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  • Thanks for the business tips

    BG - I work for a very small water purification company that punches well above its weight in terms of contracts. However, we also run an internet store because our products are certainly not held in every chain store. BG/

    I got a call the other day from a very posh sounding lady and I could actually hear her catbutt face over the phone.

    SC: "Hello? I just bought your product in Alpha stores on Kensington road."
    Me: "Oh yes?"
    SC: "Why did I have to walk all the way down Kensington road to find it?"
    Me: "Umm"
    SC: "I tried five sports stores and none of them carried it."
    Me: "I'm sorry that you've had trouble finding -"
    SC: "It's a good product, don't get me wrong, but why do you make me go so far?"
    Me: "Well madam, we do try-"
    SC: "Why don't you try getting it into more stores?"
    Me: "We are -"
    SC: "I mean, Hatroods*, for instance. Why don't you try to get into Hatroods?"

    Gee, thanks for the business lesson, I didn't think of trying to sell our products in a store!

    Now, Hatroods is Britain's most exclusive and expensive store. They have a dress code for customers, FFS! A carrier bag to put your shopping in costs around £15.00.

    The way it works is that selling to chain stores is less profit for us, more products turned over, as opposed to our internet store, which is the exact opposite.

    It takes an awful lot of product to be sold for us to break even. The problem is that our products cost US a lot of money to make. Sometimes the margins just aren't there for us.

    Anyway, 9 minutes and 47 seconds later (yes, I timed it), she thought she had browbeaten me enough and left me with this parting shot:

    SC: "Anyway, next time, please make it easier for me to purchase."
    Me:

    Yeah, right. Fuck you, lady.

    *Not the store's real name and any similarity to any other store is purely coincidental.
    There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is? A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet.

  • #2
    Hatroods put a 30% mark-up on everything they sell (compared to the same object in another store). That's the price of the kudos you might get from other Retail Victims because you bought it at Hatroods. It's also the price of not knowing your a**se from your elbow.

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    • #3
      omg! I love how it seems as if you intentionally refuse to sell on other stores JUST to make her walk farther! I could see the board meeting right now.

      CEO: We are finalizing contract agreements to sell in Hatroods.
      COO: WAIT! NO! Then that woman off Kensington Road will not have to walk as far!
      CEO: By Jupiter, you are right! We have to cancel the deal!
      Fiancee: We're going to need to do laundry. I'm out of clean pants.
      Me: Sounds like a job for Gravekeeper!
      Fiancee: What?!
      Me: Nevermind.

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      • #4
        "Easier to purchase"? And you have an internet store already?

        The internet takes 30 seconds, lady, and you don't even have to walk anywhere.

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        • #5
          Quoth thehuckster View Post
          omg! I love how it seems as if you intentionally refuse to sell on other stores JUST to make her walk farther! I could see the board meeting right now.

          CEO: We are finalizing contract agreements to sell in Hatroods.
          COO: WAIT! NO! Then that woman off Kensington Road will not have to walk as far!
          CEO: By Jupiter, you are right! We have to cancel the deal!
          this is exactly what I pictured too!
          Ne auderis delere orbem rigidum meum! - Don't you dare erase my hard disk!

          This is Tech Support, not Customer Service.
          What's the difference?
          We're allowed to tell you "no".

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          • #6
            Somebody might want to clue her in on a little thing called public transportation. If she hasn't got her own car, she can take a bus or a taxi, if it's such a hardship to walk down the street.
            When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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