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I swear they keep getting worse...

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  • I swear they keep getting worse...

    After nearly seven years working at a call center in the wireless industry you'd think there would be anything left that can surprise me, but you'd be so terribly wrong.

    It has been awhile since I posted, but here's my latest set of stories. As a reminder, I work on a team that handles escalated complaints. Customers are already pissed off by the time they get to me.

    But it's NOT the right amount!

    A golden rule we have at <Red Checkmark> is that we can NOT and do NOT give customers precise, to the penny quotes of what their monthly bill will be. Sure, we can give you a pretty accurate guess but because some of the taxes and fees are percentages based on your city/county/state/etc., it's all but impossible to give a precise number.

    This lady did not understand that.

    Two months ago we'd made some changes to her account and told her the bill would be (pay attention to this phrasing) in the range of $180 / month going forward. Did you catch that? IN THE RANGE OF. Could be $174, could be $178, could be $185. Simple enough.

    The problem is that this lady perceived what we told her was that her bill would be EXACTLY $180 / month...and she's currently pissed because her current total is $183.40.

    We've already helped this lady out a few times in the past year and I did NOT want to give her a $3.40 credit out of principle. However, my manager overruled me and told me to do the credit. Okay, fine, but you better believe I put giant ALL CAPS notes in her account saying customer does NOT have a $180 / month rate guarantee, she has only been told her bills would be around that amount.

    Of course Mrs. SC vowed to complain next month if the bill was not EXACTLY $180. Go right ahead lady, I'll be here waiting. And you're getting nothing next time. NOTHING.

    That's not how any of this works

    This guy claims that one of our customer service reps told him that, because two of his phones got stolen, we would waive all the remaining payments on them so he could get new ones. Now, our customer service folks sometimes leave a little bit to be desired, but there are usually limits to how ridiculous they get. And this is stretching them.

    It's been <Red Checkmark> policy for over a decade that if your phones get stolen, you still gotta pay for them. That's why people carry insurance and protection plans. There's no way customer service told you that. This dude is either trying to get us for free phones (how do I know they actually WERE stolen?) or thinks we're just gullible as hell.

    So I explain to him that no, we're not going to be waiving anything. If you have a car note and your car gets stolen, do you think the lender will just happily waive the balance for you? I think not. Cuss me out if you want to, but this is not happening.

    Strike 1...Strike 2...Strike 3...YER OUTTA THERE!

    One thing I like about this job is if we tell a customer "no we're not giving you xxxx" and they file another formal complaint...that complaint usually comes right back to me.

    Hello again, ma'am, no our decision hasn't changed. No, sending more paperwork my way won't make me more sympathetic to you. No, you won't be getting the $3000 credit you're looking for but thanks for playing. Buh bye now.

    90 cents...90 freaking cents!

    Several months ago, <Red Checkmark> raised one of our surcharges slightly. For this customer that meant his bill went up 90 cents. This so infuriated him that he spent what I have to believe was at least 30 minutes to an hour typing up a THREE page complaint letter. He then put a stamp on that letter and sent it our way.

    The surcharge is MANDATORY. There was a notice on your bill last month that it would be going up. You never look at your bills? Well, hey there's your problem.

    Guy hung up on me in a rage. All that time and energy expended over NINETY CENTS.

    Some people...

    Just get to the damn point

    We get so many long, meandering complaint letters from people that contain so many useless details and background info that is totally irrelevant to the issue it drives me completely nuts.

    All I need to know is:

    1. What's the problem?
    2. What do you want <Red Checkmark> to do about it?

    I don't need to know about your cat or your bitch of an ex wife or your Uncles cancer treatments or the problems your kid is having at school or what color drapes you just installed in the living room. Seriously, it doesn't matter and I DON'T CARE.
    Last edited by CrazedClerkthe2nd; 08-17-2019, 09:23 PM.
    "If we refund your money, give you a free replacement and shoot the manager, then will you be happy?" - sign seen in a restaurant

  • #2
    Quoth CrazedClerkthe2nd View Post
    Just get to the damn point
    Ah, yes, the "Life Story of the Problem" people were always a pain at the IT service desk. Because like the OP, all I cared about was what the issue was, and 9 times out of 10, what they were doing immediately before the problem happened is irrelevant.
    PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

    There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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    • #3
      In a former life I worked for the government agency that did car recalls. A common type of complainer was the "life history of my car" person. Usually this person had retired and bought a new car. For the next decade or so he kept a list of every little thing that went wrong with the car. When he complained to us about the latest car failure he would include every single fault that had ever happened to the car. And expected us to do something about them. That is not how car recalls work.

      I wish this forum was around back then (1978-1982).
      "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

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      • #4
        My callers are like this too. No, the person you called about a banking matter doesn't need or want to know about your hysterectomy/mastectomy/drug rehab/etc. Nor does she have time to be your new BFF. She wants to take care of the issue you called about and move on to the next person waiting to be helped, or maybe even have time for a gulp or two of a beverage.
        "Crazy may always be open for business, but on the full moon, it has buy one get one free specials." - WishfulSpirit

        "Sometimes customers remind me of zombies, but I'm pretty sure that zombies are smarter." - MelindaJoy77

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        • #5
          Oh man I've heard so many medical stories from customers, including accidents, cancer, you name it. I don't need to know your medical history!
          https://www.youtube.com/user/HedgeTV
          Great YouTube channel check it out!

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth CrazedClerkthe2nd View Post
            So I explain to him that no, we're not going to be waiving anything. If you have a car note and your car gets stolen, do you think the lender will just happily waive the balance for you? I think not. Cuss me out if you want to, but this is not happening.
            I hate to say this, but they sorta do.
            Specifically, if you borrow money and use your car for collateral, carrying theft insurance is not optional, and this is specifically why. And since you probably already told your finance company the name of your insurance company, providing the finance company with the police report number is probably all you need to do: they are listed on the title as part owner of the vehicle, so they can get the information from the police and file a claim.

            I'm just saying, having had experience with having a financed car stolen might well make someone MORE likely to misunderstand how that works.
            Whereas those of us who got a personal loan to buy a car specifically to avoid the expense of full-coverage insurance should be expected to fully understand the risks that entails, and the similarity to making a similar deal for a phone.

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth CrazedClerkthe2nd View Post
              One thing I like about this job is if we tell a customer "no we're not giving you xxxx" and they file another formal complaint...that complaint usually comes right back to me.

              Hello again, ma'am, no our decision hasn't changed. No, sending more paperwork my way won't make me more sympathetic to you. No, you won't be getting the $3000 credit you're looking for but thanks for playing. Buh bye now.
              We have a similar system, and I absolutely hate it.
              So you didn't like the answer/customer service you received from the Manager and Assistant Manager, and you want the Customer Service number for Corporate. You know what happens when you call that number? The person who answers the phone (or possibly an automated system) will dutifully transcribe your comment or complaint and then send it via email to the store's Manager for resolution.

              What I really hate about this system is when it gives the appearance that we could be helping, but we can't. A lady called after visiting the store and after separating the wheat from the chaff the story is some scammer convinced her to buy a pre-paid card and she did and they took all the money.
              We were barely involved in this, and there is nothing we can do. The card company might be able to help. The police might be able to help. We can do nothing to help.
              I mean, by design there is no way for us to cancel a card once it has been paid for. That's what keeps us from being able to rob the customers by cancelling their cards.
              And the people who answered the phone should have TOLD her that.

              Instead, it falls to me (Since the Manager was on vacation and the Owner was out of the country) to find a polite way to say "Sucks to be you."
              At least she had already gone to the police, as I doubt I could have convinced her to.

              about 1-in-10 of the complaints we get through Corporate are for things that are utterly beyond our control, but there is no filter at Corporate so they all get transcribed and forwarded to us.

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              • #8
                In my company if you "call corporate" the first thing they do is call us at the store to get our side of the story. Some times they might try and throw a gift card at the problem to see if that makes it go away or they might call us to see if we will change our decision.
                But what they can't do, and all my people know, is tell/order us to do something. Now they can talk to our district manager who can then call us and tell us to do something different than what we have already done but that is a different thing.
                I have no fear of the "call corporate" people, I'll ask them if they need me to give them the number.

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                • #9
                  Quoth telecom_goddess View Post
                  Oh man I've heard so many medical stories from customers, including accidents, cancer, you name it. I don't need to know your medical history!
                  One infamous customer of ours actually took this a step further and, along with telling us in excessive detail about a medical procedure he'd recently gone through, attached GRAPHIC PHOTOS of said procedure to his complaint email , apparently because he thought we wouldn't believe him.

                  Like, what the hell dude? NO ONE WANTS TO SEE THAT.
                  "If we refund your money, give you a free replacement and shoot the manager, then will you be happy?" - sign seen in a restaurant

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    ^ "We're using the money that would've been your refund to offset the cost of brain bleach handling the medical patient data you sent us in a HIPPA-compliant manner."
                    Supporting the idiots charged with protecting your personal information.

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