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  • The "I'm sorry for taking it out on You" Thread

    Anyone else just do not believe customers when they say, "I'm sorry for taking it out on you? or "its not your fault?" Everytime a customer says that after basically cursing at me, making me feel low, insulting the company i work for, whining like a baby, I just say "whatever jerk". I just do not believe a word of it cause you know what? they are just saying that because frankly, deep down, it is my fault cause i am giving you what you needed to HEAR. I just roll my eyes.

  • #2
    Why on earth would you take it so personally? They certainly don't mean it personally - they're just venting to the first person who will listen, most of the time. I usually reassure them that I haven't taken it personally, and try to get on with the transaction. I know what it's like to get pissed off and snap at someone (I have kids, after all), and I know that sometimes people just choose not to control that impulse (or sometimes it's really too strong an impulse to control).

    For instance, the other night, I had a blowout on the highway, right after my son had said, "Look mommy, a HUGE spider".... JUST before the spider dropped onto my hand (causing me to slide into the concrete barrier between the two directional lanes and shred my tire - no other damage to the car, amazingly enough). As soon as I had recovered enough (and squashed the spider) to pull over to the right-most lane, I yelled at him, although it wasn't HIS fault I had freaked out at the spider and lost control of the car. Regardless of whether he told me or not, the stupid thing still would have dropped onto my hand, but I yelled at him anyway. He now knows I didn't mean it, and that he did nothing wrong, but on the spot? Yeah, it just came out. Same thing, sometimes, with customers who are frustrated and feel powerless against the huge corporation (or, people like my mother who have learned from countless spineless managers that the squeaky wheel gets freebies).

    I never have to see or deal with these people again, so why should I care what they say? If they apologize, so much the better
    GK/Kara/Jester fangirl.

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    • #3
      I use "It's not your fault" whenever I'm told something I don't want to hear by a representative of a company.

      Of course, I actually mean it when I say it. I may curse under my breath or give a sigh, but I make it apparent to the employee that my dismay isn't directed at them, but rather the situation (I never insult them personally or berate them, though). If they apologize to me for some inconvenience, I smile and say "I'm not happy, but I know it's not your fault and that you're just doing your job."

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      • #4
        Quoth Norton View Post
        I use "It's not your fault" whenever I'm told something I don't want to hear by a representative of a company.

        Of course, I actually mean it when I say it. I may curse under my breath or give a sigh, but I make it apparent to the employee that my dismay isn't directed at them, but rather the situation (I never insult them personally or berate them, though). If they apologize to me for some inconvenience, I smile and say "I'm not happy, but I know it's not your fault and that you're just doing your job."
        I remember I was on waiting on the phone for a representative to assist me with something (can't remember). I was waiting and gave a big SIGH. The representative apologized and told me she was still working on it. I was puzzled for a minute as to why she would say that. Then it dawned on me. I apologized and I told her I wasn't sighing at her.

        Sometimes things are not always as they seem.

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        • #5
          Maybe its just me.

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          • #6
            Quoth MoonChild2007 View Post
            Maybe its just me.

            no.. it isn't. I mean sure, the mea culpa is nice but an SC is basically saying "Yes, I am being an irrational jerk and giving you a bunch of sh*t that you don't need and don't deserve. sorry." Well uhh.. thanks for the apology but YOU'RE STILL BEING AN IRRATIONAL JERK!!.

            None of us wants to take abuse.. we aren't masochists. I mean, if I walk up to you and kick you in the shin for no good reason I can turn around and say: "Gee, I'm really sorry for doing that. you didn't deserve it." Ok, and even assuming it's an honest apology, your shin is still gonna sting and it doesn't erase the fact that I was just acting like an imbecile and taking some frustration out on an innocent party.
            I will never go to school!

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            • #7
              Nah, I get that alllllll the time at work. When you're face to face with someone, you can tell whether they're frustrated at you or at the company/situation. I have been yelled at for any number of things, from not giving someone enough attention when I'm trying to multitask to not letting people cut in line. I've been threatened with personally being sued because I would not return an item that I literally have no way to return.

              And, I have had people that can rant and vent without making it personal, or who are aware enough that my hands are as tied as theirs that they don't direct their anger at me.
              It's little things that make the difference between 'enjoyable', 'tolerable', and 'gimme a spoon, I'm digging an escape tunnel'.

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              • #8
                Quoth tollbaby View Post
                Why on earth would you take it so personally?
                Because they made it personal. I don't care how frustrated you are, what happened to you on the way over, or how hard your life is. It's never ok to curse someone out or yell or threaten. You had a bad day? Guess what? I don't care in the least. You think my day has been all roses and sunshine?

                That being said, I do really appreciate the "I'm sorry." No, it doesn't erase the fact that you're acting like a douchebag, but at least you've now acknowledged it and are trying to be less of a douche.
                Excuse me, good sir paladin, can you direct me to your EVIL district?

                http://www.dywhcomic.com

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                • #9
                  It annoys me when people do it because while they may be acknowledging the fact that something is not my fault, they're still leaving me to be the one who takes the blame for it, essentially, being that they're bitching about it to me.
                  If you know it's not my fault then find the person whose fault it is and talk to them about it.
                  Using me as your platform for bitching just because I'm the one in front of you is pointless, and whether or not you tell me you know it's not my fault doesn't change the fact that you've made it my problem.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    It's one thing for the customer to calmly say "I know it's not your fault, but I'm upset about how long it's taking to sort out my bill," for example, if there was a problem with someone's bill. The person taking the call would perhaps apologize on behalf of the company and proceed to help the customer as best they can. That's the sort of customer the company wants to keep, for obvious reasons.

                    It's an entirely different thing to cop abuse from customers because of (using a fast food example) the prices, the fact that all the tables are taken, the size of the line (that is moving at a reasonable speed and wtf because they chose to line up!). Screaming customers are not fun, and it's not fair for employees to have to take that.
                    Michael: Maybe you'll be inspired by the boat party tonight and start a career as a pirate.
                    Tobias: I haven't packed for that.
                    <3 Arrested Development

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                    • #11
                      Had this guy who was trying to pull out 3000 on his card and was having trouble. He talked to me, I talked to his credit card company, nothing worked. He told the people on the phone: "So, I'm SOL? I know its not your fault though...."

                      I would have frustrated too. After the hell he went through he was still nice and knew it wasn't the people's fault nor ours.

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                      • #12
                        I just hate it when SCs use it as a way to be completely abusive and whiny, as if peppering in the occasional "I know it's not your fault" somehow makes it easier to hear how the company singled out the SC specifically for whatever tale of woe I get subjected to.
                        "You know, there are times when it's a source of personal pride not to be human." - Hobbes

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                        • #13
                          Quoth CancelMyService View Post
                          I just hate it when SCs use it as a way to be completely abusive and whiny, as if peppering in the occasional "I know it's not your fault" somehow makes it easier to hear how the company singled out the SC specifically for whatever tale of woe I get subjected to.

                          Exactly. I think it actually makes the situation worse because it's saying "I know I'm being an irrational jerk and screaming my head off at someone who has done nothing, but I'll just keep doing it."

                          NOTE this is only for SCs, I know some people work it in there in an attempt to be nice to the CSR and that's different.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I don't think an apology makes up for taking your frustration out on some innocent person who is just doing their job. I have NEVER blown up at anyone in the customer service industry, nor have I insulted, belittled, or patronized.

                            There is absolutely NO excuse for cursing or yelling at a person, period. (Unless they have wittingly done something completely terrible to you). In my experiences at work I have fortunately never been cursed or yelled at. I've had people become slightly annoyed with me and/or make snide little comments about me, and THAT hurts enough. I couldn't even imagine getting cursed at. There is a thing called basic human decency, and you don't treat other people that way.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              There is absolutely NO excuse for cursing or yelling at a person, period.
                              There is also absolutely no excuse how some companies jerk us around ... companies to whom WE PAY MONEY. And, if you happen to be the CSR on the phone when the camel's back gets broken, I'm sorry ... and I'll say I'm sorry to you that it's not your fault.

                              There's only so much garbage a customer, even a good customer, can take before they lose it.

                              And, you want to talk about basic human decency? Think about how your respective companies treat some legitimate customers. Some of the stories I've read here on CS would have me screaming at CSRs (the one that immediately comes to mind is where the call center manager would REMOVE people from the Do Not Call list because he claimed the CSR didn't work hard enough to sell ... and wanted them to call back).

                              If your management treats its customers like dirt, management puts you in the middle.
                              "Always stand near the door." -- Doctor Who

                              Kuya's Kitchen -- Cooking, Cooking Gadgets, and Food Related Blather from a Transplanted Foodie

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