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  • Bachelor party help (Salt Lake edition)

    My friend Cat is getting married in a month in Salt Lake City.

    I have just been informed that her brother is in charge of the bachelor party the night before. Which for all intents and purposes means *I* am in charge, as that is not his thing.

    Yes, kids, someone who's known me for decades has decided it's a good idea to send her soon-to-be-husband out with me for a night of debauchery the night before they are to be married. No, I don't get the logic either, but let's work with it.

    Basically, I am looking for non-stripper suggestions as to what to do and where to go. I have never in my life been to SLC, and I am probably going to be arriving the day of the bachelor party, so I need some suggestions for a good area or some good places to go that involve adult spirits and potential insanity on a Friday night in Mormonville.

    I have done this once before, for my best friend Neets at her bachelorette party, when her sister failed to step up and make things happen. While I still have incriminating photographic evidence of the (possibly illegal) things that went on that night, everyone had a good time and the only one offended by anything was the aforementioned sister. (I like her, but she was a stick in the mud that night.) So I do have some ideas, and I am a seasoned professional drinker/partier/havoc wreaker. That does not preclude me from soliciting ideas from the general public or the SLC folks in particular.

    I have told Cat to leave it all in the capable hands of Dr. Jester.

    Keep in mind, I AM an ordained minister, so not only can I pinch hit for the bishop scheduled to perform the ceremony on Saturday if called to do so, I can also administer Last Rites to the groom on Friday night if necessary.

    So.....what? And where? JESTER NEEDS YOUR HELP!

    "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
    Still A Customer."


  • #2
    Dammit, when I read the title, my first thoughts were "strippers."

    Alternately, there's always the inflatable sheep
    The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

    Now queen of USSR-Land...

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    • #3
      TP the Osmond family's house.


      In lieu of that, SLC is a beautiful town, what's wrong with everyone just going for a walk around and then a nice dinner and some drinks after?

      In lieu of THAT, I can give you the general location of the former friend of mine who lives there that stole $3,000.00 dollars from me.
      You could have a Mexican-style party and use his ass as a pinata.
      "All I've ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who out-drew ya"

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      • #4
        Well, in Utah, a bachelor party usually includes lining him up with a couple of Sister Wives...
        I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
        Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
        Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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        • #5
          Quoth Sheldonrs View Post
          In lieu of that, SLC is a beautiful town, what's wrong with everyone just going for a walk around and then a nice dinner and some drinks after?
          "Do you know who the hell I am?!?"

          (Bonus points for anyone who gets the reference.)

          Quoth Sheldonrs View Post
          In lieu of THAT, I can give you the general location of the former friend of mine who lives there that stole $3,000.00 dollars from me.
          You could have a Mexican-style party and use his ass as a pinata.
          Not a bad idea. I don't know the violence level yet of the hubby, and can't remember that of the brother, but this might be amusing. Is there a finder's fee for recovering said booty? And how badly do you want him hurt? (It IS a him, right? If it's a chick, you're on your own.)

          Quoth Sheldonrs View Post
          TP the Osmond family's house.
          Quoth fireheart17 View Post
          Alternately, there's always the inflatable sheep
          Quoth dalesys View Post
          Well, in Utah, a bachelor party usually includes lining him up with a couple of Sister Wives...
          And here I was actually expecting helpful suggestions....

          "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
          Still A Customer."

          Comment


          • #6
            What kind of guy is he? Is he a "go club and drink and fall off the Skybar" kind of guy, is he a laid back "music lounge" kind of guy?

            Is he gay? Is she a beard?

            To be perfectly honest, outside of clubs, SLC's nightlife is almost non-existent. There's some pretty cool stuff in and around the Depot (bar/music hall downtown). There's a kareoke bar called "Tavernacle" downtown... or Port o' Call, the local irish/haunted pub.

            PM me, I can tell you a couple other places to go (don't let me underage-ness fool you, I take care of myself pretty well)
            Carpe Jugulum : Go for the throat.

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            • #7
              Quoth Fenrus View Post
              . or Port o' Call, the local irish/haunted pub.
              I thought Port o' Call closed... did I mishear?
              Oh, also Keys on Main is supposed to be good.

              And Fenrus... you aren't evil so I will be...

              The perfect place to take any bachelor is the Trapp Door... trust me on that one
              If you wish to find meaning, listen to the music not the song

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              • #8
                Quoth Fenrus View Post
                What kind of guy is he? Is he a "go club and drink and fall off the Skybar" kind of guy, is he a laid back "music lounge" kind of guy?
                I have no idea. I've never met the guy. I am going to have to gauge him pretty much immediately upon meeting him, as I fly into SLC on 5/1...and the bachelor party is on 5/1.

                Quoth Fenrus View Post
                Is he gay? Is she a beard?
                I doubt it for the first one (but I don't know him so I can't say with absolute certainty), and I know for a fact NO for the second one.

                Quoth smileyeagle1021 View Post
                The perfect place to take any bachelor is the Trapp Door... trust me on that one.
                Why not just tell me what the Trapp Door is?


                A coworker of mine who used to live in SLC told me to basically stick to State Street between 7800 South-ish to the Capital, and that two good bars are Northern Exposure and Sky Bar.

                Why couldn't they be getting married in Phoenix? This would be so much easier for me.

                "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                Still A Customer."

                Comment


                • #9
                  an Idea for a joke on the guy would be to get the biggest, burliest guy you know to act as if he were a stripper that had been ordered, that should be funny.
                  I am the nocturnal echo-locating flying mammal man.

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                  • #10
                    Well, the Dalebert doesn't party (except at home with my books & music) so I can't help much.

                    The Sister Wives are a local rock/blues band.

                    OT, Jester, you'll probably want to do some research on Utah's liquor laws, which aren't going to change before your event.
                    I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                    Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                    Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth RayvenQ View Post
                      an Idea for a joke on the guy would be to get the biggest, burliest guy you know to act as if he were a stripper that had been ordered, that should be funny.
                      If that happens I want video or pics!!!
                      I don't get paid enough to kiss your a**! -Groezig 5/31/08
                      Another day...another million braincells lost...-Sarlon 6/16/08
                      Chivalry is not dead. It's just direly underappreciated. -Samaliel 9/15/09

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth RayvenQ View Post
                        an Idea for a joke on the guy would be to get the biggest, burliest guy you know to act as if he were a stripper that had been ordered, that should be funny.
                        There are a few problems with this.

                        1. I don't know a soul in Utah.
                        2. I get the feeling that finding someone to do this in the middle of Mormonville might be a tad difficult.
                        3. Even if neither of the above were not true, this is the guy who is about to marry my friend, and he has never met me. Why would I want to do something like this? To a good friend of mine, sure, but to a guy I am just meeting? Thank you, no.

                        Quoth tropicsgoddess View Post
                        If that happens I want video or pics!!!
                        Don't worry. It won't be happening.

                        "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                        Still A Customer."

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth Jester View Post
                          There are a few problems with this.

                          1. I don't know a soul in Utah.
                          2. I get the feeling that finding someone to do this in the middle of Mormonville might be a tad difficult.
                          3. Even if neither of the above were not true, this is the guy who is about to marry my friend, and he has never met me. Why would I want to do something like this? To a good friend of mine, sure, but to a guy I am just meeting? Thank you, no.



                          Don't worry. It won't be happening.
                          Aww man....oh well, a girl could dream, right?
                          I don't get paid enough to kiss your a**! -Groezig 5/31/08
                          Another day...another million braincells lost...-Sarlon 6/16/08
                          Chivalry is not dead. It's just direly underappreciated. -Samaliel 9/15/09

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Silly me. I offer, fairly often and free of charge and, honestly, to the best of my ability, the best advice I can offer many people on this site, just because, as much of an asshole as I can be, I still want to help people out.

                            And in return, the few times I ask for advice that don't involve recipes (and thank you CS cooks, you rock!), I get perverted bullshit.

                            Thanks. It's appreciated. And remembered.

                            "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                            Still A Customer."

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Hey man, I'm tryin! There's a couple good hotspots downtown, but honestly... SLC is boring.

                              Incredibly, incredibly boring...
                              Carpe Jugulum : Go for the throat.

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