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The New Thing is Punching Stuff Until It Works
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Old 11-22-2013, 02:58 PM
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Gaki Gaki is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: A cardboard box
Posts: 553
Default The New Thing is Punching Stuff Until It Works

What is wrong with you????

SC1: I can't get the pump to work.
Me: *walks out and pushes the grade button and walks back inside without a word*
SC1: I was DOING THAT.


SC2: I can't get the pump to work.
Me: Push the grade button. Push it until the green lights stop flashing.
SC2: I'm doing that.
Me: Just push it. Push the bottom of the button... *muttering* fuck it. *walks out and pushes the button*
SC2: I did that! I did this! *punches it hard*
Me: You don't PUNCH it, you PRESS it. Punching things is what breaks them. *goes back inside*

CLOSED

There is a closed sign in front of the mens room because I'm cleaning it and when I clean the mens room, I clean it HARD CORE with the pressure washer. So everything gets covered in slippery soap, the walls, the floor, everything.

SC1: Hey can I use the bathroom?
Me: No.
SC1: ...uh...why?
Me: Well mostly because if you slip and fall in here and you break your face, that's my fault for letting you in.
SC1: ....oh.

*SC2 opens the door*
Me: There is a closed sign in front of the door. Did you move it?
SC2: Uh...I didn't see anyone so...
Me: Here I am. You can't use the bathroom right now, nothing is set up, nothing is wiped down, and I haven't mopped.
SC2: Do I care?
Me: I do. If you keep standing here talking to me, I'm never going to finish.

What happened?

We had a "police incident" that we're not supposed to talk about to any of the customers or the media. PM me if you're curious but really, it was an ordeal, nobody could get to the store, and the whole road in front of the store was closed down for about 2 and a half hours.

The next day everyone was curious.

Awesome Customer: Hey, what was up last night? I couldn't even go home my normal way and there were tons of cops.
Me: We're not authorized to discuss it, all questions must be directed to the corporate office.
AC: Ah, I get you. I'll see if I can find it on the news. Thanks!

SC: What happened last night?
Me: We're not authorized to discuss it, all questions must be directed to the corporate office.
SC: Well can you discuss it with a cop? *flashes a badge at me but when I try to read it he snaps it shut*
Me: No.
SC: ...oh ah hahaha...uh, I wouldn't make you do that anyway.
Me: ...