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  • Need help dealing with a co-worker

    I need advice regarding how to deal with a co-worker of mine.

    He is a special needs co-worker. When you have a conversation with him, you notice that there is a disconnect in his brain. So, getting your point across to him is challenging.

    Both of us are cashiers working for a major grocery store chain.

    He makes noises while working such as “yee haw, yahoo!!” and so on which is a distraction for me and for my co-workers. My co-workers and I have talked about how distracting he is at work.

    Front-end management and store management have spoken to him about his behavior, but he continues to act this way.

    He also acts like a supervisor even though he is not. He reminds you of what you need to do as a cashier.

    He also reaches over the cash register where you are to grab the receipt for your customer, and then gives it to them. This happens when he is working at the cash register in front of you.

    He keeps track of his co-workers’ schedules, and when you either start work early or leave later, he says to you “aren’t you supposed to work from x time to x time?” This happens when you are either asked by a supervisor or a manager to either come in early or stay late.

    Many of us are losing our patience when dealing with him.
    Last edited by snugglegirl05; 07-06-2019, 10:09 PM.

  • #2
    Ouch. This is particularly tough because he IS special needs.

    Nonetheless, somebody has got to let him know this kind of behaviour isn't acceptable.

    How harsh are you allowed/willing to get with him?

    When he reaches across you to grab a receipt, can you push his arm away and tell him, sharply, to stop it?

    CW: "But I just want to give them their receipt!"

    Cashier: "You are on your own register. You give them the receipts from YOUR register, not from other people's."

    Admittedly, this would mean doing so in front of customers, so I don't know how well it would play out. But if somebody doesn't stop him, I predict that sooner or later some poor staffer, driven to distraction, will REALLY blow a gasket and that will be far, far worse.

    When he reminds you of how to do your job, ignore him. If he tries to repeat it, look at him coldly and say "I KNOW that." Then go back to what you were doing. If he tries to justify explaining things you already know, just keep ignoring him.

    When he questions you about your work schedule, can you say "I don't have to explain it to you; go ask management"? (If he does so often enough, management might finally decide to deal with the situation.)

    About the noises, I can only imagine how frustrating that must be. I suspect the only way management will deal with it is if the customers complain, since your and your coworkers' complaints seem to be falling on deaf ears.

    I'm sorry if this sounds cruel, but this is a work environment and not a social situation. You can give a lot more leeway to people with issues in the latter than in the former.
    Customer service: More efficient than a Dementor's kiss
    ~ Mr Hero

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    • #3
      Honestly, as a customer, I'd find this guy off-putting at best. Is he not paying attention to HIS customers while he's grabbing stuff in other workers' space? The weird vocalizations would also be worrisome.

      As a cashier, about the third or fourth time someone made a grab at MY register, I'd be blowing my stack about apparent theft attempts.
      "Crazy may always be open for business, but on the full moon, it has buy one get one free specials." - WishfulSpirit

      "Sometimes customers remind me of zombies, but I'm pretty sure that zombies are smarter." - MelindaJoy77

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      • #4
        It sounds like he may be stuck where he is because HR don't want to risk anything, but they're not helping him and they're not helping you all either. Whatever issues he may have, they obviously aren't compatible with working front end in a respectful manner for all concerned.
        This was one of those times where my mouth says "have a nice day" but my brain says "go step on a Lego". - RegisterAce
        I can't make something magically appear to fulfill all your hopes and dreams. Believe me, if I could I'd be the first person I'd help. - Trixie

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        • #5
          Quoth RealUnimportant View Post
          It sounds like he may be stuck where he is because HR does not want to risk anything, but they're not helping him, and they're not helping you all either. Whatever issues he may have, they obviously aren't compatible with working front end in a respectful manner for all concerned.
          So what should I and my co-workers do about that?

          Comment


          • #6
            I'm familiar with special needs. In many cases you need a firm response to teach them to not perform bad behavior - responses that would be highly improper in a retail situation.

            The only solution I can think of is to do some training for him after hours, performing some fake transactions, and then yelling "NO!" when he behaves improperly. Physically hitting him with something soft, like a pillow or an empty plastic bottle, would also help reinforce the training.

            And to everyone who recoils in horror that you're treating a human being like you're training a dog - yes, there's more than a little in common with that. There's lots in common with classical army training as well.

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            • #7
              He has been & still is insubordinate to the front end supervisors, the assistant front end manager & the front end manager.

              He has stated that he “had put his foot down” when he is told to go on break either by one if the front end supervisors or by one if the front end managers because he did not want to go on break at that time.

              He has also stated that he has told the front end manager that he will not go on break when told to when does not want to at that time.

              Comment


              • #8
                Based on a cursory reading of this thread, it's possible that your co-worker is on the Autism spectrum.

                It's possible that he may need a "lesson" (as it were) on "expected" versus "unexpected" behavior (i.e. snatching the receipt from another cashier is "unexpected behavior"). It may just be a "coaching" issue. Not that he isn't being coached, but whatever they're doing to "coach" him isn't working. It sounds like there's a bit of rigidity there, too, in that he "expects" to do things at certain times (or, in the case of noting when employees clock in/out, also expects others to do things at certain times).

                I know this sounds an awful lot like controlling and conditioning, and it may well, be, but it sounds like he may need some good guidance on social skills and different guidance (i.e. reasoning with him in a different way) regarding workplace behavior.
                Skilled programmers aren't cheap. Cheap programmers aren't skilled.

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                • #9
                  So I do have some experience in this area as my brother is autistic and some days it’s unnoticeable and others he needs managing constantly. This is a list of things that I have found work in the past as my brother exhibits some of the behaviour mentioned.

                  Sit him down and explain in detail what is his responsibility. Be very specific, the more specific the better. Include things you wouldn’t normally include (the stuff that generally goes unsaid because it’s already generally accepted as being a part of the job). Don’t do it in a way that comes off as “hey cut this shit out we’re getting complaints from staff and customers.” But rather as clarification. More of a “hey we aren’t sure what you have and haven’t been told but let’s go through everything together just in case things were missed”. Clarity is key.

                  Some of what you are describing sounds like an extreme case of mimicking or mirroring. He probably knows he’s ‘different’ and he wants to show you he knows the next thing that you are supposed to do. (Such as grabbing the receipt after an order). Unfortunately this isn’t appropriate behaviour. What he’s doing is mimicking what he has seen and mirroring the action that he knows comes next. It’s not a conscious thing but part of the disconnect. He wants to show you so he does it at your till.

                  One thing that has worked for my brother (who has no understanding of social cues or personal space sometimes) is to take coloured tape and simply divide they till in two with a straight line. Everything on one side is his responsibility and everything on the other is the other cashiers responsibility. One way to word it too is that you have seen he can do a good job and you need everyone to work just as hard. It sounds like he wants to be helpful but doesn’t understand what is helpful and what is not. If you word it so that everything and anything he does on his side is helpful and everything on the other side of the line is not then it’s easier to understand as he seems to miss the social cues that people are annoyed. Using the line made of tape gives something visual and consistent that he can clue into. It’s hard for people who don’t naturally read body language to understand what is going unspoken as different people will display emotions differently. It’s not a constant thing that someone can say if they do this then they mean that.

                  For breaks and refusing to go on them explain that each person requires a break by law if they work there. Explain that the breaks are in a certain order at a certain time to ensure that nobody gets missed and that everyone is where they are supposed to be. He will likely never grasp why it has to be at that specific time as opposed to an hour later. But if you show him the break list and how it’s decided his own mind will work against him. It’s a schedule and just like the schedule that says when you start/end your shift it is something that can be understood. Right now it probably seems like a bunch of arbitrary numbers scrapped on a paper. He doesn’t understand there’s a format to it. Perhaps start with something he understands already like how people start at x time and end at y.

                  For telling you what you need to do. Try telling him every once in a while that you have to do x,y,z and a few other things next. Make it less of a come up and tell him and more an overheard remark. Like you’re talking to yourself almost. He probably keeps a mental checklist and he will likely check those items off in his head and do the equivalent of “okay she knows what to do next I don’t need to remind her.” If he does try to tell you what to do next cut him off when he is about to list something with what you should be doing. Eventually he will understand that you do know what you’re doing. It’s a similar situation to when a teacher calls on a sleeping student to answer a question, expecting confusion, but getting the right answer instead. His mind sees you as the sleeping student who doesn’t seem to him to be following the lesson but you are really the student who already knows the material so when prompted you have an answer.

                  For scheduling I assume you have a binder or some such at the front like most FE jobs. Is there any way to highlight his hours and let him no personally that these are his hours? Sometimes typing up a sheet separately and handing it personally will also help because he’s not being overwhelmed with information. With a highlighter he would be drawn to the bright colour over everyone else’s schedule and he wouldn’t be as focussed on reading everything to ensure he doesn’t miss anything.

                  Don’t know what to do about the yelling as it may be entirely involuntary. In the sense that he may feel an overwhelming compulsion to say this and no matter how hard he tries he needs to scratch the proverbial itch. I know there are redirection exercises that sometimes work. Like having to do a certain action every time he wants to yell out. For instance my brother who is autistic self harms. He will slam his head against the nearest surface, he will claw his arms with his nails, he will punch walls if he’s pushed too far. Instead of doing these actions he’s knows now that he has to knock three times slowly on the nearest surface before he can do any behaviour when he’s frustrated or angry. This interrupts the compulsive behaviour with something else and forces him to concentrate on something that is less harmful (or in your case disruptive). By the time he’s finished the action he’s not in the same state of mind as he was before. Because my brother has a very physical reaction we’ve used a physical approach to solving it by requiring him to knock. It’s a physical action to interrupt a physical compulsion. Since your coworker is verbal try repeating a phrase instead.

                  Hope this helps. If you want you can PM or email me at 1989kitsune@gmail.com
                  Don’t worry about what I’m up to. Worry about why you are worried about what I’m up to.

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                  • #10
                    Quoth AkaiKitsune View Post
                    {snip for awesome advice}
                    I'll be keeping a note of this elsewhere for other applications... that's really helpful, thanks!
                    This was one of those times where my mouth says "have a nice day" but my brain says "go step on a Lego". - RegisterAce
                    I can't make something magically appear to fulfill all your hopes and dreams. Believe me, if I could I'd be the first person I'd help. - Trixie

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth RealUnimportant View Post
                      I'll be keeping a note of this elsewhere for other applications... that's really helpful, thanks!
                      No problem. At least you guys are trying. There are more then a few places who hire someone with a disability on a ‘trial base’ to check off that I’ve got diversity box, usually under a ‘training wage’ and as soon as they have to legally start paying them the same as everyone else the pull the ‘we are so sorry you don’t fit here bye’ card. Up until that point they are constantly calling them in, constantly exclaiming what a good employee they are, having them train other staff and on occasion do their job for them while reaping the benefits of a hard worker and still claiming it their own work... yes I’m still bitter that the company my brother was doing a trial with (to study the way autistic people solve problems vs ‘normal’ people) screwed him out of one of those fancy ass scientist prizes, took the monetary award and refused to acknowledge that he was part of the team at all let alone the one who was able to solve some above my intelligence problem with genetics that later led to certain strains of this disease being fixed in the womb so they never had to deal with the crippling effects when they were born. He wasn’t the only one frozen out. Strangely enough all the people who were screwed over were of the variety who had a mental disability or another. Even the control group of ‘normal’ people were mentioned in passing. It would have been nice to have the acknowledgement as curing diseases tends to look good on the resume. It’s not as if he could have used it to get a scholarship or something. But they wouldn’t even let him have that.
                      Don’t worry about what I’m up to. Worry about why you are worried about what I’m up to.

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                      • #12
                        I posted in another thread in this forum that my employer is doing daily written evaluations at the front-end for all front-end employees.

                        This particular employee has been subdued for the past 2 days.

                        My co-workers & I wonder if he received a Not so good written evaluation & was told what he needs to do to improve.

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                        • #13
                          Now he is literally taking the next customer in line @ my register, whose groceries are already on the belt, & moving them to his register all in the name of good customer service.

                          My co-workers & I do not do that unless there is an issue with another cashiers register, which will take a while to resolve.

                          This was not the case with my register.

                          It was working properly.

                          This is frustrating & irritating to me.

                          How should I handle this when he does that again?
                          Last edited by snugglegirl05; 07-31-2019, 09:39 PM.

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