My best friend was just taken away in a police car...

[Eevie]

This was supposed to be an awesome day today... Went to Olive Garden with my parents, bought the new Pokemon game that came out today, and we were going to be having steak and baked potatoes for dinner, my absolute favorite....

But oh, Sir Universe, you seem to not like it when things are going good for me lately, you love making my life just that much more challenging.

As the title states, my best friend was arrested today. We're neighbors, the two of us, grew up together as little kids and we still go to school together. He's the closest thing to an older brother I have.

But let me paint a little picture of his home life;

*Father is gone almost all of the time; when said father is gone, all hell breaks loose.
*Mother is a VERY (psychotic) religious type who shoved her beliefs down his throat from birth.
*There is constant fighting between the couple, their marriage isn't doing all that well.
*Not to mention my friend (probably because of his mother) is Athiest. His mother says, "the Devil has possessed him and he needs the cleansing of Jesus or he'll end up in the fires of Hell" (Actual quote). It doesn't end there, she has a history with verbal abuse. Enough to where he's called me down via text so his mom will leave him alone for a little bit. Although usually she just keeps berating him right in front of me. (Thank god she doesn't know I'm agnostic...)


On top of all that, he's dating a girl who his mother HATES. Even better, the girlfriend's mother hates her and threatened to call police and CPS on her.

Yeah... Very nice, huh?


Well, as I was playing my new game, waiting for dinner to finish, another neighbor, D, we'll call him, comes to the door telling us about the squad cars in front my friend's home.

After about 45 minutes of waiting and watching, and having no idea what was going on, I see my friend, in handcuffs, being shoved into a police car with his family watching.

I still don't know what caused it, why this happened, but it feels like a punch to the gut. He'll be 18 on the 30th, so whatever the hell happened he'll be charged as an adult.

I just wish I could talk to him about what's going on. I know he can have a bit of a temper. His mom won't tell me anything, and I still have zero idea what's going on. It's only 7:40 and I feel exhausted... Prayers, good words, anything right now...

[Amina516]

Good vibes from me to you.

Be patient and wait to hear whatever information you can. It could be that he'll call you from wherever he ended up. Otherwise, if you still dont get word, id keep your eye on the newspaper. It might end up there.

[Eevie]

UPDATE: From what I hear, he hit his little brother. I don't know what happened before, or how it escalated. My friend isn't the type to do something like that without being prodded at first. The brother that was hit is kinda a brat. He's in the 7th grade and the middle child. So I can only imagine how that started...

[Sapphire Silk]

UPDATE: From what I hear, he hit his little brother. I don't know what happened before, or how it escalated. My friend isn't the type to do something like that without being prodded at first. The brother that was hit is kinda a brat. He's in the 7th grade and the middle child. So I can only imagine how that started...

Hate to say it but no matter how much of a brat the kid is, your friend has no right to hit him.

However, the real blame goes to the mother, who created the dysfunctional home. However, that's only a mitigating factor if he goes to trial and gets sentenced, not for purposes of proving innocence or guilt.

Is this the first time your friend has been in trouble? If so, he might be able to get his lawyer to get him deferred adjudication or probation before judgement. Basically, he pleads guilty, gets probation and if he complies with the conditions the conviction is wiped clean off his record after he finishes the terms of the probation (often counseling, community service, that sort of thing) as long as he doesn't get into any more trouble.

He needs to find another place to live: his mom is a poisonous snake and he needs to get away from her. Hopefully CPS will get involved after this.

[Eevie]

He needs to find another place to live: his mom is a poisonous snake and he needs to get away from her. Hopefully CPS will get involved after this.

I know. He crashed at D's house for a few days but kinda overstayed his welcome. He's that typical teen, laying around not doing much.

The big problem with his mom is that she won't get the professional help that she needs. She'll only go to her religious guide. She doesn't not want to take the steps to change. And she seems to think it'll happen if she prays for it. That's pretty much the same as just wishing...

About the little brother though, the kid needs professional help too. He's got the typical middle child syndrome and his family isn't very supportive of him. He's usually the start to a lot of fights in the house. I guess my friend just snapped. He usually never gets violent like that. And I've known this family for pretty much my entire life. A good two-thirds of it at least.

As far as I know, police has never been called to that house before. So I hope what you said can play a part...

All in all, I just wish he'd get some help. If CPS does step in, I just hope I'll still be able to see him. He's the kind of friend that we can call each other the names bitch, dickhead, whore, etc. and just laugh about it. We hardly (if ever) fight and the last thing I want is to be cut off from him...

[Seshat]

If he gets the sort of judge who is interested in solving problems, this may just be the best thing for him. He might get the help he needs, get out of that house, whatever.

You should be able to stay in contact with him, though he may end up not next-door to you.

[Caffienated_Caramel]

Wow...I hope that wench of a woman is taken away if the cps is called. *hugs*

[Pixilated]

Oh man, how awful ...

Sapphire Silk is correct: he shouldn't have hit his brother, no matter what. Hopefully the judge will get a good idea of what kind of family this is and take that into consideration, especially if it's his first brush with the law.

*snip*

He needs to find another place to live: his mom is a poisonous snake and he needs to get away from her.

ABSOLUTELY. He's 18 so he can get out of there and his mom will have no legal recourse to drag him back so she can "save" him.

The big problem with his mom is that she won't get the professional help that she needs.

Mom is a hopeless case; she's unlikely EVER to see any reason why she should change. Don't even think about that 'cause it's not going to happen.

Your friend and his sibling(s) are the ones that can still turn their lives around. Your friend is old enough to make his own decisions and plans so I hope he realizes that he does need help ... and gets it. His brother is probably young enough to still think he knows everything but perhaps he'll rethink that as he gets older and as he sees his older brother living a vastly different life once he's out of Mommy Dearest's orbit.

I can't imagine why you wouldn't be able to keep in touch with him. Maintaining contact with a childhood friend can only do him a world of good at this point.

[Eevie]

Mom is a hopeless case; she's unlikely EVER to see any reason why she should change. Don't even think about that 'cause it's not going to happen.

I can't imagine why you wouldn't be able to keep in touch with him. Maintaining contact with a childhood friend can only do him a world of good at this point.

She's "trying" to change. But it entails going to her "religious adviser" for help. And lots of prayer. Then she's surprised when nothings worked. It's a cycle for her.

And of course I'm keeping in touch with him. I've always been there for him. I've been there for his rants, break-ups, victories, etc. I just wish I could talk to him now... But I learned the jail he was taken to is really far off...

[Seshat]

Find out if he's allowed to accept phone calls, and if so, during what times.

When talking to the prison staff, find out what resources the prison has to help him turn his life around. Then when talking to him, encourage him to use them. There may well be a social worker, a counsellor, assorted education people, a library.

Yes, prisons are inherently horrible places, and the social environment in a prison can at best be described as dysfunctional. But our own Sapphire Silk has been a prison nurse, and Kira's a prison guard. There are good people working in the prison systems; if your friend tries, he'll hopefully find one or more of them. A social worker who isn't burned out yet can probably get him into a good foster home or group home once he's allowed out of the prison system; and with support to get a good education behind him.

[Pixilated]

Find out if he's allowed to accept phone calls, and if so, during what times.

*snip*

Also mail. Not quite as good as phone calls but it will remind him that someone's thinking of him.

I apologize; I probably shouldn't have been quite so snippy about Mom. But I feel that, if she continues to only go to her religious authorities for help, even though she can clearly see that nothing's improving, she's not really trying to change.

[RootedPhoenix]

Lots of hugs and prayers.

[Teysa]

Are you sure this isn't something that just got blown out of proportion? i.e. Little brother was being a pest, big brother had enough, and smacked him on the shoulder. Yes, he should not have hit his brother but that's still something that should have been taken care of in home. If everyone got arrested for hitting their younger siblings, the prisons would be even more overcrowded than they are now.

I hope everything works out for your friend. He's lucky to have someone like you who is willing to stand by him.

[telecom_goddess]

Ok I've talked to Sapphire Silk about this very thing before. I had a friend in jail for the same exact kind of charge (assault IV DV is what I'm guessing) Technically what he was charged with was breaking a protection order. He was supposed to be in for 2 weeks and was in for 2 months. He is out now and on probation. While he was in there I talked to him on the phone about every other day. I got an account going with Telmate, the company that contracts jail facility communications. Collect calls from jail are expensive, and while an account with telmate doesn't make them free by any stretch it's way cheaper than without the pre payment. So decide if you can afford that.

Another thing I did was write letters as someone mentioned. Write one every day if you can. And look up the rules on letters. There are LOTS of things you can not send, and envelopes have to be no bigger than a certain size and be absolutely plain.

If you want to pm me over this feel free. I know it's hard to wait for someone to get out of jail.

[Pixilated]

*snip*If everyone got arrested for hitting their younger siblings, the prisons would be even more overcrowded than they are now.
*snip*

Not to mention I look awful in orange ...