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Tales from the Hotel/Lounge: "Federal Agent" Edition

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  • Tales from the Hotel/Lounge: "Federal Agent" Edition

    Just had a guy come up to the desk, and tell me to have a "white guy in a baseball cap" go to his room, as he was a "Federal Agent" about to "pick up some guys" who had "killed a kid".

    Why I am suspicious:

    #1). The "Federal Agent"'s description of the individual I was to send away was quite vague.
    #2). The "Federal Agent" told me to deal with an individual, even though I have no real power to do so (he, as a "Federal Agent" would have more authority than I)
    #3). At no time did he identify WHICH Federal Agency he was with (FBI, ATF, DEA, FDA, etc.)
    #4). At no time did he present identification to prove his status as a Federal Agent.

    I dunno, but I doubt he is a "Federal Agent".

    SC

    BONUS: In #3 above, "One of these things is not like the others, one of these things just doesn't belong..."
    "...four of his five wits went halting off, and now is the whole man governed with one..." W. Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing Act I, Sc I

    Do you like Shakespeare? Join us The Globe Theater!

  • #2
    The DEA! No F. <_<

    Comment


    • #3
      Quoth Scorpodael View Post
      The DEA! No F. <_<
      Nope.

      UPDATE:

      Apparently he identified himself as a Federal Marshal to the bartender, but still didn't show ID.

      SC
      "...four of his five wits went halting off, and now is the whole man governed with one..." W. Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing Act I, Sc I

      Do you like Shakespeare? Join us The Globe Theater!

      Comment


      • #4
        I'm going to go with the FDA. No arresting power.
        Low lie the Fields of Athenry/ Where once we watched the small free birds fly/ Our love was on the wing/ we had dreams and songs to sing/ It's so lonely around the Fields of Athenry

        Comment


        • #5
          Quoth Andrew B. View Post
          I'm going to go with the FDA. No arresting power.
          Yep.

          I actually meant that the FDA wasn't a law enforcement agency, but you're close enough.

          SC
          "...four of his five wits went halting off, and now is the whole man governed with one..." W. Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing Act I, Sc I

          Do you like Shakespeare? Join us The Globe Theater!

          Comment


          • #6
            Does this mean you have a former Survivor player, Phillip Sheppard staying at your hotel?
            To right the countless wrongs of our days... We shine this light of true redemption, that this place may become as paradise...Oh, what a wonderful world such would be...

            Comment


            • #7
              Federal, Schmederal, I've towed the REAL feds before!
              - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

              Comment


              • #8
                yeah. ask for ID.
                betcha he doesn't have any. he'd have some cockamany story about how his ID is "classified" and that's why he doesn't have it. And then he'll probably play the "offended" card. (It's a popular tactic used by the fuckheads who pretend to be Navy Seals... and oh do they get OFFENDED when Don Shipley calls them out on it. )


                then you can call the cops on him for impersonating a federal agent. IIRC that IS a federal offense.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth BroSCFischer View Post
                  #3). At no time did he identify WHICH Federal Agency he was with (FBI, ATF, DEA, FDA, etc.)

                  BONUS: In #3 above, "One of these things is not like the others, one of these things just doesn't belong..."
                  You're all wrong! The answer is "etc". It's the only one that's not any kind of agency at all.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Nah. He's an agent of the TFH Brigade, protecting us from alien rays.
                    I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                    Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                    Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth Argabarga View Post
                      Federal, Schmederal, I've towed the REAL feds before!
                      I've changed their oil-only one they trusted to do so
                      (U.S. Marshalls, if anyone cares-they pointed to me and said-"only she can touch that vehicle",apparently I looked trustworthy )
                      Honestly.... the image of that in my head made me go "AWESOME!"..... and then I remembered I am terribly strange.-Red dazes

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                      • #12
                        Quoth Mr Hero View Post
                        Does this mean you have a former Survivor player, Phillip Sheppard staying at your hotel?
                        Dammit you beat me to it! Still that guy was awesome. I ended up watching that season just for him.
                        Some people just need a high five...

                        In the face with the back of a chair....

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth Argabarga View Post
                          Federal, Schmederal, I've towed the REAL feds before!
                          I'm still working my way through all the classic Argabarga stories, but this one doesn't ring a bell. Has it been posted?

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Quoth Grendus View Post
                            I'm still working my way through all the classic Argabarga stories, but this one doesn't ring a bell. Has it been posted?
                            Right Here!

                            SC
                            "...four of his five wits went halting off, and now is the whole man governed with one..." W. Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing Act I, Sc I

                            Do you like Shakespeare? Join us The Globe Theater!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Even if this joker was actually a federal agent of some sort--and there are all kinds of reasons to suspect he wasn't--you, as a person who is not a federal agent, have no authority to tell someone where to go, i.e., "Hey you in the ballcap, go up to room 305. Now." Um, no. And if he was a federal agent, it's rather lazy and incompetent of him to rely on someone else without his authority to, I dunno, do his fucking job for him.

                              Idiot.

                              Personally, my money is on not a federal agent of any kind, and if he has anything to do with the federal government, it's probably because they want to talk to him in a professional capacity...and not as a colleague.

                              "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                              Still A Customer."

                              Comment

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