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  • #16
    How many pro wrestlers does it take to change a lightbulb?

    One to "take out" the old lightbulb, one to get the new lightbulb over, one to get some heat off the new lightbulb's brilliance, and one to complain that the lightbulb has been holding him back for years.

    It's mostly only funny to wrestlers but I still like it
    "Maybe the problem just went away...maybe it was the magical sniper fairy that comes and gives silenced hollow point rounds to people who don't eat their vegetables."

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    • #17
      Q - How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
      A - Any number, but they always screw it up.

      Q - How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
      A - Four. One to change the bulb, and three to write about how the bulb is exploiting the socket.

      Q - How many believable, competent, "just right for the job" presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?
      A - It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?

      Q - How many Chinamen does it take to change a light bulb?
      A - Thousands, because Confucious say many hands make light work.

      Q - How many Mafia hitmen does it take to change a light bulb?
      A - Three. One to screw it in, one to watch, and one to shoot the witness.

      A - One.
      Q - How many psychics does it take to change a light bulb?
      Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. --Enzo Ferrari

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      • #18
        How many algebra professors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

        Solve for X.



        How many [noun] does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

        [number] [reason why number is hilarious]

        Mad libs? I never metahumor I didn't like.
        There is no .sig that still seems clever 50 posts later.

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        • #19
          A few science fiction lightbulb jokes.

          How many Daleks does it take to screw in a light bulb?
          Why would they want to replace the light bulb they just exterminated.

          How many vulcans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
          2 but they can only do it once every 7 years.

          How many red shirts (TOS) does it take?
          Nobody knows they keep dying.

          How many officers (TNG) does it take?
          The entire bridge staff but only after a briefing and they try to talk it into changing on its own.

          How many Klingons does it take?
          3, one to change it and the others to chant a lightbulb changing opera.

          How many Talosians (TOS) does it take to change a light bulb?
          Just one but they only make you think the bulb changed.
          (If you get that reference then welcome to the trek cluub...)

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          • #20
            I am able to change a lightbulb by myself:

            I hold the bulb to the socket and the world revolves around me.
            This is not a real font!!

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            • #21
              Quoth Rahmota View Post
              How many Klingons does it take?
              3, one to change it and the others to chant a lightbulb changing opera.
              Here's an alternate version:
              How many Klingons does it take to change a lightbulb?
              None. Klingons aren't afraid of the dark.

              I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
              My LiveJournal
              A page we can all agree with!

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              • #22
                How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

                5. One to do it and 4 others to joke about the screwing part

                How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

                2. The problem is getting them in there in the first place

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                • #23
                  Kind of OT, but how did the lightbulb joke originate, do you know? I mean, I just wonder if it's cause lightbulb changing is supposed to be so simple and it's joking insult, or what?

                  Anyways, here's my contribution....

                  How many Taliban does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

                  None. The lightbulb was created by an American. JIHAD!

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                  • #24
                    Kind of OT, but how did the lightbulb joke originate, do you know? I mean, I just wonder if it's cause lightbulb changing is supposed to be so simple and it's joking insult, or what?
                    Well, the light bulb joke dates back to the founding of Venice in 421...

                    (no, I couldn't find their origin. Instead I found a page of Star Trek scripts about changing light bulbs)
                    http://www.eviloverlord.com/parodies/
                    Now the trouble about trying to make yourself stupider than you really are is that you very often succeed.

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                    • #25
                      Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to change a human?
                      A: TIME PARADOX
                      "We were put on this Earth to fart around, and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise." -Kurt Vonnegut

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                      • #26
                        Some more Star Trek jokes

                        Q. How many humans does it take to change a lightbult?
                        A. Lightbulb? What's a lightbulb

                        Q. How many Ferengi does it take to change a lightbulb?
                        A. Ferengi don't make change

                        Q. How many Cardassians does it take to change a lightbulb?
                        A. Two. One to do it and the other to kill him and take all the credit
                        My formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night. In between, I occupy myself as best I can.---Cary Grant

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                        • #27
                          How many skaters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

                          Hella.
                          You're not doing me a favor by eating here. I'm doing you a favor by feeding you.

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                          • #28
                            How many People with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb

                            Hey wanna go ride bikes!

                            (if you get this then you know what its |:-P

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                            • #29
                              How many Marxists does it take to change a lightbulb?
                              None. The lightbulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
                              Haikus are easy
                              But sometimes they don't make sense
                              Refrigerator

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                              • #30
                                Q: How many divorced men does it take to change a lightbulb?

                                A: Nobody knows-the judge never gives them the house.
                                I pray for the strength to change what I can, the inability to change what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference -Calvin, Calvin & Hobbes

                                Being a pessimist and cynical wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't right so often!

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