"This is an imposter band!" (Long, lil bit of language)

[WolfGirl37]

First time posting, so please be kind. This lil tale is from my days at Borders, working as a cashier. Around evening, I had an older gentleman come up to my register. He looked pissed right out of the gate. Uh oh. Before I could get my greeting out, the SC *slams* the item, a CD, down. Clearly opened. You can see where this is going...
Me: *waves*
SC: Crazy old guy

Me: Hi, how can I help you?
SC: I wanna return this!!!
Me: (having already noted CD being open but wanting to try and calm him, I compliment his purchase) Oh, The Doors, LA Woman. Great album! Okay, well, I see that the CD has been opened. Did it not work for ya? I can see if we have another copy, if you like."
SC: "No, dammit, I just want to return it!"
Note that he had no reciept and it was open and working. Our policy on opened media was unless is was damaged or defective, you're SOL. I try and put this as gently as I can.
Me: "I'm sorry sir, but since it's been opened, we can't take it back. If you'd like, (store) down the street buys d -"
He cuts me off with...this:
SC: "No, no, NO!!! This is an IMPOSTER BAND!!! This isn't The Doors!!"
Me: (I'm actually rendered momentarily speechless by this bizarre statement) "Umm, I can assure you sir, that is definitely The Doors' LA Woman, I've got it at home myself." (probably not the best thing to say, but hey, I know my Doors albums, dangit) I gently reiterate policy once more, to which he repeats that it's an "imposter band"....loudly. He then proceeds to tell this to other nearby customers, who try to just ignore him. I supress a and offer to call a manager. I do so and ask him if he would please move to the last register, the manager will be right with him. Nope. He refuses to budge. Great...So I call for backup, but my manager thankfully shows up quickly, so I attend to my remaining customers. That's the end of it, right? Wrong! I can hear my manager arguing with this guy, and hear him going on about how Borders doesn't care about customers and yet again with the imposter nonsense.They go around and around for a few more minutes, then...he calls her a bitch. She tells him to leave. He refuses, so she threatens to call the cops. He calls her a bitch again and basically says go for it. She picks up the phone, and at this point, the biggest guy in the store (6'4, 350, trained martial artist...whoo!) comes up front and gives the SC a look that says "I am going to eat you." The SC decided it wise to leave then.

I think the real issue here is that he was a child of the 60s and 70s...and you know what they say if you can remember those days...you weren't really there.

[RootedPhoenix]

Why...how...O_o

I'm glad the cool customer saved you guys. Eeep.

[dalesys]

This door swings both ways, it swings in and out...

Now don't let it hit your brains as you leave!

[WolfGirl37]

RootedPhoenix: Even better, he was a cool coworker who saved the day many a time!
Dalesys: Ha! Yeah, I think that guy left his brain back in the 60s!

[lordlundar]

I had similar when I worked retail. I answered the phone one day and on the other end the lunatic was demanding a cash refund for the game he bought with his reason for the return was that the game graphics weren't the same quality as on the case. I told him that if it was defective we could replace it for another copy or possibly an in store credit with receipt upon manager approval but if he wanted a full refund he would have to contact the publisher directly. That's when he dropped this little bombshell:

"Either you give me a full cash refund or take down every copy of the game you have on your shelves."

Yup, I laughed on the phone which proceeded to piss him off further. I had to inform him that the only ones that could order us to do that are publisher/manufacturer or the government and (after it being called a bait and switch) a single individual complaint about a game cover does not a bait and switch scam make. He then demanded to speak to a manager so I put him on hold and grabbed the manager on duty, apologizing in advance. Lather, rinse, repeat with him. Needless to say, no dice on the return or the pull down demand.

Sad part is I never did find out the title.

[gremcint]

I had similar when I worked retail. I answered the phone one day and on the other end the lunatic was demanding a cash refund for the game he bought with his reason for the return was that the game graphics weren't the same quality as on the case.

First off they rarely are second off he probably has a shit graphics card and the game was fine.

[dalesys]

Dalesys: Ha! Yeah, I think that guy left his brain back in the 60s!

Well L.A. Woman is the 70s Doors, not the 60s Doors...

[Jay 2K Winger]

Eesh, guy, come back to the store once you've got your neurochemistry re-balanced.

As for the OP, welcome to Customers Suck! We have cookies, bacon (provided that RetailWorkhorse hasn't eaten it all), and brain bleach on hand. If you need booze, talk to Jester. If you need bad puns or gutter humor, talk to dalesys. When you need pants, talk to Gravekeeper.

Yes, when, not if, you need pants.

Which brings me to my next point...

Surrender your pants.

[Catwoman2965]

Reminds me of an exchange I witness last weekend at the Bullseye store. I had a return, and as I was waiting in line, I could hear the employee attempting to explain to a customer why they were not able to return the opened R-rated movie her 12 year old had purchased. He kept trying to calmly tell her it was not STORE policy, but actualy copyright law that prevented him from taking it back. She was using every excuse in the book, its r-rated, my son is only 12,etc. But sadly, his hands were tied. Don't know how it ended as I was able to do my return in about 30 seconds.

[RetailWorkhorse]

Surrender your pants.

*Drops drawers*

Bacon, please!

[WolfGirl37]

Well L.A. Woman is the 70s Doors, not the 60s Doors...

Oops, my bad! That's what I get for replying at 5am. Derp!

[WolfGirl37]

Which brings me to my next point...

Surrender your pants.

*surrenders pants* Yaaaay, I'm the Queen of No Pants!!!!

[mikoyan29]

I miss Borders. Although I miss *THE* Borders on State Street.

[Argabarga]

"We're an imposter band!"

"We're an imposter band!"

"We're comin' to your store!'

"We'll help these morons score!"

"We're an imposter band!"

"Hey! Hey! Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyy!"

[Jester]

For those who may be confused or may not be all that knowledgeable about The Doors, let me explain that the only difference between The Doors of the 60s and The Doors of the 70s was that The Doors of the 70s were more refined musicians and artists, and strived to make their craft the best it could be. The band was the exact same, but some fans may have been confused by a somewhat different, bluesier sound.

In short, L.A. Woman rocked, and to many fans, was the best Doors album ever. I am guessing the guy was looking for more of "Break On Through," and was thrown by the fine, well-performed bluesy rock on L.A. Woman.