Customers Suck!

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DarthRetard 04-27-2007 08:29 AM

How many video gamers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, I'll have to read the manual, and check first, then buy the player's guide, play online for a bit......

Ree 04-28-2007 01:53 PM

This guy was lonely and so he decided life would be more fun if he had a pet.
So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet.
After some discussion he finally bought a centipede, which came in a little white box to use for his house.
He took the box home, found a good location for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the bar for a drink.

So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to Frank's place with me and have a beer?" But there was no answer from his new pet.

This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked him again, "How about going to the bar and having a drink with me?"

But again there was no answer from his new friend and pet. So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation.

He decided to ask him one more time. This time putting his face up against the centipede's house and shouting, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to Frank's place and have a drink with me?

A little voice came out of the box: "I heard you the first time! I'm putting my fucking shoes on!"

Irving Patrick Freleigh 05-01-2007 04:33 AM

What do you get when you cross Lassie's puppy with a canteloupe?

A melon-collie baby! :rimshot:

MadMike 05-01-2007 06:33 AM

What part of Popeye never rusts?

The part he sticks in Olive Oyl.

dawntazz 05-01-2007 08:22 PM


Quoth MadMike (Post 120379)
What part of Popeye never rusts?

The part he sticks in Olive Oyl.

That's just so wrong.....Again you need warnings

Kara 05-01-2007 09:36 PM

Q: What happened when Napoleon went to mount Olive?
A: Popeye got pissed!

Professional Serf 05-02-2007 03:02 AM


Moles (groan)
A mama mole, a papa mole, and a baby
Mole all live in a little mole hole. One day the papa mole sticks
His head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says,"Yum! I smell
Maple syrup!"
The mama mole sticks her head out of the hole, sniffs the air and
Says "Yum! I smell honey!"
The baby mole tries to stick his head out of the hole to sniff the air,
But can't because the bigger moles are in the way so he says,

"Crumb, all I can smell is....

Scroll down.......

Get ready.....
Are you sure you're ready?
You may never forgive me for this one...


Professional Serf 05-02-2007 03:04 AM

Rolling Stones
Rolling Stones

What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scotchman?

The Rolling stones sing "Hey You Get Off of My Cloud" and a Scotchman sings- "Hey McCloud get off of my ewe".

Professional Serf 05-03-2007 10:06 PM

True Groaners
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Police were called to a day care where a three year old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

The roundest knight at King Arthur's table was Sir Cumference.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

A thief who stole a calendar got 12 months.

Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.

We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, UCLA.

The professor discovered that her theory on earthquakes was on shaky ground.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

If you take a laptop computer for a run, you could jog your memory.

A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

With each marriage she got a new name and a dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.

A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

A plateau is high form of flattery.

Acupuncture: a jab well done.

There was a person who sent 20 different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least 10 of them would make them laugh. No pun in 10 did.

Rapscallion 05-04-2007 10:40 AM

Apparently it's genuinely Star Wars day.

May the Fourth be with you.


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