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A canonical list of SCs

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  • The Repeater

    Procedes to tell you why they want to buy something, and then for some ungodly reason, repearting the very long story of why they want to buy something after every followup question you ask related to the order.
    The angels have the phone box.

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    • The are you open - "Good evening, how are you tonight??"

      "Are you open??"

      "NOPE!! I just greeted you to get your hopes up. Here's your sign."

      Comment


      • Quoth Starman View Post
        The are you open - "Good evening, how are you tonight??"

        "Are you open??"

        "NOPE!! I just greeted you to get your hopes up. Here's your sign."
        I need a Like Button!!! This is usually when your light is on and you're standing there. Then if your light is off because (oh, I don't know, it's time to go home) and they will pass by the lanes with lights on to go to yours.
        "They gave me a badge with my name on it. In case I forget who I am." Dr Who - Closing Time

        "I reject your reality and substitute my own." Adam Savage-Mythbusters

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        • Quoth Starman View Post
          Not to be outdone by: The Colorblind : Hands them two drinks. "Which one's which??" "The clear one is Sierra Mist, and the yellow one is Mountain Dew."
          Read about this one in a book about the airline industry by a couple flight attendants.

          P = passenger
          FA = flight attendant

          FA: (with tray of plastic cups of soda) Would you like Coke or Sprite?
          P: Which is which?
          FA: I don't know - I wasn't there when they were poured.
          Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

          Comment


          • Quoth Lovecats View Post
            I need a Like Button!!! This is usually when your light is on and you're standing there. Then if your light is off because (oh, I don't know, it's time to go home) and they will pass by the lanes with lights on to go to yours
            I can even have my Closed sign up and glance up from signing off to see an SC has managed to load most of their crap on the belt. Usually, this happens when I'm physically blocked from leaving the register because of a customer at the next register who is too oblivious/self-important to let me sneak past them. For some reason, even if a cashier is already signed off they are not allowed to refuse a customer who already has items on the belt....although depending on who's running the front end I'm allowed to ignore them if I've been told to do something else/FEM knows that I have a last-minute schedule change and need to be somewhere else five minutes ago.
            "I am quite confident that I do exist."
            "Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The Doctor

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            • Brief BG: I worked night shift in a Mal-Wart that was criminally understaffed. In order to keep from falling behind, we only ran the Self Check machines after about midnight and only opened regular registers for the rare orders that required full cashier powers, such as WIC or Tax Exempt purchases. Otherwise, we were pretty much forbidden to open a register.

              Can only find employees at the front: This person needs help in a department in the back of the store, but can't find (or be bothered to find) an employee who works in that area. Instead, they opt to go all the way up to the front of the store and try to drag a cashier across the store into a department they are unfamiliar with for help. Bonus points if what they need requires extra tools like keys or a ladder that have to be retrieved from the proper employee in the first place.

              Pacers: The people who would rather walk uuuuuup and dooooown the front aisle looking for an open register than ring themselves out or ask for help.

              Optimists: These are the kind of people who will always ask "when" something will happen, rather than "if". For example, if there are lines 40 customers deep, these are the people who will ask "when" you're going to be opening more registers. They'll ask "where" the manned registers are, not if there are any regular registers open at this hour. Seems to believe that by assuming what they want is going to happen anyways they can circumvent the laws of reality.

              Do you know how much I spend here (on food stamps): A variant of the more typical do-you-know-how-much-I-spend-here, this suptype is even more infuriating because they're waving around money from government programs like it makes them special.

              Why aren't all the registers open: Slightly deluded customer who believes that, since there are 30-ish registers in the store, all of them should be open at 3:00 AM with smiling cashiers just waiting to process their transaction. Bonus points if he rants about it at length while being the only customer in the store.

              Why isn't [specialist department] open at night: Customer wants something from a department that doesn't run third shift (pharmacy, jewelry, etc). Typically demands that a manager open the department for them. We usually told them that the day shift hid the keys from us, which worked pretty well.

              Late night stoners: Easy to spot, just look for the group of 4 guys with 15 sandwiches, four giant bags of chips, and half a dozen 2 liters. Probably some of the easiest (and most entertaining) customers you'll ever meet on night shift.

              Can't swipe a card: Everybody knows how to swipe a card through the card machine. Hold the card firmly, push it into the slot so the back edge of the card is laid flat against the back of the machine, swipe quickly down/up. Not this person, who will put their card in at an angle so the machine can't see half the magnetic strip, or swipe too slowly/too quickly, or put their card in backwards. Tends to blame the reader.

              Check borrowers: Used to be, you could write a check on Tuesday for money that'd go in your account on Thursday and the check wouldn't clear til Friday, so you'd be clear. Nowadays, writing a check at a chain store is just like a slow debit purchase, they take the money right out of your account. Typically anybody under 40 writing a check will be either check borrowing or just writing a bad check.

              Clubber who failed to plan ahead: Almost always male, comes sprinting in about 15 minutes after the clubs close and asks where the condoms are, then goes sprinting off in search of the pharmacy department. Wonder if the morning shift gets a morning-after variant...

              Strippers-off-shift: Very tired women, typically in their 20's who just got off from the strip clubs. Some are easier to spot than others, depending on how much effort they put clothing and makeup after the club closes, but they tend to pay with the tell-tale stacks of singles. Can range from hot to pitiful, depending on what they're buying, but typically not troublesome at all, probably because they're exhausted.

              Hookers-off-shift: Very tired women, typically older than the strippers though there's a fair amount of overlap. Harder to spot due to the lack of the telltale stack of singles. Typically either no trouble or major shoplifters, few in between.

              I really hope that's a transvestite: "Woman" who is far, far beyond ugly but tries to dress sexy anyways. Think the Ugly Stepsister from Shrek 2. Complains to get attention. Truly horrifying.


              And that only scratches the surface of the night shift customers who shop at MalWart in the ghetto at night. That was an... interesting job.

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              • List of SCs

                The Deflector: Turns their own attitude back on you. If they are being rude, they accuse you of being rude. If they are irritated, they say you are instead.

                Comment


                • The Prioritizer : Customer's sound system is worth more than the car itself.
                  An guy my brother and I knew back in the 90's had a truck like this...Or, at least, it looked that way. He maintained the engine at least well enough so that it wouldn't randomly seize up and explode while traversing the interstate, it looked like it was one good breeze away from simply falling apart from rust, and contained a really nice $5000 stereo system with a removable front panel. When he was out of the car, he replaced the front panel with a fake one that looked just as bad as the rest of the truck ^_^ Upshot - nobody ever even bothered trying to break into the thing, even if he parked it in one of those areas where the cops don't ever go >_>
                  "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                  "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                  "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                  "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                  "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                  "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                  Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                  "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

                  Comment


                  • Well I'm new here so I wanted to post. There are two kinds of people that REALLY bug me as a cashier. I don't have nicknames for them and I don't know if they've been mentioned or not, but here they are:

                    #1 - That next-in-line customer who interrupts me before I'm done with my current customer. I absolutely hate being interrupted. Seriously, just wait five more seconds.

                    #2 - That person who apparently only has xx amount of dollars to spend, but didn't pay attention to what they were putting in their cart so they have to "put back" half of it, which actually means I have to stuff all of it under my register and then haul it all back to customer service when I'm relieved for break. If you know you only have so much to spend, bring a calculator with you and pay attention!!
                    Sometimes customers remind me of zombies, but I'm pretty sure that zombies are smarter.

                    Comment


                    • The forgetful: you've seen them wondering about the store, they come to the till as you get there are put it all through they then decide they want to have a look around but not pick anything up.... This would be alright if not for 1. They've looked at the item for at least 5 nineties pior to coming to the till while saying to their friend how awful it was, and 2. I have a queue now thanks!!! If you want it brill pick it up if not step away already!!

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                      • I hate self-scan, but I'm doing it now because I can annoy someone: Starts flinging their items across the scanner (with enough force to cause some items to bounce and narrowly miss hitting you) while the previous customer is paying/I'm printing the receipt. Excuse you, cashier lanes ARE NOT SELF-SERVE. Bonus points if you recognize one of these customers as one who has complained about the self-scans and how they never use them.
                        "I am quite confident that I do exist."
                        "Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The Doctor

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                        • I'm right here at the (closed) register: Stands for a full five or six or sometimes up to 10 minutes at the closed register. Ignores any sign of it being closed such as the closed sign, or lack of clerk behind the counter. Seems visible irritated when a parade of customers have come in, shopped, and checked out before they have.

                          Food service area is closed? Better make mine fresh then!
                          : This is a particularly crafty devil that waits in the shadows until all signs of a food service area in a convenience/retail shop has closed down and begins storing the food items. They tend to have a strong hunger pain for whatever it is that is currently out of stock or has become ice cold. Don't let this seemingly pushy one succeed in making an order as it signals the attention of many others.

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                          • "[no handle for this one]. - A lonely person who insist on hanging in the store and engaging you in conversation about his weird obsession."

                            tag: "The awkward tenant"

                            Comment


                            • Quoth spiraloutse4n View Post
                              "[no handle for this one]. - A lonely person who insist on hanging in the store and engaging you in conversation about his weird obsession."

                              tag: "The awkward tenant"
                              The Spoony One called them Counter Monkeys.
                              Low lie the Fields of Athenry/ Where once we watched the small free birds fly/ Our love was on the wing/ we had dreams and songs to sing/ It's so lonely around the Fields of Athenry

                              Comment


                              • The Racist- He stands at the register making racist comments, and insists that he has the right to do this because he is American.

                                The College Brat-Always comes into fast food joints and asks for a specific order (like a beef n cheddar for example) and when you repeat his order back to him using the stores terminology (that's a number four combo?) he looks at you and repeats what he's said in the most condescending way possible (THAT'S a beef n' cheddar!) Oh right, but you can't possibly know more than him because he's in college and you work in fast food.. snort..

                                The Money Tosser- they insist on throwing the money at the cashiers (even if they have their hand out), and then have the nerve to ask why they look mad.

                                The Toucher- while they are handing over the money, they insist on grabbing your hand and usually have a stupid grin on their face.
                                Last edited by pinky; 12-22-2013, 04:31 PM.
                                “I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat.”
                                ― Rebecca West

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