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  • No Loan for Gambling Debts

    The SC from this thread called wanting to borrow money to cover his gambling debts again. I suppose I should give him points for staying on the wagon for over a year.

    My side of the conversation went something like this:

    I've told you before that we can't lend you money to cover gambling debts.
    No, it doesn't matter what collateral we use for the loan.
    No, I can't make it a personal loan.
    Because you already told me it's to cover gambling debts.
    I'm sorry to hear your credit cards are maxed out, but that only makes it more difficult to get a loan.
    No, I can't pretend I didn't hear you say it was for gambling debts.
    Good luck finding another solution.

    I'm surprised any of the local casinos take checks or debit from him, since we returned A LOT of overdrafts from them last time. I imagine he's got unpaid collections on his credit report from that, too.
    "I look at the stars. It's a clear night and the Milky Way seems so near. That's where I'll be going soon. "We are all star stuff." I suddenly remember Delenn's line from Joe's script. Not a bad prospect. I am not afraid. In the meantime, let me close my eyes and sense the beauty around me. And take that breath under the dark sky full of stars. Breathe in. Breathe out. That's all."
    -Mira Furlan

  • #2
    He should then say he wants to refinance credit card debt. He could then refinance that debt, then pay his gambling debts with the card. But, hey...

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    • #3
      Needs to go get counseling for his habit. They might be able to recommend solutions, also. But definitely needs to kick the habit before he ends up on the street.
      When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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      • #4
        That previous thread was from more than a year ago. Sounds like the SC had a relapse.
        I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

        Who is John Galt?
        -Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

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        • #5
          Yeah. He fell off the wagon hard. Over $1300 in payments to the casino hit his account over the past two days.

          I hope he gets some help before this happens again.
          "I look at the stars. It's a clear night and the Milky Way seems so near. That's where I'll be going soon. "We are all star stuff." I suddenly remember Delenn's line from Joe's script. Not a bad prospect. I am not afraid. In the meantime, let me close my eyes and sense the beauty around me. And take that breath under the dark sky full of stars. Breathe in. Breathe out. That's all."
          -Mira Furlan

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          • #6
            Gambling addicts are no longer trying to "break even". It is the gambling (even when they lose) that they need. I'll say it again, they get hooked when they initially win while gambling, but after they are addicted, winning no longer has that rush they crave. They will do anything to fill that need with no thought to the consequences.

            Telling them that they are facing ruin, will be destitute, homeless ETC has no effect. The only way to stop them is to allow them to reach the bottom, perhaps go to jail, lose their jobs, family and friends and finally have no money to gamble.

            Only after that will they reflect on their lives and try to stop.

            I can best illustrate this by a story. A gambler I knew told me about one magical night in the casino. He said that by midnight he was up to $25,000 (from a start of $500) but the bus (home) didn't come until 8:00 AM and he continued gambling and lost it all back by 7:00 AM.

            I said to him "Oh you idiot!" and he looked surprised.
            I continued, "With $25,000 you could have had the fanciest room in any local hotel, or you could have paid a taxi $500 to take you home."
            He looked even more surprised.

            We were both gambling at the time at the same game. We both started winning. We both increased our bet. We stopped winning after a few rounds and I reduced my bet. He continued betting at the higher bet and within 10 minutes was out of money. I still had a small profit and was continuing to play.

            He asked me for a loan. I said, "When the money is all gone it's time to go home. This is what happened to you before when you were up $25,000."
            He answered, "I only need $1,000 - just to finish off this session. I'll pay you back next week when I get paid."
            I said, "I don't have $1,000"
            He answered, "$500 then."
            I said, "No"
            He said, "Please - just for tonight."
            I said, "No"

            This is what addicted gamblers are like. Money no longer has any value, other than as something to gamble with. This is why casinos use chips instead of real money on their tables. Chips are just pieces of plastic and have no intrinsic value until they are cashed in. So addicted gamblers disassociate from the money value and just gamble.

            Victoria Coren (twice winner of the European Poker Tour Main Event) tells a story in her book "For Richer, For Poorer" about a long time poker player who was driving a taxi. They had a conversation about how he was doing. Victoria asked him about his family and he couldn't remember the names of some of his grandchildren.

            The conversation continued on to poker. He remembered every poker hand he had played against Victoria, and even some hands he was only watching. She commented in the book that he was a typical gambler - nothing outside the casino mattered. It was not worth his memory. Poker hands were remembered and discussed even years later.

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            • #7
              Sounds like pretty much any addict, really. All that matters is the fix, the rush, the glory. Everything else... is what you do between doses to get by or get back to it.

              There's no cure until the addict makes the choice.

              Once upon a time, I identified myself as a risk to addict to ...things. I chose one, deliberately. In fact, I'm using it to write this now.

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              • #8
                I remember a story related here about a guy who kept gambling until he was flat broke, with not so much as a single dollar to pay for a cab ride home, and when another gambler at the table handed him a $20 chip out of the kindness of his heart, he immediately bet it, lost, and was resigned to walk home.

                He lived about TWELVE MILES from the casino.

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                • #9
                  Telling them that they are facing ruin, will be destitute, homeless ETC has no effect. The only way to stop them is to allow them to reach the bottom, perhaps go to jail, lose their jobs, family and friends and finally have no money to gamble.
                  I once had a long conversation about alcoholism with a long-time AA member and sponsor. That’s exactly how she described alcoholics. Many will not seek help until they have reached rock bottom, and will not believe they are in bad shape, as long as they can find someone worse off. She described a horrible night in the hospital with her husband as he was being treated for DTs (which can be fatal). He wasn’t all that bad off, he told her. After all, he wasn’t sleeping it off in a ditch somewhere. He had to practically get to that ditch before he sought help.

                  Fortunately, both have been sober for a couple of decades now.

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                  • #10
                    Quoth gerund View Post
                    He answered, "I only need $1,000 - just to finish off this session. I'll pay you back next week when I get paid."
                    I said, "I don't have $1,000"
                    He answered, "$500 then."
                    I said, "No"
                    He said, "Please - just for tonight."
                    I said, "No"
                    Change 'session' to 'binge' and knock a zero off those figures and you will be recreating some exchanges I had with my crack-using ex-GF.
                    I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

                    Who is John Galt?
                    -Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

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                    • #11
                      Addiction is a psychic injury, it not only disables but damages the faculties of restraint and self-control. Those being critical to success in life, that injury easily becomes a crippling one.

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                      • #12
                        He only stayed on the wagon a month this time. Over $1,100 of payments to the casino came through again last weekend. They all bounced. I'm amazed the casino lets him write checks there any more.
                        "I look at the stars. It's a clear night and the Milky Way seems so near. That's where I'll be going soon. "We are all star stuff." I suddenly remember Delenn's line from Joe's script. Not a bad prospect. I am not afraid. In the meantime, let me close my eyes and sense the beauty around me. And take that breath under the dark sky full of stars. Breathe in. Breathe out. That's all."
                        -Mira Furlan

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                        • #13
                          Quoth Ghel View Post
                          [all the checks] all bounced. I'm amazed the casino lets him write checks there any more.
                          Sooner or later, the casino will stop taking his checks.
                          I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

                          Who is John Galt?
                          -Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

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                          • #14
                            Fat Tony wants da money...

                            Skilled programmers aren't cheap. Cheap programmers aren't skilled.

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                            • #15
                              "What's a murder?"
                              - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

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