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A canonical list of SCs

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  • Quoth apocolypse101 View Post
    The Eskimo: Willing to go out to shop amide temperatures approaching and below Absolute Zero.
    Well to be honest here in Canada often times you have no choice but to go out in the cold

    Comment


    • Jekyll/Hyde: When you are dealing with them they are the worst person. If you are telling them they have to leave it's F*** this and F*** That, Don't F-ing touch me, you can't tell me what to do etc. but the second they deal with someone with more authority such as police it's "Oh I don't know what the issue is, i'll leave. Not sure why there is such a big fuss. I wasn't doing anything, they wouldn't tell me why" This can get you glares from the police or high authority of "What you couldn't handle that yourself" making the situation all the more frustrating

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      • Block Of The Walk: Customers who take an unreasonable amount of time to put their wallet back in their purse/pocket/jacket, collect their items, and leave so that you can assist the next customer in line. Especially bad if they spend time looking through each bag and re-arranging shit instead of telling you how they wanted them bagged in the first place, or stand there studiously examining their receipt instead of taking five steps away from the register before doing so. Hey, lady, there are other people behind you trying to check out.

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        • The skunk A customer who comes in smelling like she bathed in perfume. Or alternatively, the customer who smokes so much weed the scent follows him/her around like a semi solid cloud.
          Don’t worry about what I’m up to. Worry about why you are worried about what I’m up to.

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          • Quoth AkaiKitsune View Post
            The skunk A customer who comes in smelling like she bathed in perfume. Or alternatively, the customer who smokes so much weed the scent follows him/her around like a semi solid cloud.
            To say nothing of B.O.

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            • DJ Douche bag: Always come in blaring music from their phone or a Bluetooth speaker. If they are told they have to turn it off you get angered reactions or they walk 10 feet out of your sight and turn it right back up. Often the music is of swear riddled rap or hip-hop music and not appropriate for a public setting such as a Library...


              MC Douche bag/American idol reject: Similar to DJ Douche bag but Loudly and badly singing or "Rapping" random music. You often get the same reactions as DJ Douche bag

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              • Waste All, Want All: Customer who, when faced with having more groceries than they can afford, elicit to take off the $30.00 in sliced/weighed deli meats and/or seafood in their order (which then have to be tossed out) rather than boxed or canned items that can actually be put on the shelf and re-sold. Same customer then later complains about steadily-rising prices.

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                • Nothing Up My Belt...: Customer who places money, cards and magazines directly on the belt before anything else, then get upset when they get sucked under.

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                  • Mister/Miss lookie-loo

                    Hovers around the checkout but isn't ready yet but you still have to stand there forever waiting for them to decide what they want. You could be getting work done but you know the minute you walk away they will be ready.

                    How much iz dis?

                    Brings a bunch of stuff up to the register but wants you to check the price first. Bonus points if your store has a price checker TEN feet away from the checkout

                    HOW MUCH IZ DIS?

                    Different form of price checking. Stands half the length of the store away and yells at you while pointing to something you can't see while yelling 'how much is this?' Bonus points if the floor worker is only a few feet away

                    Invisible workers

                    Customer who walks the full length of the store to ask for something to be unlocked or to use the bathroom when there are SIX people working five feet away from where they were.

                    Front checkout obsessed

                    The ones who think the ONLY place to check out on the whole store is at the front and then complains about the long lines when just five seconds ago they were standing at an alternate check out.

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                    • The high and mighty: Believes that cashiers are lazy low intelligent grunts with no ambition. Will tell you how if you were only smarter/better/more ambitious/less lazy you would get a better job or go to school. (But clearly you send al your spare time eating, sleeping, and playing those video games). Occasionally brags about what a well paid job they have or the degrees they’ve got.

                      Yet can’t for the life of them figure out this technology of using the card reader.

                      5+ bonus points if they can’t figure out what ‘tap’. Is.
                      5+ more bonus points if they either can’t figure out where to slide their chip in or put it in backwards.
                      10+ bonus points if they need you to press the buttons for them. (Seriously, it’s just like a traffic light. Green means it’s OKAY to go. Yellow is for generally bad choices. Red is for no. Not fucking rocket science.)
                      15+ bonus points if they don’t know what their pin is (and of course it’s your fault it’s not working as they run through every possible combination of random numbers they can think of.)/they tell you the pin out loud for everyone to hear.

                      Usually middle age/late middle age. Can be identified by how their nose is too high in the air to look you in the eye.

                      Oh and if the transaction fails from insufficient funds it’s either your fault or the machine’s obviously broken.
                      Don’t worry about what I’m up to. Worry about why you are worried about what I’m up to.

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                      • Rereading this thread, I'm suddenly feeling like my own grocery store habit might be deemed to suck. I can get a little OCD about how I want groceries organized to make the step of putting stuff away at home easier. At "bag it yourself" places, DH handles bagging, and thinks my preferences make sense, so that's OK.

                        At places where the cashier bags, I'll group items I want bagged together with the desired bag leading that group (e.g. insulated bag, one bagload of frozen/refrigerated, normal bag, one bagload room-temp food, normal bag, one bagload nonfood). Excessively PITA?
                        "Crazy may always be open for business, but on the full moon, it has buy one get one free specials." - WishfulSpirit

                        "Sometimes customers remind me of zombies, but I'm pretty sure that zombies are smarter." - MelindaJoy77

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                        • Quoth AkaiKitsune View Post
                          Oh and if the transaction fails from insufficient funds it’s either your fault or the machine’s obviously broken.
                          Or they swear at you and tell you to "stop pressing decline!"
                          Quoth Seanette View Post
                          Excessively PITA?
                          So long as you communicate your requirements clearly at the start, rather than after they bagged everything "wrong", I'd say you should be okay. Different people have different needs for different reasons.
                          This was one of those times where my mouth says "have a nice day" but my brain says "go step on a Lego". - RegisterAce
                          I can't make something magically appear to fulfill all your hopes and dreams. Believe me, if I could I'd be the first person I'd help. - Trixie

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                          • The Sweater: these customers can be spotters by their excessive sweating either from exercise, overweight, or inability to cope with perfectly normal temperatures. They will always ensure that whatever means of bagging their items (plastic, reusable, etc) is being carried under their armpits or between their legs while unloading more then just their groceries to the cashier. Often unable to figure out why you cringed at having to handle their smelly sweat soaked bags or put actual food in them.

                            Can do no wrong: parent with children who allow their kids to run, scream, pull things off shelves (bonus if it’s fragile) and will complain about how the staff singled out her/his precious darlings and did mental damage to their fragile egos by politely asking them to pleas stop doing that. Also complains when their kids running around cause injury to themselves or to the parents or someone else because of course it’s always someone else’s fault their special snowflake got hurt. “He wouldn’t have fallen down and started crying after running into you if you hadn’t been standing there in one minding your own business while my squealing hoarse ran around loose. You’re a terrible person to knock a kid down!”

                            Rabid: These are the people who thankfully didn’t spawn children of their own but somehow thought they should be responsible for an animal. They always spoil them, fail to have any sort of discipline, and somehow it’s still your fault that the animal is out of control.

                            Snaps at someone? “You startled/scared him. He’s sensitive you know.” Meanwhile the dog is starring as Cujo

                            Obey me now! This is the one who gets a large animal spoils it rotten and wonders why it doesn’t magically listen to them after being denied absolutely nothing it’s entire life. Foists it on a pro trainer (who will generally ask what a routine day looks like while inwardly rolling eyes as after the first few sentences they figure out what’s really the problem and it’s staring them in the face) and wonders why suddenly after a seemingly short period of time the animal will obey the trainer but not them. Often wonders why the trainer asks for their cooperation and assistance during further training and warns away from giving rewards (like apples, sugar cubes, dog treats what have you) indiscriminately.

                            Disney Princess: sees an animal on tv and must have one just like it. Does no research or minimal research. Ignores any red flags that this is not an animal that fits their lifestyle/personality/ability because is “cute” or “cool”. Does not seem to understand why animal does not resemble its movie counterpart in behaviour/mannerisms/performance. Never seemingly realizing that those animals on tv are professionally trained from a young age and those behaviours on screen meant to seem ‘natural’ are trained into them. If you throw your bag on the ground your horse is not going to carry it for you.

                            Disney Fantasy: Watches movie where some no name kid learns to ride in a week and magically wins -insert major event here-. Buys animal, wonders why reality doesn’t reflect the movie. (I have lost count of the amount of morons who want to buy a horse and get all confused when I explain that yes the horse is A-level but you are not. No you can’t just ‘try anyway’ you have to qualify. Then cite -movie tv show- as prof this is how it works “see it says based on a true story! It must be completely accurate with no Hollywood flair to it at all! *cough* Dreamer/Flicka/Moondance Alexander *cough* Game of Thrones (wolfdogs do not make good pets for 99.999999% of people no matter how badass you think you’ll look), various dog shows
                            Don’t worry about what I’m up to. Worry about why you are worried about what I’m up to.

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                            • Quoth Mr. Security View Post
                              DJ Douche bag: Always come in blaring music from their phone or a Bluetooth speaker. If they are told they have to turn it off you get angered reactions or they walk 10 feet out of your sight and turn it right back up. Often the music is of swear riddled rap or hip-hop music and not appropriate for a public setting such as a Library...

                              That guy had a movie appearance.
                              "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

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                              • The story behind that scene is pretty cool. The guy was a PA or some such, and volunteered for the bit.
                                “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged.
                                One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world.
                                The other, of course, involves orcs." -- John Rogers

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