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  • Groaners

    Darth: I know what you are getting for christmas, Luke.

    Luke: How?

    Dath: I have felt your presents.



    The inflatable headmaster to the inflatable shoolchild:

    "You've let me down, you've let the school down, and most importantly of all you let yourself down."

    Raspcallion, ducking

  • #2
    BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    *throwing rotten tomatoes*
    Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

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    • #3
      That's it, I'm calling a groaner penalty!

      Raps, you must apologize to all of us in a creative manner!

      Comedy Sportz is sooo cool!
      Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

      "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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      • #4
        Yup, those where groaners. I have one.

        Q. How do you tell Rapscallion is about to come on stage at the comedy club.
        A. The manager unplugs the mic.

        /All in good humor.
        //Trying to be more original than posting *Throwing Rotten Tomatoes*
        "Magic sometimes sounds like tape." - The Amazing Johnathan

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        • #5
          Here's a groaner that I heard today:

          Q: Why did the snowman take off his pants?

          A: He heard a snowblower was coming by!

          I pray for the strength to change what I can, the inability to change what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference -Calvin, Calvin & Hobbes

          Being a pessimist and cynical wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't right so often!

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          • #6
            Q: What's brown and sticky?

            A: A stick



            Q: What do you call a midget pyschic on the run from the law?

            A: A small medium at large.

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            • #7
              WARNING: Somewhat graphic sexual material ahead!










              OK, you've been warned!










              Why did Snow White get fired from Disneyworld?

              She got caught sitting on Pinnochio's face yelling "Lie to me, you bastard, lie to me!"
              Last edited by MadMike; 12-21-2006, 05:51 PM. Reason: Added warning
              Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

              "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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              • #8
                I was going to put this in its own thread, but since I consider it a "Groaner", I figured I'd put it here:

                A fairy godmother decides to go into business for herself, and sets up her own shop. On her first day in business, a yellow toad comes into the shop.

                "I'm tired of being yellow," he tells her, "I'm tired of people staring at me and making fun of me. I want to be green like the other toads."

                "No problem!" says the fairy godmother. She waves her wand, and the toad turns green, except for his penis, which is still yellow.

                "Well, this isn't going to work!", he complains, "You need to do something about this!"

                "I'm afraid I can't do anything about that", she tells him, "You'll have to see the wizard for that."

                "Well, how do I get to the wizard?"

                She fumbles around, trying to remember how to get there, but after a bit of confusion, she finally figures it out. The toad leaves the store and starts making his way to the wizard.

                Not even a minute later, a pink elephant comes into the shop.

                "I'm tired of being a pink elephant", he tells her. "I want to be gray like the other elephants."

                So she waves her wand, and the elephant turns gray, except for his penis.

                The elephant complains about it, and the fairy godmother tells him he'll need to see the wizard.

                "How do I get to the wizard?", he asks.

                Not wanting to give out all the complicated directions again, she tells him, "Just follow the yellow-dick toad."
                Sometimes life is altered.
                Break from the ropes your hands are tied.
                Uneasy with confrontation.
                Won't turn out right. Can't turn out right

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                • #9
                  Ugh.

                  *throws tomato*
                  Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. --Enzo Ferrari

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                  • #10
                    How do you get Pikachu onto a bus?

                    Poke him on.

                    Rapscallion

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                    • #11
                      Q. How do you get a Reindeer to go fast.

                      A. Take away its food.
                      "Magic sometimes sounds like tape." - The Amazing Johnathan

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                      • #12
                        Hickory, Dickory Dock.
                        The mouse ran up the clock
                        The clock struck one.
                        And the others escapd with minor injuries.
                        <ducks>

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                        • #13
                          Mary had a little lamb, and the doctor had a cow.
                          My formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night. In between, I occupy myself as best I can.---Cary Grant

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                          • #14
                            Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb.
                            Mary had a little lamb, with a side of mashed potatoes.
                            "Magic sometimes sounds like tape." - The Amazing Johnathan

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                            • #15
                              Q: When is a door not a door?

                              A: When its a jar!

                              Can you believe it took me two years to get that? mind you i was 4 when my dad told me it.
                              Fan? This is shit. Shit? Meet fan.

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