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  • CS.com Stig Facts

    Inspired by this post, let's have some fun here and post "Stig Facts" about CS.com'ers.

    If you don't know what "Stig Facts" are, check out this compilation someone made. Top Gear UK's "tame racing driver," The Stig is a figure shrouded in mystery, and his power laps in the cars that Top Gear is testing are usually prefaced by Jeremy Clarkson stating these facts.

    Example: "Some say he never blinks... and that he lives in the forest, where he forages for wolves... all we know is, he's called The Stig!"

    These facts are, of course, probably made up. So feel free to make up facts, or just stretch what is known to the point of incredulity.

    I'll start us off.



    Some say she can speak in Braille... and that if she ever had a normal day, it would signal the end of times... all we know is, she's called Seraph!

    Some say he legally changed his name from Miscreant... and that if he were to ever tap his heels together three times, he could affect the tides... all we know is, he's called Rapscallion!

    Some say he sold his soul in exchange for his scathing wit... and that his tears can be used to clean precious metals... all we know is, he's called Gravekeeper!

    Some say he fell to Earth in a comet... and that he has a map of Phoenix, Arizona tattooed on the inside of his chest... all we know is, he's called Jester!

    Anyone else care to join in?
    PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

    There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

  • #2
    Some say he was born a pony....but now he can show that he's not bony, he's called RetailWorkhorse!
    The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

    Now queen of USSR-Land...

    Comment


    • #3
      Some say that he's worshipped in the Northlands as a god...and his voice was the inspiration for the THX sound effect. All we know is, he's called the Gravekeeper!

      Some say that he was the inspiration for at least three separate Congressional bills about sexual harrassment...and that he's had his middle name legally changed to "Pundragon." All we know is, he's called Dalesys!

      Some say her phone number actually starts with "555"...and that Samuel L. Jackson has read her bedtime stories. All we know is, she's called ShinyGreenApple!

      Some say that his other job IS The Stig...and that his tears are actually made of beer. All we know is, he's called customersruinmylife!

      Quoth Jay 2K Winger View Post
      Some say he fell to Earth in a comet... and that he has a map of Phoenix, Arizona tattooed on the inside of his chest... all we know is, he's called Jester!
      Sweet!

      "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
      Still A Customer."

      Comment


      • #4
        Some say she can type 90 words per minute using only the power of her mind. or that she once lost an argument to a shrubbery. all we know is she is called FMA_Fanatic
        Lister: This is Crazy. Why are we talking about going to bed with Wilma Flintstone?
        Cat: You're right. We're Nuts! This is an insane conversation....
        Lister: She'll never leave Fred and we know it.

        Comment


        • #5
          Like Guido & Nunzio, I'll say "No convictions."
          I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
          Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
          Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

          Comment


          • #6
            Some say her voice can be used to cure hiccups... and that she knows two facts about ducks, and both of them are wrong... all we know is, she's called Kheldarson!

            Some say he was born in the 80s, with an eye for the ladies... and that he has a vacation home in Saturn orbit... all we know is, he's called KabeRinnaul!

            Some say he's got a second heart... but not where you'd expect it... and that he's got a room in his basement where he tortures mimes... all we know is, he's called Jester!

            Some say he's incapable of seeing the color blue... and that every four years, he has to be rotated to face galactic north... all we know is, he's not Jester, but he is Jester's English cousin, customersruinmylife!
            PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

            There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

            Comment


            • #7
              Hilarious!

              Quoth Jay 2K Winger View Post
              Some say he's got a second heart... but not where you'd expect it...
              It's in the skillet, actually.



              Quoth Jay 2K Winger View Post
              and that he's got a room in his basement where he tortures mimes... all we know is, he's called Jester!
              Basement? Mimes? I have no idea what you're talking about. What basement? What mimes? What bloodcurdling screams at odd hours of the night? I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, you can't prove anything. Seriously, I have no idea what you're talking about.

              Quoth Jay 2K Winger View Post
              ...he's not Jester, but he is Jester's English cousin, customersruinmylife!
              Oh, TOO freakin' funny!


              "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
              Still A Customer."

              Comment


              • #8
                Some say he can fight like the knights of ni....others say he can control fireballs...he's called Nyoibo!
                The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

                Now queen of USSR-Land...

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth Jay 2K Winger View Post
                  ...and that he's got a room in his basement where he tortures mimes...
                  Quoth Jester View Post
                  What bloodcurdling screams at odd hours of the night?
                  Not very good mimes, are they?

                  SC
                  "...four of his five wits went halting off, and now is the whole man governed with one..." W. Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing Act I, Sc I

                  Do you like Shakespeare? Join us The Globe Theater!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Some say that he can think up comebacks at the drop of a hat....others say that he keeps them in a book. Ah who cares, we all know it's Jay 2K Winger!
                    The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

                    Now queen of USSR-Land...

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Some say that when her job writing obits got slow, she would go out and drum up business. Others say that she was drummed out of the WWE for illegal use of a water bison. All we know is that she's called MystyGlyttyr!
                      The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
                      "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
                      Hoc spatio locantur.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Some say that he owns a pig farm outside Mechanicsburg... and that his hat is actually a sentient creature... and carnivorous... all we know is, he's called Geek King!

                        Some say she can shoot acid from her eye sockets ... and that every time you don't use the Report button properly, she rips the wings off a fairy... all we know is, she's called RecoveringKinkoid!

                        Some say at all of his legs are hydraulic... and that his hair points magnetic north... all we know is, he's called smileyeagle1021!
                        PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

                        There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth BroSCFischer View Post
                          Not very good mimes, are they?
                          Either that...or the torture is very effective...

                          "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                          Still A Customer."

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Some say he can sniff out cars that need to be towed while blindfolded...and that he was born with a gearshift in his right hand. All we know is, he's called Argabarga!
                            Goofy music!
                            Old tech junk!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Funny, I always thought his right hand WAS a gear shift!

                              "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                              Still A Customer."

                              Comment

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