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My most useless (L)user

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  • My most useless (L)user

    So yesterday morning I get an email from my least favorite user. He is a dangerous combination of, "does not know crap about computers" and "thinks he knows everything about computers".

    About a month ago he emails me saying that a link he needs to run a report off our accounting software has "Vanished." And that he had know idea what happened. I remind him that he is the person that 'accidently' deleted whole directories out of his user folder. Denied it vehemently, untill I coughed up the logs showing that he totally did. I grabbed a link to the report and dropped it directly on his desktop, and sent him a email saying "here you go, I put it on your desktop. Give it a try and let me know."

    Yesterday I get an email from him. But wait, its not just an email! It is an forward of the email he sent me asking for help last month. But wait there is more, he cced my boss. And the new text basically said "I can not run my report its been over a month"

    oh its on now

    So I send the ticket info and complete email chain to my boss to let him know I did take care of him. Then went to see why he could not run the report. I should mention that I was off site and could not remote into his computer to fix it, all the correspondence was done with my phone.


    My reply to his forward went something like this;

    "This is why its important to test the link when asked the first time. And not wait until you need it again. You also got the closed ticket notification and did not reopen.

    I have placed another shortcut on your desktop (i was just getting ready to leave). Remember you need to log into the terminal server to use the link; No one, including myself, is allowed to access the database over VPN."
    I did CC his boss too

    A little while later he sent this reply

    "Well it was working fine until you upgraded the server! I clicked on the shortcut and this happened"
    He included a screenshot with the report erroring out. I did note that the report was in edit mode in the screenshot. Very Interesting. I emailed the CFO, hes very good with the reporting software and he sent out a report file so my special little snowflake could run it. Including language like "I just ran it and it works fine". So once the report went out I sent him this email.


    Download the file from the email the CFO sent you and place it on your computers desktop.

    Log into the remote desktop(terminal server)

    The file should appear on the desktop of the terminal instance.

    Run the file by double clicking.


    If for some reason you do not see the file, return to your computer’s desktop and right click on the file and select copy.

    Go back to the desktop on the terminal instance, right click on the desktop and select paste.

    Run the file by double clicking once it downloads.


    Also the server upgrade was a replacement ram chip. So it was more like a repair. Plus, your desktop files are not even stored on that server. They are on the user profile server.
    He sends me back a reply and a screenshot.

    "This is what happens when I try to run the attachment"
    The screenshot is of Microsoft Word having a meltdown trying to read a crystal report file. I punched the wall. He also tried to drop the CC to his boss and my boss. Not so fast id10.

    "You do not have the software on your computer to run the file. You need to save it to your desktop then log into the terminal server"
    5 minutes later, he replies

    "It did not work"
    I went to my happy place for a second, cause I was about to lose it. I replied and then more happy place.


    Copying the file from the email to your desktop?

    Logging into the terminal service?

    The crystal report on the terminal server?
    His reply

    I copied the file to my desktop and I have not been able to do anything else.
    ok, ok getting there

    Log into the terminal server and run the file
    I did, and outlook came up
    OMFG.

    You copied the email itself, you need the file out of the email
    I did, and this is what happened
    He sent another screenshot, I could clearly see that the email was on his desktop along with the crystal report file he needed to run. So I told him to run the file in between two icons. And final after so much time and effort.

    That worked, thanks.


    Later his boss called me asking what the issue was. My brain to mouth filter stopped working, but its all good because I fairly certain he needs a new monitor now.

    He was dropped on his head as a baby

  • #2
    heh. considering it sounds like his boss read all the CCs from both of you i'm betting the boss is thinking the same thing.

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