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  • "I lost it 3 months ago! It's sentimental!"

    Hi guys, haven’t posted in a little while. Not been the best of times outside of work so I just haven’t had the energy to sit down and type a post without giving up half way through, so this thread is a big compilation of different shifts. I will type my personal grievances in Advice at some point in the near future.

    I’ll just jump straight into it.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    SC: Excuse me, but I left a scarf in here and I was wondering if I could have it back.
    Me: I will just go and look out the back and see if it is in lost property. What colour is it?
    SC: I dunno. Can’t remember.
    Me: OK I will go and see if we have any scarves at all.

    I went out the back and had a look. Nothing had been handed in.

    Me: I’m sorry but there are no scarves out the back.
    SC: Oh no! I need that scarf! It has sentimental value!
    Me: When exactly did you leave it here?
    SC: I dunno. Some time before Christmas I think.
    Me: So nearly three months ago?
    SC: What does that matter? You should have it! Go and look again!

    I went in the cellar and ate a bag of bar snacks. I returned five minutes later.

    Me: No, sorry. It’s not there.
    SC: I need it! It’s cold out there!

    It didn’t stop there. He paced the floor stopping every co-worker he came across, asking them if one had been handed in. Each time the co-worker would come over and ask me.

    CW: Customersruinmylife, has a scarf been handed in?
    Me: No.
    SC: Are you sure???

    We eventually decided to ignore him until he went away.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    This guy deserved a punch in the face. He walked up to the bar and you could tell right away that he didn’t appreciate having to lower himself and talk to the little people in order to get a drink. Co-worker got the pleasure of serving him.

    CW: Hi there, what can I get you?
    SC: Chocolate coffee.
    CW: I’m sorry, would you like a hot chocolate and a coffee, or a mocha?
    SC: What on Earth are you talking about? Chocolate coffee!
    CW: I just want to make sure I get your order correct. So would you like a mocha? That’s a coffee with a shot of chocolate syrup in it.
    SC: I don’t know how I can make this any clearer! HOT. CHOCOLATE. AND. A. COFFEE.
    CW: I’m sorry, but there was absolutely no need for you to talk to me in that manner. I am only making sure that you get the right drinks.
    SC: You’re a rude little girl! Get me the manager!
    CW: That’s fine with me!

    CW walked out the back. SC turned to me, shaking his head.

    SC: What an absolute moron, am I right?

    I was just about to bite when CW returned. Her eyes were nearly popping out of her head at what she had just heard.

    SC: Run along and get my drinks girl! I am going to be having a word with your manager about you!
    CW: I’m not getting you anything! I’m a moron remember! I don’t think I can be trusted to get your drinks!
    SC: Then this young man will get them. He’s been nothing but quiet and polite, unlike you.
    Me: I’m not serving you. You are beyond rude and I don’t want anything to do with you. Come on CW.

    CW and I walked to the other end of the bar. I heard SC exclaim “You’re not going to let them away with that are you??”

    I don’t know what was said between them, but the SC lost the argument as he managed to offend the manager to the point where he refused service as well. He stormed to the end of the bar.

    SC: I’m a journalist and I am going to write something damning about you on the Internet! You are finished!
    CW: I will be on the look out for whiny Facebook posts.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Busy Friday night. I am serving behind the bar when I spot a lady with a baby carrier. It was well beyond the time for children being allowed in, so I went over.

    Me: I’m sorry ma’am but children are not allowed in the pub beyond 8pm.
    SC: Well you’re lucky it’s not a child. It’s a baby.
    Me: It is still a person under the age of 18. I am very sorry but I’m going to have to ask you to leave.

    She got the carrier and placed it under the table.

    SC: There. Now you didn’t see anything. BYE BYE!

    I sent the doorman and manager over.

    SC: For God’s sake! She’s asleep! I only want a bottle of wine!
    M: Rules are rules. I am afraid you are going to have to leave.
    SC: You’re making me feel like a bad mother!

    She stormed out the pub. I yelled “BYE BYE” as she went.

    I’m just glad I caught her BEFORE she got her bottle of wine.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Group of young people booked a couple of tables for a birthday celebration. The birthday girl arrived: a stereotypical, skinny blonde, spoiled girl who probably owns five cars, twelve i-pads and has a room devoted to clothes.

    BG: I need you to make sure that NO ONE sits near my party! I don’t want anyone disturbing my special night!
    Me: I can’t do that. You booked two tables, not the whole pub. It’s Saturday night, it’s going to be crowded and I cannot dictate where people can and can not stand.
    BG: You don’t understand. It’s my birthday.
    Me: Happy birthday.
    BG: I WILL NOT have anyone sitting near my party! I will not allow it!

    Saturday night is an evening in which it is a miracle if you even get a table at all. Most of the customers end up standing, so she was screwed. Less than five minutes later she was back.

    BG: Some people are sitting at the table next to us! Make them move!
    Me: I am not making anyone move. Unless they are deliberately disturbing or harassing you I am not doing anything.
    BG: Can’t you tell that I’m harassed!?
    Me: Yes, but they are not doing it deliberately.

    I looked over and saw four young guys sitting together and having a quiet, friendly conversation.

    BG: I’m going to call my dad!
    Me: Oh boy.

    She came back with her sparkly i-phone and held it to my face.

    BG: He wants to talk to you!
    Me: I’m not talking.
    BG: You have to do as I say!

    I took the phone off her, disconnected the call and handed it back.

    BG: You are the worst person I’ve ever met!
    Me: Then you are very lucky.

    A friend appeared.

    F: Come on, it’s not that bad. Lets go back to the table and calm down a bit.
    BG: My special day…I can’t believe this!

    Her friend scowled “You should be ashamed of yourself!” at me.

  • #2
    Yes, CRML, you _should_ be ashamed of yourself!

    Boy, BG is some kind of specul isn't she? How much more of this did she put up with before exclaming in a loud voice, "This place is rude and we're leaving and not coming back!"

    I'm guessing you might have had a problem with her paying and obviously no tip?

    Comment


    • #3
      Quoth eltf177 View Post
      Yes, CRML, you _should_ be ashamed of yourself!?
      Indeed! The second she insisted on having a halo of unoccupied tables around her, you should have quoted her a price on reserving enough tables to make that happen Ya know, because it's good for business...And, of course, make sure to include a cover charge/2 drink minimum fee for every "patron" who could have potentially been seated at the now-reserved tables...
      "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
      "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
      "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
      "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
      "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
      "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
      Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
      "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

      Comment


      • #4
        If a lousy scarf has such sentimental value, then why has it been 3 months before the lady finally realized that it was missing?

        Comment


        • #5
          Quoth downforit2008 View Post
          If a lousy scarf has such sentimental value, then why has it been 3 months before the lady finally realized that it was missing?
          Why didn't the guy know what color it was?
          My Writing Blog -Updated 05/06/2013
          It's so I can get ideas out of my head, I decided to put it in a blog in case people are bored or are curious as to the (many) things in progress.

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth AmbrosiaWriter View Post
            Why didn't the guy know what color it was?
            Because he was beginning to have a sore throat and wanted a scarf, any scarf, for the walk home?

            Comment


            • #7
              Me: I will just go and look out the back and see if it is in lost property. What colour is it?
              SC: I dunno. Can’t remember.
              SC: Oh no! I need that scarf! It has sentimental value!
              Yeah, so sentimental that the SC can't even remember what it looks like? yeah right!


              SC: I’m a journalist and I am going to write something damning about you on the Internet! You are finished!
              CW: I will be on the look out for whiny Facebook posts.


              She stormed out the pub. I yelled “BYE BYE” as she went.
              I'm not sure which is the better Pwnage - the facebook comment from above, or the "bye bye" thrown back into her face.

              (although is it bad that I'm hearing that in the voice of the Master? )

              it's my birthday!
              Happy birthday, veruca salt. bleh.

              Comment


              • #8
                I don't know why, but when I read the second story, a Simpson's clip came to mind. I think it was from Flaming Moe's, when Homer's shouting that Moe lost himself a customer, over the sounds of the cash register ringing up sales. (At least I'm pretty sure that's how it went.)

                Don't know why the second story brought that scene to mind, but it made me smile.

                As for Daddy's Birthday Girl, I'm not sure what would have been funner... Listening to 'daddy' try to make his pwecious liddle girl happy. Or just hanging up on him like you did. For your SAN score, hanging up was probably the right answer.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth customersruinmylife View Post
                  SC: Oh no! I need that scarf! It has sentimental value!
                  Me: When exactly did you leave it here?
                  SC: I dunno. Some time before Christmas I think.
                  Me: So nearly three months ago?
                  SC: What does that matter? You should have it! Go and look again!
                  Clearly wasn't that important, if you didn't realize it was gone until NOW. (Or didn't do anything about it until NOW.)

                  Quoth customersruinmylife View Post
                  SC: I’m a journalist and I am going to write something damning about you on the Internet! You are finished!
                  CW: I will be on the look out for whiny Facebook posts.


                  Quoth customersruinmylife View Post
                  I took the phone off her, disconnected the call and handed it back.

                  BG: You are the worst person I’ve ever met!
                  Me: Then you are very lucky.
                  Very well put.
                  PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

                  There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth downforit2008 View Post
                    If a lousy scarf has such sentimental value, then why has it been 3 months before the lady finally realized that it was missing?
                    And why can they not even remember what colour it was? Yep, very sentimental.

                    I wonder if they just left their scarf at home on a cold day and were hoping someone had turned one in so they could claim it as theirs and have a free scarf.

                    Madness takes it's toll....
                    Please have exact change ready.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      So birthday girl doesn't want anyone around her? I seem to recall reading about some table in an outdoor garden, pretty sure no one else would bother her out there.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        What? You mean you don't implement a scorched tables policy to protect birthday princesses?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Why did Her Ladyship have to be at the pub, anyway? Was the manor house undergoing renovations? Did the servants have the night off?

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            My friend & I went to IHOP for my b-day breakfast this morning. I would have never even thougt to have a halo of empty tables surrounding us. <sarcasm on> They had the gall to sit people immediately behind me!!! We had to share the room with other diners. OMG - what a horrid experience!!!
                            <sarcasm off>
                            That is so full of suck Dyson doesn't know how they did it - shankyknitter

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Ooooo, her "special day'! Poor thing's going to have hysterics the day she realizes that other people actually celebrate their birthday on the same day she does. She'll probably sue them to make them change their birthday.
                              When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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