had grabbed that out of her hand and put it in his pocket), without her wallet, keys, or purse (in her backpack), and without, of course, her backpack or bike. She came to my bar, where I was enjoying a post-shift beer with some other friends. Naturally she was very emotional, and I spent the better part of that beer calming her down.
Knowing she needed her keys and phone, she and I went back to their job, where somehow her backpack had disappeared, and he had "no idea" where it was, as if some random person had come along and grabbed it out of her bike after she left, and he hadn't just hidden it. Riiiiiiiight. After several minutes of her alternating searching the area and arguing with Mr. Little Innocent, she got fed up, and we went off to dinner and the movie. (Dinner was great for her, but was the worst meal I ever had at that place; the movie rocked.)
After we got out of the theater, I noticed a text (or several) from Dick on my phone, asking me to have Red call him, text him, he just wanted to make sure she was alright, yada yada bullshit cupcakes yada. We ignored the texts, went to a nearby bar, and had a couple drinks. Then back to my place, where she planned on sleeping on my couch, and we broke open a bottle of wine, and talked about Dick and other things, like my new hammock chair swing on my balcony (which rocks).
Finally I called Dick and told him that I hadn't noticed his earlier text, as my phone was off from the theater, but I had dropped Red off at her Dad's. None of this was true, but lately he doesn't bother believing the truth, so it seemed pointless to tell him it, and honestly, we figured he wouldn't much like her crashing at my place. He claimed he had been to Dad's place, so really, where was she? Knowing full well that he was lying about being at Dad's place, I stuck to my story and got off the phone with him. After which he sent me various texts, all badly misspelled (he can't even spell my first name right, and it's RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM when he's typing the text!), one of which made me laugh. "I used to like you until tonight." Yeah, like I give a flying fuck about his opinion of me. Cue me ignoring his texts. Cue Red and I finishing the wine. Cue me providing Red with a sleeping bag for the small couch. Cue Red crashing. Cue me going into my room and crashing. Good night, drop the curtain, end Act One.
Act Two began this morning. Since I had to go to work at my last shift at the toy store, Red and I figured I'd drive us downtown, we'd walk to her and Dick's place of employment, since he was scheduled to open, and just tell him I had picked her up at her Dad's house, since she had no bike, keys, or phone. And after she got her keys from him, she'd go home and shower and chill.
Anyone wanna bet how much that went according to plan? If you bet on "not even close," congratulations! So rather than being conciliatory, remorseful, or apologetic for being a raging douchebag the night before, Dick starts right in with Red again, clearly high on something, and clearly trying to lay the blame on her for, well, pretty much everything. As if I am somehow going to believe his every word and doubt my friend. Riiiiiiight. And then, he lays into me. Without me ever raising my voice, this is about how it went...
DICK: "Jester, you need to respect me, and tell me where Red is when I ask you." JESTER: "Dick, I told you where she was."
DICK: "Jester, I was hanging with her Dad at his house at 4 am (no he wasn't) and she wasn't there."
JESTER: "Whatever."
DICK: "Dude, you need to give me respect."
JESTER: "Respect is earned. I don't just give it."
DICK: "Fuck you."
JESTER: "Whatever."
Cue more arguing between Red and Dick, in which he continues to lie about...well, everything. Blah blah blah we've heard this before crumbcakes blah. Red, realizing we are getting NOWHERE, decides it would be best if she and I leave the situation, head to the toy store, and with my phone call her Dad, figuring he could get her keys from Dick. As we start walking away.....
DICK: "Jester, I will find you and fuck you up."
JESTER: "That would be the worst mistake you ever made."
And Red and I kept walking, figuring that Dick was at his job, so we could, ya know, get away from his idiocy. Not to be. Dick comes running up to us and starts in some more, first insisting that Red go back to their job and talk to him (she was done with that crap), then laying into her more, and then turning on me. Getting right up into my face, with his face and fist at different times literally a couple inches from my face, he continued to threaten me, saying he was going to "knock you out." Never losing my calm, I just stared at him, waiting for him to make a move, and calmly telling him, "That wouldn't be a good idea."
I honestly expected him to take a swipe at me, and I had a few ideas of how I would react. My basic plan was to drop down, punch him in the nuts, then grab his head and slam it into my knee. Dirty? Sure. Do I care? Nope. Not even slightly. I was not planning on being "honorable" with this drugged up lunatic. For the record, he has a few inches in height on me, but we are probably about the same weight. And he thinks he is a much bigger badass than he actually is. Skinny White Boy Syndrome. Anyway, for whatever reason, he never actually threw down, and finally we were able to walk away and get to the toy store, as he returned to his job. (Must be nice having a job where you can run half a block up the street and threaten physical assault on someone. Would have been interesting to see what, if anything, his boss did if he actually did strike me.)
So at the toy store, I let Red use my phone to call her Dad, and she explains what has happened. Dad agrees to go talk to Dick and try to get the keys from him. Dick has lots of respect for Dad, and knows that, while he is older know (sixties), Dad used to be a major badass, and he would not fuck with Dad, nor do anything TOO stupid with Red in front of Dad.
Once Red is off the phone with Dad, I call the local police department's non-emergency number. While waiting to speak to a live human, Red meekly asks me if I would change my mind about this, as Dick could get in trouble, being on probation and all. I told her, "Darlin', it's one thing when it's between you and him. But he crossed that line and made it between him and me, and I am NOT going to play his little game. If he comes at me, I will either put him into the dirt, or file a police report, or both. But I am not playing this shit with him. Period." She nodded; she never expected me to change my mind. (I've been known to be a bit stubborn.)
A little while later a uniformed officer came and took my statement, and said it would be filed as an incident report, that he would talk with Dick, and that if anything happened in the future, to call the PD and reference the report number he gave me. Amusingly, when he was taking down the information, he asked, "Do you know this person?" Why yes, yes I do. His name is Richard Cockhead, he lives at 123 Douchebag Lane, his phone number is 305-555-5555, and he works over here if you'd like to talk to him in person rather than on the phone." Yeah, that felt gooood. (Did I mention I've never really liked this sonofabitch?) Cop was really nice, and seemed to understand that this was not really a domestic situation; I made it really clear that this was not some love triangle, and that there is nothing going on with Red and I, lest the PD think it's just some guys squabbling over a girl.
Dad showed up having spent some time talking to Dick, but having not gotten the keys or anything else from him; this time, Dick claimed Red's keys were in a particular flower pot. (We didn't bother going to the apartment to look; we knew he was full of shit.) Dad and Red and I talked; Dad appreciated me being there for Red. Dad told me this pains him, because he likes and cares for Dick; I told him I don't have that problem, as I can't stand the little shit, and that Red can do much better. Dad agreed with that last part.
Naturally during this, Dick called Dad to try to talk to Red; Red wanted no part of it. So, being the moron that he is, Dick tried relaying messages through Dad to Red, basically trying to carry on the conversation using Dad as an intermediary. Dad squashed that quick, making it really clear that that was NOT going to happen, and that Dick and Red would have to work things out between the two of them, not through a third person on the phone. By the way, did I mention that Dad not only doesn't put up with any bullshit, but is a former badass?
So Dad and Red and I retired to my bar for some munchies and beverages. Since The Bar is the only place where I know Dick knows to look for me, I talked to management, and banned Dick from the place. They don't really know him, of course, but since the only reason he'd be there to cause any trouble would be if I was working, they effectively gave me the right to throw him out any time he might show up. Yes, I love my management. They too are badasses.
Naturally, Dick showed up there. I told him to pound sand, he wasn't allowed in the building. He ignored me, pushed by me, and went to try to suck up to Red, though her icy demeanor and Dad looking daggers at Dick probably clued him in to the fact that this wasn't going to work. So he gave Red the keys (you know, the keys that he didn't have/didn't know where they were/were in the flowerpot on the other side of town?) and left. When he pushed by me, I turned to the manager on duty and told her, "He's the guy I told you about." Being a smart girl, she said, "I'll call Boss." Boss was upstairs. Boss is also a large, heavily bearded, heavily tattooed guy who is the picture of Don't Fuck With This. He basically looks like a roadie for ZZ Top. Not someone skinny ole Dick would be likely to even THINK about fucking with. Dad used to be a badass, and Dick thinks he's a badass, but Boss IS a badass.
Sadly, by the time Boss got downstairs, Dick had already left, having gotten nowhere with Red. Boss looks at me and says with a smile, "Dude, why didn't you keep him here long enough for me to wrestle him to the sidewalk?" Boss is not only a badass, he's hilarious!
So Dad and I talk to Red for a while, and while she knows academically (as a woman with a psychology degree) that what we're saying is all true, she can't help (as a woman in a dysfunctional relationship) but try to defend him. She tried to put a lot of the blame on the drugs, but we pointed out that he made the decision to use the drugs. "But addiction is a condition." Yes, but he sees what it's doing to you, and not taking any steps to fight his addiction or seek help. And you have to be more concerned about your well-being than his. "But when he's not drugged up, the relationship is really good." Yes, but the relationship involves both the good and the bad, and the bad is really bad right now, and outweighs the good. "But this isn't really him; he's really sweet when he's not using." Actually, this IS him. Drugs don't create personality. They merely amplify something that is already there. When I am drinking and watching football and yelling loudly and even crazily at the tv, the alcohol didn't create that; it was already a part of me. The alcohol merely opens the gate wider to let it out more. In the same way, the drugs are letting whatever demons he already has inside him out more. Jekyll and Hyde are not different people; they are two sides of the same person, and thus both are real.
End result: while it pains her, she is going to ask him to move out, and begin eviction proceedings if he doesn't agree to it. While she is on the lease and he is not, state or local law (I'm not sure which) state that if someone has taken up residence in a place, whether or not they are on the lease, they cannot be forced to leave without eviction proceedings. (I know this all too well from my dealings with a psycho former roommate.) But from what I've heard from Red and Dad since, Dick is going to be getting out. She's bummed, because she cares about him and he "has no place to go," but she knows this the right thing, and she's just tired of dealing with the cycle of bullshit-lies-apologies-reconciliation. Dad and Red went and got Red's phone from Dick (even though he "didn't have it"), and went about getting things rolling. Later in the evening, on my way home, I drove by Red's place, just to make sure she was okay. By chance, I saw Dick riding down the street on his bicycle, with some of his things. (I presume they were his things.)
While I would be vaguely amused to see this dude "come at me," I think the best thing would be if he just went away and bothered someone else, and left Red alone. Red and I would both love to buy him a one-way ticket back to Ohio, but because he is on probation down here, he probably can't leave that easily. Damn shame. Not, of course, that he would actually use that ticket, but it would be nice to see him riding off out of the Keys on that bus.
So yeah, that was my amusing day. Fun day, huh? Wheeee!!!!
Now....who has the beer?
SHORT VERSION FOR THOSE WHO NEED IT QUICK: Friend's boyfriend, who's been binging on drugs, was a douche to her and me, kept her stuff from her, and today got in my face and threatened to assault me. Result: I filed a police report and she is having him move out of their place.
Comment