In two days time

[Spydyr]

Since this is my first post I thought I'd give a little background. I work in a c-store which recently was upgraded to a Fried Chicken to go restaurant/C-store.

At 8 pm each night we close our deli and begin to clean and shut down all the junk bac kthere, so what does this mean? It means SC's galore.

The 8:15 rush

The hot food case is empty.
SC: Do you have any chicken left?
Me: Only whats in the cold case (right next to the hot one, its brightly lit)
SC: You mean you don't have any left at all?
Me: None.
SC: My dog stole my last piece
Me: Well the frier is shut down, and would take 20 minutes to heat up and 13 more to fry a batch.
SC: Oh...

10:00 o'clocker

The store is closed. The lights are off. The canopy, sign, and wall sign are all off. In fact the closed sign is on.

SC walks up the door and tugs on the obviously locked door. Still not sure which one of these makes us appear open.

SC: Are you open?
Coworker: No, we're closed.
SC: I just need to get some gas
Me: Sir, we're closed.

Phone calls

SC: Is this the ******* near *****
Me: Yes.
SC: I have half a thing of bologna.
Me: Ok?
SC: I was wondering if I could bring it down and have it sliced.
Me: Sir, we don't have a deli slicer...
SC: Oh, then what should I do?
Me: Try ***** (the grocery store about 5 minutes up the road) they have a butcher there.
SC: I don't know if they would. Are you sure you can't?

[Silent-Hunter]

What indeed made him think you'd be open? When I see a store of any kind with all the lights off, I'll go try the door just in case, but then I'll leave if it's locked, like any sensible person would!

[Argabarga]

SC: Are you open?
Coworker: No, we're closed.
SC: I just need to get some gas
Me: Sir, we're closed.

Might as well be there to buy the Hope Diamond.

Closed means closed!

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Might as well be there to buy the Hope Diamond.

Closed means closed!

If I were looking to purchase the Hope Diamond, I'd call and make an appointment. But that's just me.

I smell something in the air and it's not my catbox . . .

[MoonCat]

"Half a thing of bologna," huh? Sounds like total bologna to me!!

And maybe it's me, but it seems like if I had something like that that needed to be sliced, I'd try, oh, I dunno, say a KITCHEN KNIFE.

[BroSCFischer]

I'd try, oh, I dunno, say a KITCHEN KNIFE.

Are you seriously suggesting placing a sharp object in this person's hands? I'm not sure I'd allow them to have safety scissors, let alone an unprotected blade.

SC

[wolfie]

And what store would allow their slicer to be used for customer-supplied meat (as opposed to slicing their own product for sale)? BIG liability issue, since the customer-supplied bologna is not under their control, and could contain unknown "nasties" that could contaminate the slicer - and anything sliced afterward.

I can see some terrorist organization (or lone nutbar) bringing in bologna injected with highly toxic (or infectious) material, and people buying meat sliced after the bologna getting their purchases contaminated. Tracking of casualties would show only "ate deli meat purchased at store X" as a common factor, and none of their stock would be contaminated - so where could it have come from?

[Caractacus_Potts]

Are you seriously suggesting placing a sharp object in this person's hands? I'm not sure I'd allow them to have safety scissors, let alone an unprotected blade.

SC

Bologna is soft. Give them a spork and let them go nuts.

[NateTheChops]

Welcome to the boards, my friend.

The 8:15 rush
SC: My dog stole my last piece

You'll get it back in two hours sir.

SC: I just need to get some gas

Try eating corn on the cob with some nice pasta. Works on me every time.

SC: I was wondering if I could bring it down and have it sliced.

I'm really sorry sir, but the truth of the matter is that we did own a slicer at one point and we became legally obligated to remove it from the store. I was trying to make meat pies and it turns out they missed a few steps in the movie I got the idea from.

[Thud-n-Blunder]

I heard that...

I can see some terrorist organization (or lone nutbar) bringing in bologna injected with highly toxic (or infectious) material, and people buying meat sliced after the bologna getting their purchases contaminated. Tracking of casualties would show only "ate deli meat purchased at store X" as a common factor, and none of their stock would be contaminated - so where could it have come from?

It doesn't even have to be someone with nefarious intent. One home-made-but-insufficiently-cured summer sausage that happened to get infected with botulism could ruin a lot of people's weeks.

I've made some sausages myself, and found out that most butcher shops and grocery stores are VERY protective of their gear... which makes sense, especially in light of the liability issues. It was inconvenient until we bit the bullet and got a slicer, but as I said, it makes sense.