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Trying so hard to hang on

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  • #31
    My 'stop thinking that way' technique used to be reciting the alphabet backwards. Now it's gotten too easy, so I've taken to calculating the fibionacci sequence.

    Anything - ANYTHING - which keeps your brain too busy to think unhelpful or dangerous thoughts works.
    Seshat's self-help guide:
    1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
    2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
    3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
    4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

    "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

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    • #32
      What's the fibionacci sequence?

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      • #33
        1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55... It's a sequence of numbers in which you get the next number by adding the previous two.
        "Eventually, everything that you have said becomes everything you will ever say." Eireann

        My pony dolls: http://equestriarags.tumblr.com

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        • #34
          Quoth Seshat View Post
          My 'stop thinking that way' technique used to be reciting the alphabet backwards. Now it's gotten too easy, so I've taken to calculating the fibionacci sequence.
          Hey, thanks, I've been looking for something new to use. The Litany Against Fear isn't working much anymore, and I've basically memorize doubling (1*2=2, 2*2=4, etc.) up to the point where I can't remember that many numbers at once.
          The High Priest is an Illusion!

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          • #35
            I used to use the sequence of the tarot: The Fool, The Magician, The High Priestess, The Empress, The Emperor, The Hierophant, The Lovers, The Chariot, Strength, The Hermit, The Wheel, Justice, The Hanged Man, Death, Temperance, The Devil, The Tower, The Star, The Moon, The Sun, The Last Judgment, The World.
            Customers should always be served . . . to the nearest great white.

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            • #36
              Update: I mostly managed to stay sane this week. Oddly enough, the thing that helped the most was getting into the My Little Pony cartoon. It's funny, well-made, and mostly importantly, relentlessly cheerful. I watched all of both seasons twice, and made the little pony rag dolls. It at least kept me distracted from thinking about anything else. So, yay for that.

              I can still tell that things aren't better. I don't feel present in anything I do; everything feels like a dream that I'm floating through. I don't really have any hope in anything, but at least I don't actively want to die right now, so that's good. I tried finding some low-cost mental health options locally, but each website is a mess of disjointed info, something I'd have a hard time sorting through even when my brain was functioning correctly.

              I still don't know what's going to happen. A couple of close friends, people who have been anchors in my life, are about to move several states away and I'm having trouble coping with that. So...nothing's better, but nothing's gotten worse either. Status quo, I guess?
              "Eventually, everything that you have said becomes everything you will ever say." Eireann

              My pony dolls: http://equestriarags.tumblr.com

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              • #37
                Quoth JoitheArtist View Post
                Update:
                I can still tell that things aren't better. I don't feel present in anything I do; everything feels like a dream that I'm floating through. I don't really have any hope in anything, but at least I don't actively want to die right now, so that's good. I tried finding some low-cost mental health options locally, but each website is a mess of disjointed info, something I'd have a hard time sorting through even when my brain was functioning correctly.

                I still don't know what's going to happen. A couple of close friends, people who have been anchors in my life, are about to move several states away and I'm having trouble coping with that. So...nothing's better, but nothing's gotten worse either. Status quo, I guess?
                Hi there! Thanks for stopping by, and we really appreciate your business! Come back soon! (ok ok bad humor)
                Would you please download this document, and track your moods? There is a number list on the right to kind of "steer" you towards the right kind of feelings you are experiencing. That chart can help you track WHEN or WHAT makes you funky. This is data collection, plain and simple. But when you find help, bring this in, they will thank you. http://bit.ly/JKRtHj It is possible to have swings in one day, mark those too. And your period, hormones can really fuck with our behavior.
                I'm currently working on an hourly one, so bear with me, if you'd rather use that.

                Ok. You've found a way to cheer you up sorta, and distraction. Those 2 are beautiful coping skills when you're all hosed inside. (Hey, I get a silver medal, I'm pretty good at using those). Listen. Once in awhile I'll get an unhappy thought stuck in my head on continuous loop. And I know that I'll get MORE wound up if it keeps running. So, my thing is to count car colors. Silver's the most common, so I'll shoot for red or yellow, and count that. I know, dorky, huh..but it works.
                Another coping skill is *rummage...wtf my homework is missing* square breathing, it helps you slow down by making you stop and just focus on your breathing. Hopefully it empties your head (that's the goal) and you can come back to reality and go from there. Breathing: Inhale slowly, belly breathing, slowly counting to 4. Hold for 4 counts. Exhale slowly to count of 4. Repeat about 4 times. After that, you might be able to think "hm. Ok, not feeling so weird at the moment, let's go pick up a pony project." Or "well, not perfect, still a bit up above the level 10 min ago. Go for a walk? Ok, let's go"
                I admit, exercising is VERY hard when a person is depressed, the couch has a very strong ass magnet in it. But once I start moving, it's better, I mostly forget the unhappy thought, and I lighten up a lot.

                More things for distraction: Watch a movie. Music. Your pony animals. Organize the closet (yeah yeah). Count cars. Count backwards. Paint, draw, doodle. Play video games. Go for a walk. Go for a drive. Sit outside and wiggle toes in grass (Pretty Woman!) Gardening. Cooking (be careful to not be an emotional eater)
                I'm currently volunteering at a food bank.
                Helping you stop and cope: Breathing. More distraction. Remind self this IS temporary and you have help. Yell at yourself STOP when you get a thought looping. (you will have to consciously change gears at that time). Journal, get the shit out of your head.

                Create a routine in your day, for me that helps. I have a weekly schedule, each DAY is loose, but the week is pretty steady. So I make myself get up and fulfill those responsibilities. Just like work.
                Again, give yourself daily missions to achieve or to at least attempt. Don't tell yourself 40912349182374983 things for today. You know your limit right now. But don't cheat and lie to yourself or procrastinate. And, well, if those aren't totally achieved, well, you tried. (notice the active verb in there)

                Honey, send me your city and state; I can try doing some Google-fu for you, but I'm not going to do all of it!
                I give this advice because I've used it, I still use it, and I can definitely see benefits. It did take me a while to buy into it and really work with it. But they have come in so handy, it's amazing for me. Start slow, please.

                Hugs, good chocolate and warm snuggly blankets (those always make me smile)
                In my heart, in my soul, I'm a woman for rock & roll.
                She's as fast as slugs on barbituates.

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                • #38
                  Do the websites have any contact information? Maybe you could email them and explain your situation. They might be able to point you in the right direction.


                  By the way, you are doing better than you think. Even if the crafting and My Little Pony is just a distraction, the fact that you're taking the time to even attempt to distract yourself is a step in the right direction.
                  Question authority, but raise your hand first. -Alan M. Bershowitz

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