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  • The Doctor Said I'm Gonna Die. So...Who Wants a Beer?

    After promising my mother for years I would do this, and conversely putting it off for years, I finally went in and got a physical. I am 41, and my father did die at 48, so it seemed like something I should do. And since I have been successfully saving money for a year now, I couldn't say I couldn't afford it. (Though I really wish I had some kind of health insurance, as I would much rather have had them pay for all this crap. Note to self: get thee some health insurance.)

    So on Monday, 31 years to the day after my father died, since I had taken the day off for that anniversary, I went in to see Doc Mike. Told him about my concerns relating to my father, who died of a potentially hereditary kidney disease, and asked him to do a full workup on me. So we did a few things.

    First, the general checkup.

    Pulse: great.
    Blood sugar: great.
    Heart: great.
    Blood pressure: great. A welcome surprise to me, since Dad had high blood pressure. Mine was ridiculously perfect.
    Reflexes: great.

    We then did an EKG: Also perfect.

    The following day, after fasting the prescribed amount of time, I went in before work and had them draw blood.

    Wednesday, I went in for the results.

    Kidneys, one of my biggest concerns: in the words of Doc Mike, "obnoxiously healthy." The creatinine levels, which can be an indicator of kidney issues, were right where they were supposed to be.

    No strange or terminal diseases detected, though Doc Mike did say that there weren't really any effective general screens for cancers, if there were not yet any symptoms. (There aren't.) I had a small concern about this because cancer has affected some of my extended family, though never really made it into my branch of the family.

    Shock of the day to those who know me and my drinking habits: my liver, again in the words of the doctor, is "obnoxiously healthy." My first thought was, "I have a liver?" My second thought was, "I have a healthy liver?" My third thought was, "Of course I have a healthy liver...it gets a hell of a workout!" Probably the Mr. Universe of livers!

    And so it went, on down the list, healthy, obnoxiously healthy, ridiculously healthy, and so on.

    Until.

    Until we got to cholesterol.

    Now, apparently my bad cholesterol is slightly high. That was not the real issue. The real issue that my good cholesterol is ridiculously low. Which makes the total ratio WAY out of whack, according to the good doctor.

    At which point he then sat me down and told me what I would not be eating any more. Didn't suggest this, mind you, but TOLD me. No more eggs. No more milk. No more bacon. No avocados. No more fatty dressings. Much less cheese. No more buffalo wings. A lot less alcohol. And so on, and so forth. And that I needed to start taking fish oil pills.

    And I sat there and nodded. And internally told the good doctor to go take a flying leap.

    Now, I am not questioning Doc Mike's competence. He is an excellent doctor. And chances are good that he is very correct about this. But from previous conversations with him years ago, I know that it is very hard, almost impossible, to raise good cholesterol. And that the only way to attack my out-of-whack cholesterol ratio is to bring the slightly high bad cholesterol level WAY down. Which may or MAY NOT do the trick.

    (NOTE: Can anyone here direct me to a website that explains in relatively plain English the whole cholesterol ratio thing? Just wondering.)


    Here's the thing. At some point you have to decide for oneself how you are going to live your life. There is that whole quality of life thing. I am a foodie. I love food. I am not addicted to food, nor do I have a food problem. But I do love good food, and to implement the things Doc Mike was suggesting would not only be very difficult, but would PISS ME OFF.

    A quick digression: when discussing bacon, which as we all know makes everything better, a young doctor that Doc Mike was helping train made a comment along the lines that it would be better if I started eating kosher as my religion teaches. I QUICKLY corrected the young doctor that it is the religion of my ANCESTORS, not me. I was born Jewish...I do not follow the religion one bit, foodwise or otherwise. Dude pissed me off. Just because I have a Jewish name, do not assume that I keep kosher or ever have. Hell, I do not remember a time in my life that my family wasn't eating bacon. My parents never kept kosher once they were out on their own.

    Okay, enough of that digression. Where was I?

    Oh, yes. Quality of life. Here's the deal....Doc Mike is probably right. And chances are good that if I don't change things, I very well could, as he predicted have a heart attack by the time I'm 51, i.e., ten years from now. I find it weird that, with such a whacked out cholesterol level, I still have such awesome blood pressure. Isn't the deal with cholesterol that it clogs your arteries? Mine seem to be working just fine. Beyond that, though, I know I probably need to make some changes. I need to eat somewhat less of some of the fatty foods I eat. But the thing is, I ALREADY probably eat healthier than most of my friends. I eat a shit ton of salads, a shit ton of fish (both recommended by the good doctor), I can't stand avocados (which he said was a big no no), but to TELL me I no longer eat bacon? To TELL me I now only drink skim milk? I don't drink a lot of milk to begin with, but when I do, I find skim milk utterly repulsive. Puke. I don't deal with ultimatums well, and I don't like people telling me what I am going to do, informed and educated or not. As a doctor, he can advise me of what HE thinks I SHOULD do. But no one, and I mean NO ONE, tells me what to do. I am an adult, and I make my own decisions, knowing full well what the potential ramifications and repercussions may be.

    Look, I will change my diet somewhat. But to eliminate these things altogether is simply Not Going To Happen.

    "But Jester, you could DIE." Newsflash, kids: I WILL die. We all WILL die. The number one most deadly disease in the world, with a 100% mortality rate, is life. No one survives it. There is no alternative ending.

    So yes, I will die. We all will. The question is, how will we live our lives before that time comes? Me, I plan on enjoying it, as I always have. Since my father died when I was a wee lad of ten years old, I have made a point of living life to the fullest, of enjoying what life offers me. I eat healthy not because I feel I need to so much as a lot of what I enjoy eating IS healthy. Some of it isn't. C'est la vie.

    I don't have any children that are dependent on me. And yes, if I check out early, certainly many people will miss me. Maybe not as many as I would hope--and certainly there will be people who will welcome the news--but as much as we in the American society try to avoid the subject completely, death is a very integral part of life. Who knows? Maybe Doc Mike is wrong, and I'll live like my mom, well into my seventies. (Mom's 76 and still going strong.) Maybe I won't. Maybe while I am stressing over the foods I eat, a tour bus full of geriatric tourists from Oshkosh runs me over. Who knows?

    So, yeah....in all ways but one, I am apparently the very picture of a healthy 41 year old man. And that one way...well, no one's perfect. Least of all me.

    So yeah, I'm gonna die. Who's got the next beer?

    "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
    Still A Customer."


  • #2
    All this talk about eating reminds me of a joke my godmother told a long time ago.

    Tom and Sue wanted to live a long life so they had really been watching their diet. They ate lots of veggies, watched the fat, and even exercised. A few years after they began their new lifestyle, they were both killed in a car accident.

    When they got up to heaven, Saint Peter showed them around. Sue oohed and aahed over the golden streets and luxurious mansions but Tom stayed quiet. Finally, Sue asked what was wrong.

    "Nothing, I was just thinking that if it weren't for that darn oat bran we could have been here a long time ago." he replied.
    Question authority, but raise your hand first. -Alan M. Bershowitz

    Comment


    • #3
      Quoth Jester View Post
      TOLD me. No more eggs. No more milk. No more bacon.
      Sorry. Stopped listening right there. How the HELL can you balance "First, do no harm..." and "No bacon" in your head Doc Mike?

      Seriously Jester, my guess is the doc just didn't tailor the 'bad food' rundown to fit you well, and more importantly, phrase it appropriately. I'm guessing it's an overkill approach, where patients are doing "lots" of something, doctor says "none" of something in hopes that a compromise reduction will happen.

      'grats on being so hale and hearty otherwise though. And don't forget that important prostrate baseline exam in the next couple of years!

      Comment


      • #4
        Jester, I can't say I blame you. I'm a foodie myself. Hell, I went to culinary school. I worked for a fancy expensive steakhouse and worked in banquets in high end hotels. I love food - correction - I love good food. That said, I was tested for food sensitivities and turned out I now have to be almost entirely vegan. >.< Pork is a HUGE no no for me. I would have said what you did about quality of life, only the symptoms from my sensitivities were killing my quality of life, so if I'm going to have any kind of a life while I'm here, I have to do this. (and much cussing ensues) I have been finding a lot of good stuff, though, that's making it damn shocking how little I miss meat. All that to say, if you ever want to talk about tasty, healthy recipes, hit me up. Not saying you should do the overhaul I'm doing, but if you want to throw something into the rotation, I might be able to help.
        The original Cookie in a multitude of cookies.

        Comment


        • #5
          Quoth Jester View Post
          But from previous conversations with him years ago, I know that it is very hard, almost impossible, to raise good cholesterol.
          not really, my good cholesterol is high, and I love Bacon, eggs, and other greasy foods. I bike, a lot, as in close to 100 miles a week, I drink milk by the gallon, and my normal lunch is a half pound of cheese and grapes.

          I also eat a lot of fish and nuts(high in HDL or "good cholesterol")
          ways to raise good cholesterol

          and I'd say your physician may be a bit behind the times on research(it happens, doesn't make him a bad doctor, just research happens faster than they can keep up), the reason I say this is, avocados are FULL of HDL, and recommended for people with high LDL. Cranberry juice has been shown to increase HDL(study summary, increased amounts until the participants were up to 16 oz a day of low calorie cranberry juice cocktail, after 16 weeks HDL levels were up 8%)

          explanation of cholesterol ratio
          Honestly.... the image of that in my head made me go "AWESOME!"..... and then I remembered I am terribly strange.-Red dazes

          Comment


          • #6
            Don't know what to tell you. I don't eat very healthy and I can drink heavily from time to time. HDL is good though so my HDL:LDL is good even though my LDL is elevated.
            "I've found that when you want to know the truth about someone, that someone is probably the last person you should ask." - House

            Comment


            • #7
              ask him how much the difference is... if it was anything like me (1 point over for the bad stuff... a few points low for my good).. he would recommend a diet change done over time.

              This one was a reduction in various red meats, but he told me I would have them IN MODERATION. After doing that for six months I got re-checked and my counts were much better.

              His reasoning behind not putting me on meds.... it wasn't worth it over one point (my money for the meds, his for making sure I was taking it... or my time taking them), plus... it wouldn't change my eating habits.

              Comment


              • #8
                All things in moderation, I'll echo sms001 docs have a tendency to say none of this that or the other and expect people to either cut back on those things or cut out maybe half of the things they mentioned. Change is hard and most people figure if they are told to change something that even a little change in that direction will be a lot better than nothing and end up following through with a chunk of what the doctor recommended.

                Comment


                • #9
                  The best advice I can give to you is to read Gary Taubes "Good Calories and Bad Calories" - EATING fat itself is not what causes cholesterol. Its what you eat *with* the fat (carbs)

                  2 excellent articles he's written in the NYT:

                  http://www.nytimes.com/2002/07/07/ma...gewanted=print

                  http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/27/opinion/27taubes.html
                  The large print giveth, and the small print taketh away.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth sms001 View Post
                    And don't forget that important prostrate baseline exam in the next couple of years!
                    Um, I'm pretty sure that comes along when you're 50. That's what Doc Mike said, and it sounds about right to me.

                    Quoth Cookie View Post
                    Not saying you should do the overhaul I'm doing, but if you want to throw something into the rotation, I might be able to help.
                    That's the thing...there's already plenty IN the rotation. Hell, I am the Salad Freakin' King! I love my veggies, love my salads, love my seafood. Hell, it's easier for me to name the produce I DON'T like (a handful of things) and the seafood I DON'T like (1 thing) than it would be to name those that I DO like.

                    Thanks for the link....a few comments on those, just to give you an idea of where I am:

                    --Eat grapefruit: loathe it. The only citrus I don't like.
                    --Cut back on added sugars: don't really eat a lot of foods with added sugars anyway. Never drank coffee or tea, so don't add sugar to drinks, and don't eat that many desserts or sweets.
                    --Get aerobic exercise: Check! I work on my feet all day, and bartending is NOT a spectator sport. Also, been riding my bike to and from work (7 miles round trip) every day but Wednesday, when I do magic and need to be slightly more presentable.
                    --Drink cranberry juice: I will have to start drinking more of it. I like it, actually. I wonder if white cranberry juice qualifies for this as well?
                    --Maintain a healthy weight: 5'8", 160 lbs. I would prefer to be in better shape, say, having those pounds be distributed in a different way, but even at my most critical of myself, I can't say I am overweight.
                    --Stop smoking: Lifelong nonsmoker, other than the (very) occasional cigar.
                    --Eat more unsaturated fats: Well, this one is interesting. Many of the foods they list disgust me. I am not a huge nut fan, especially of the nuts they list, and ESPECIALLY loathe walnuts, I despise olives, avocados, pumpkin, and sesame seeds, and Doc Mike told me to cut down on the oils, since oil is basically fat. However, some of the other foods they list, such as the seafoods and tofu, I am a fan of. So more salmon, scallops, shrimp, and snapper for Jester!
                    --Niacin: Weird....Doc Mike told me to cut milk and eggs OUT, and this is saying to add more IN. Clearly a difference of opinion. But lean meat, poultry, and fish all seem to be fine, and are definitely in my personal menu.

                    Thank you for the links, by the way. Very informative.

                    Quoth Sandman View Post
                    ask him how much the difference is... if it was anything like me (1 point over for the bad stuff... a few points low for my good).. he would recommend a diet change done over time.
                    He said that my numbers weren't bad....they were HORRIBLE.

                    Allow me to share.

                    The numbers listed on my sheet for the acceptable range are pretty close to the numbers listed in the article BK linked to, so if they aren't exactly the same, understand that they are pretty close.

                    The healthy range for HDL, or "good cholesterol", is considered 40 or higher. Mine is 22.
                    The good range for LDL, or is considered to be 130 or less. Mine is 147.
                    The good range for triglycerides is considered to be 150 or less. Mine is 204.
                    The good range for total cholesterol is considered to be 125-200. Mine is 210.

                    And finally, the number my doctor zeroed in on, the total cholesterol to good cholesterol ratio, which is considered good if it is 5.0 or less.

                    Mine is 9.5.

                    As the doctor said, WAY out of whack.

                    "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                    Still A Customer."

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth DeltaSierra View Post
                      The best advice I can give to you is to read Gary Taubes "Good Calories and Bad Calories" - EATING fat itself is not what causes cholesterol. Its what you eat *with* the fat (carbs)

                      2 excellent articles he's written in the NYT...
                      Holy CRAP, those were two of the most eye-opening articles I've read in a long time, especially the first one.

                      Definitely something to think about.

                      The thing is, it did not really directly address my specific question of, how does this affect me, and do I need to radically change my diet as my doctor insisted.

                      Clearly, their is much research yet to do in this area. But this has given me a lot to think about. Thank you!

                      "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                      Still A Customer."

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth Jester View Post
                        (NOTE: Can anyone here direct me to a website that explains in relatively plain English the whole cholesterol ratio thing? Just wondering.)[/I]
                        Yeah, this is a tough one. In a nutshell, the ratio determines your risk for cardiovascular disease. The higher the ratio, the higher the risk. In your case, the ratio is high because your LDL is too low.

                        WebMD explains it in English for you. Also, WebMD has another article here.

                        Though I don't recommend Wikipedia to my students, the articles on medicine are pretty reliable.

                        Quoth Jester View Post
                        A quick digression: when discussing bacon, which as we all know makes everything better, a young doctor that Doc Mike was helping train made a comment along the lines that it would be better if I started eating kosher as my religion teaches. I QUICKLY corrected the young doctor that it is the religion of my ANCESTORS, not me.
                        I'm glad you corrected him. Hopefully Dr. Mike brought it up again as well. You can't ever make assumptions as to someones religion based on their name or where they live any more, especially in the United States as it becomes increasingly secular. The way Young Doctor put it came across to me as an admonition, "well if you just followed your faith you wouldn't have this problem."

                        And I don't know that there's any evidence that kosher or halal diets in particular are healthy, though they do include foods that are by nature fairly healthy (for example, the use of olive oil instead of lard for cooking), and unleavened bread (less salt).

                        Quoth Jester View Post
                        "But Jester, you could DIE." Newsflash, kids: I WILL die. We all WILL die. The number one most deadly disease in the world, with a 100% mortality rate, is life. No one survives it. There is no alternative ending.
                        BUT! It's more than just how you live. It's how WELL you live. Odds are, with today's medical technology, the heart attack or stroke you are setting yourself up for won't kill you outright.

                        But they may disable you, and make it difficult or impossible for you to do things you normally enjoy very much.

                        I'm 46. I've eaten a high sugar, high fat, high meat diet most of my adult life. I'm paying the price now: pre-diabetes (Dad was diabetic), high blood pressure, and edema in my legs, hands, and face that I'm having to take diuretics to control . . . and that hasn't yet gone away.

                        I'm trying to modify my diet, but it's hard. I've back slid badly the past couple of months.

                        Quoth sms001 View Post
                        Sorry. Stopped listening right there. How the HELL can you balance "First, do no harm..." and "No bacon" in your head Doc Mike?
                        Well, in defense of Dr. Mike, it was the guy he was training, not Dr. Mike who made that faux pas.
                        They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          First, I have to say that doctors are trained in diagnosing and treating diseases and injuries with medical technology and most of them are not trained in nutrition(unless someone can tell me differently by experience). So while he may give you advice on how and what to eat to lower your bad cholesterol, it should not be taken as professional advice. For that, you should see a licensed dietitian.


                          Second, I know people who are vegan (which means NO Cholesterol in their diets whatsoever), and still have high cholesterol. That means their bodies over-produces it. It's a genetic problem. Not much you can do for that other than medication I suppose (just a guess, I'm not a doctor). In these cases, diet might help a bit, but probably not enough.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Quoth Mel View Post
                            First, I have to say that doctors are trained in diagnosing and treating diseases and injuries with medical technology and most of them are not trained in nutrition(unless someone can tell me differently by experience). So while he may give you advice on how and what to eat to lower your bad cholesterol, it should not be taken as professional advice. For that, you should see a licensed dietitian.


                            Second, I know people who are vegan (which means NO Cholesterol in their diets whatsoever), and still have high cholesterol. That means their bodies over-produces it. It's a genetic problem. Not much you can do for that other than medication I suppose (just a guess, I'm not a doctor). In these cases, diet might help a bit, but probably not enough.
                            A former roommate of mine went vegan while we were in college.

                            He packed on the pounds like it was going out of style. He didn't add vegetables to his diet. He added CARBS: beans, rice, pasta, bread, chips, etc.

                            Seeing a dietician is a good suggestion.
                            They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Redd Foxx said it well in his album "You Gotta Wash Your Ass".

                              I smoke and drink. lot of you don't drink, don't smoke. Some people here tonight don't eat butter. No salt. No sugar. No lard. No biscuits. No gravy with onions in it. Cause they want to live they give up the good stuff. Neck bones, pig tails. You going to feel like a damn fool laying in the hospital dieing from nothing.
                              "Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid" Redd Foxx as Al Royal - The Royal Family - Pilot Episode - 1991.

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