Things I've learned from retail...

[Rocko]

Hello everyone, I had a different name on the old board but I decided to change it for the new boards. My first post ever was what I learned from retail and I think that this should be no different.

Things I 've learned from retail:

- If you think you've seen it all, something new comes up

- If there are five tables in a stack, a dark brown one on the bottom and four light ones on top, someone always wants the one on bottom

- If you work almost all night shifts, a tank of gas can go for almost a month

- Weekends off are an exception

- People will demand that you help them even if it is obvious you are on your lunch by the simple fact that you are holding a McDonald's bag

- The last hour of your shift before your days off is the longest hour of your life

- Despite the fact that you and most of your co-workers are a few years out of high school, everyone still acts like they're seventeen

- If your bitchy boss tells you that she is pregnant, DO NOT immediately say, "Well that explains a lot"

- Customers will move heaven and earth to try and get a discount

- If you show up everyday, may God have mercy on your soul if you try to call in, yet some people get to call in on weekends all the time

- It is entirely possible to be in the bathroom and hear your name or department called no less than three times

- Fewer things threaten your sanity more than an assistant manager-trainee trying to prove his/her worth to the bosses

- If you bust your ass, no one notices. You screw up once, everybody knows

- Getting pulled out of an air-conditioned store and being forced to push carts in almost 100 degree heat, plus another 80 degrees coming off of the asphalt, is apparantly no excuse for being a little irritable

So what have YOU learned?

* edited to add more things I've learned

[Knightmare]

Sadly, I've learned not to work too hard at your job. It goes against my work ethic (always to the best of my ability), but if I want an evening off, I have to.

When I worked at RadioShack, I got a pretty decent schedule. Mornings, some mid shifts, rarely closed. Then I noticed that I started closing 4 out of 5 days.

After a few weeks of this, I asked a co-worker why I was being punished. She told me that I was doing such a great job getting my work done at closing time, the boss decided I was to be the closer. Screw that. I rarely got a weekend off, and closing almost every night helping customers past closing time (Yay pre-paid cell phone sales! ) was really getting to me. So I started slacking off. The floor wouldn't be vaccuumed, the counters wouldn't be wiped down, the trash would sit by the back door for the opening crew, etc.

When asked by the kid, I mean manager, about it, I told him that I was too busy helping the customers that I couldn't get to it, unless I wanted to leave an hour (or more) later. Which I didn't.

"But that's why I chose you to close, the store looks great, blah blah blah."

If I'm doing such a great job, REWARD ME, don't punish me! Dolt.

Anyway, I am away from the Shack, and have been very happy since.

[Kitty]

I've learned that customers will ask you to do the weirdest stuff, like dropping limes to see if they are rotten or not...O_o; Surprising how only 5 days of register will teach you something you will never need to ever know. But now that I think about it...maybe knowing that isn't such a bad thing...maybe she will come back when it's really slow and ask me to drop watermelons from the top of the dairy cooler thing? Ha! I'm not that lucky.

[Crosshair]

I have learned the following things:

- Safety guidlines are only followed when a manager is around.

- No retail store or restaurant would ever pass an OSHA, fire marshal, or health inspection if they saw what happened when they where not around.

- Taking a #2 while on the clock is a very satisfying thing to do.

- "Dilbert" is non-fiction.

- When a store is going through an expansion/remodel, your floor space will go up, but your warehouse space will stay the same.

[appliance god]

I have learned that a customers sense of entitlement is inversely proportional to their sense of logic.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I have learned that customers alternatively expect you to know everything, and think you know nothing.

[blas]

The second that a customer walks into the door, something happens, like all brains were left at the door.

Case in point:
Sign says "Joe Blow toilet paper, 25% off 4 pack rolls...........

Customer reads: "Joe Blow toilet paper 25% off"

A customer's watch is always fast when a store is opening, and is always slow when a store is closing.

Case in point: It's 10:10 pm. Customer bangs on the door declaring that it's 9:58.

It's 5:45 am. Customer bangs on the door declaring that it's 6:00 and you need to open RIGHT NOW.

Some customers are so damn pampered and get everything they want, that they know that whining and bitching will get them coupons, gift cards, and more freebies than one could imagine.

[Becks]

You personally have it in for every customer who's credit/debit card is declined.

[Broomjockey]

I've learned the distance away and volume my voice has to be at in order to make snarky comments at a crappy customer.
I've learned that people are in so much of a hurry, they don't want to wait to be told any important information past "Here's your change."
My earlier enthusiasm for the future and faith in humanity was woefully misplaced.
People are incapable of reading if an employee is within 500ft. of them.
Co-workers are capable of only doing their own job, if you're lucky, and are unable to accomplish minor tasks during their downtime.

[AFpheonix]

I've learned that there's a lot of men who don't know what their wives'/girlfriends' birthdays are. All the more amusing if you ask them and they don't know while they are sitting next to said life partner (I know, I'm a stinker).

Many people can't seem to comprehend insurance anything.

Doctors can be really stupid for people that made it through 8 years of school.

Most little old men are cute

We fill a lot of birth control refills on Sunday, and a lot of scripts for stuf for urinary tract infections on wednesday. Coincidence? I think not.

[chainedbarista]

that a customer will give you a vague description of a drink, then expect you to know exactly what they're talking about; extracting any needed information is much harder than pulling teeth with a rubber band and your fingers.

it's a given if they tell you to 'make whatever you think is good/they'll like' that they will hate it, curse you out for making something awful, demand a new drink, then tell everyone how badly you suck.

[Worker-Intellectual]

The most insincere thing ever said in the history of the planet was "Have a nice day" when one person is handing a receipt to another

[MystyGlyttyr]

If you take a religious, devout, good, decent Christian woman, and give her a foul-mouthed, hateful, vengeful little wench of a subordinate who still happens to be a good worker, eventually both their behaviors will balance each other to the point that both are world-weary, can summon up enough civility not to stab anyone, but not quite enough to not mock people mercilessly after their back is turned.

[Mr. Rude]

We fill a lot of birth control refills on Sunday, and a lot of scripts for stuf for urinary tract infections on wednesday. Coincidence? I think not.

LMFAO....You just made my day

[Lace Neil Singer]

That an overtime limit, no temps and refusal to upgrade workers to full time will go out at the beginning of the summer holidays. -_-