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  • 'How are you?' is not a medical enquiry

    Not so much sucky but....when the woman on the till asks you how are you the correct reply is something like 'Fine thanks' or an observation on the weather.
    You do not reply 'I've got this horrible ulcer in my mouth..want to see?'
    The Copyright Monster has made me tell you that my avatar is courtesy of the wonderful Alice XZ.And you don't want to annoy the Copyright Monster.

  • #2
    I am on both sides of this.
    I had a coworker who seemed to genuinely think this question was meant in earnest, and would reply with things like "Well, my last surgery didn't go as well as they hoped, so I have to go back into the hospital on Thursday."

    On the other hand, I am fully in favor of breaking people of the habit of asking this particular question on the grounds that they don't actually care about the answer and the most polite response to it is to lie. I don't like lying to people, and I don't like that I habitually do.
    If what you wanted was simply social petting, what you wanted to say was "Hello", to which I would reply likewise.

    As for how I am, which as I am a cashier I am asked 50 to 100 times a day, the answer is mostly likely that I am in a lot of pain from standing, and am slightly pissed off from the massively rude jackass who was in here 5 minutes ago. And now slightly more annoyed, because you asked but you didn't want me to answer.

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    • #3
      Quoth SpyOne View Post
      I am on both sides of this.
      I had a coworker who seemed to genuinely think this question was meant in earnest, and would reply with things like "Well, my last surgery didn't go as well as they hoped, so I have to go back into the hospital on Thursday."

      On the other hand, I am fully in favor of breaking people of the habit of asking this particular question on the grounds that they don't actually care about the answer and the most polite response to it is to lie. I don't like lying to people, and I don't like that I habitually do.

      If what you wanted was simply social petting, what you wanted to say was "Hello", to which I would reply likewise.

      As for how I am, which as I am a cashier I am asked 50 to 100 times a day, the answer is mostly likely that I am in a lot of pain from standing, and am slightly pissed off from the massively rude jackass who was in here 5 minutes ago. And now slightly more annoyed, because you asked but you didn't want me to answer.
      Yeah, but one of the Supervisors at work wants me to be more engaging at work & say more than just hello and thank you.

      I work as a cashier for a *major grocery store* chain, and the front-end employees have been evaluated on a weekly basis for the past several months.

      So, I have been saying "hi, how are you?" ever since she told me that I need to be more engaging.

      But then, most of my customers do not say much beyond the polite niceties.

      And, I gauge how engaging my customers are based on their response.

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      • #4
        Quoth snugglegirl05 View Post
        *snip*

        So, I have been saying "hi, how are you?" ever since she told me that I need to be more engaging.

        But then, most of my customers do not say much beyond the polite niceties.

        And, I gauge how engaging my customers are based on their response.
        Exactly the same with me. At most, I will say "Well, I could definitely use a coffee" or "Fine but I'd be better if this machine would be more cooperative today" (lightly whacking the aged cash register).

        It sure never occurred to me to offer to play Show and Tell with anybody ... and I suspect management would have Words with me if I did. (Thankfully I've not run into any customers who want to do that either.)
        Customer service: More efficient than a Dementor's kiss
        ~ Mr Hero

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        • #5
          May I suggest, as a question that is "more engaging" yet does not call for a lie as a response, "Did you find everything you needed today?"
          Cashiers occasionally ask me that.

          It has the advantage that, if the answer is no, you have the opportunity to be helpful, or at least seem helpful, depending on whether you can help the customer find the object of their quest or merely pass their request on to management.

          I understand the problems on being evaluated based on a script written by someone with little contact with the real world. "Suggestive selling" was officially dead when, on Beavis and Butthead, a character who was supposed to be an idiot and twelve responded to "would you like fries with that?" with "Did I ask for fries with that, dumbass?", but I am still expected to "plus sell" to every customer.

          If you would like, I could speak directly to your manager and offer a "customer complaint" illustrating how asking how I am, unless you genuinely want the genuine answer, is actually rude.

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          • #6
            "Good enough," "still alive," "getting there" were all my staples when I still worked, unless you were regular who actually had engaged me in conversation and knew the shit going on.

            Engaging doesn't mean it needs to be personal, it just means more depth than "hello." SpyOne's suggestion is as good as any.
            This was one of those times where my mouth says "have a nice day" but my brain says "go step on a Lego". - RegisterAce
            I can't make something magically appear to fulfill all your hopes and dreams. Believe me, if I could I'd be the first person I'd help. - Trixie

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            • #7
              Quoth SpyOne View Post
              May I suggest, as a question that is "more engaging" yet does not call for a lie as a response, "Did you find everything you needed today?"

              Cashiers occasionally ask me that.

              It has the advantage that, if the answer is no, you have the opportunity to be helpful, or at least seem helpful, depending on whether you can help the customer find the object of their quest or merely pass their request on to management.

              I understand the problems on being evaluated based on a script written by someone with little contact with the real world. "Suggestive selling" was officially dead when, on Beavis and Butthead, a character who was supposed to be an idiot and twelve responded to "would you like fries with that?" with "Did I ask for fries with that, dumbass?", but I am still expected to "plus sell" to every customer.

              If you would like, I could speak directly to your manager and offer a "customer complaint" illustrating how asking how I am, unless you genuinely want the genuine answer, is actually rude.
              Regarding the bolded part in red...

              There is not much a cashier can do if the customer says no and complains about it because we cannot solve that problem.

              So what should the cashier say if the customer says "no" and complains about what they could not find and so on because few customers want to speak to a manager when that happens?

              They just want to vent, and that is not a reason why I want to be engaging with a customer.
              Last edited by snugglegirl05; 09-13-2019, 03:25 PM.

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              • #8
                Cashier at Dollar General asked me that yesterday. I politely responded that I had stopped by looking for a seasonal item but it looked like they were sold out. She told me they had a whole cart in the back and went to get it. She made a bigger sale and I got what I had been looking for.

                Sometimes that question can be good, just depends on circumstances.

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                • #9
                  Quoth RealUnimportant View Post
                  "Good enough," "still alive," "getting there" were all my staples when I still worked, unless you were regular who actually had engaged me in conversation and knew the shit going on.
                  My go-to response for a "how's it going" type of question is a shrug and a mutter of, "Eh, well, you know."
                  PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

                  There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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                  • #10
                    On the few occasions where I DID miss something, I have often had a similar experience as scales did. In most stores, though, the cashier can't leave the register area, but they knew exactly where to direct me.
                    "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                    "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
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                    • #11
                      Quoth RealUnimportant View Post
                      "Good enough," "still alive," "getting there" were all my staples...
                      "Vertical and above ground."
                      “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged.
                      One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world.
                      The other, of course, involves orcs." -- John Rogers

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                      • #12
                        "I'm here, and I'm even wearing pants."

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                        • #13
                          "Vital signs are good."
                          PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

                          There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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