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Holiday tunes for us!

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  • #16
    That is a good idea about promoting the CD and DVD of The Customers Suck Chorus. Just imaging the video's of the songs, we came up with. Now if we can get every single one of us to sing the songs, that would be awesome. On the videos we can go to every place where we work, and record the SC's in action.
    Under The Moon Paranormal Research
    San Joaquin Valley Paranormal Research

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    • #17
      Whenever I get stuck working graveyard on Christmas eve I....well I start writing all my reports in rhyming verse. Like the entire thing, every incident, report, tech issue, etc. So I see your christmas carol and raise you one caller incident written in verse:

      (This was an actual call too, I can't make up this kind of stupidity. I wish I was. >< )

      Twas the night before Christmas,
      and all through the house,
      Not a creature was stirring,
      Except that friggan mouse.

      What the hell did it want?
      I thought as I answered the phone,
      It was two in the morning!
      Of course I should have known.

      LOTTERY TICKETS! He squeeled,
      I guess he just couldn't wait.
      Can I get in the early bird?! He asked.
      But he was two hours too late.

      What do you mean?!
      Can't you make an exception?
      No I can't. I said.
      To a chilly reception.

      You can say I called earlier!
      Now why would I do that?
      Because you're my friend!
      Actually, I think you're a prate.

      Oh come on! he wailed.
      In his aggravating speech.
      But despite his ranting,
      Time travel was past my reach.

      By his 100th plea,
      I thought he was done.
      But as I went to hang up,
      He began one-hundred and one.

      It's not midnight yet!
      He made one last try
      It's two in the morning!
      I halplessly cry.

      Not here it isn't!
      Well where the heck are you?
      Peru he informed me.
      Oh this was too good to be true.

      You have to live in BC,
      to purchase a ticket.
      You live in Peru,
      So I guess you can stick it.

      I missed that part, he admitted.
      As I danced in my head.
      Well I guess I can't buy one.
      Nope, go the hell back to bed!

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      • #18
        Funny songs. Too bad I'm not clever enough to think of one of my own, and I can't sing.
        Unseen but seeing
        oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
        There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
        3rd shift needs love, too
        RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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        • #19
          WOW. A Customers Suck CD - to raise money to help with this site - brilliant. I can't sing, but I can throw some videos together. I have visions for such a thing!
          "I'm still walking, so I'm sure that I can dance!" from Saint of Circumstance - Grateful Dead

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          • #20
            I posted these last year, before the hack.

            Jingle Bell Schlock (To the tune of "Jingle Bell Rock")

            Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell schlock
            All the day long, they're playing those songs
            Over and over and over again
            'Til they drill them into your brain.

            Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell schlock
            The same twenty tunes by boring old loons
            Andy Williams and his schmaltzy flair
            Through the Muzak air.

            Carpenters time, Kenny G time
            It sucks my life away
            Almost makes me miss the "smooth jazz"
            That the boss-man used to play!

            Quitting time, thank the Lord, it's time to haul
            Racing to the time clock
            Clash and Ramones and Pink Floyd's The Wall
            Kill the jingle bell,
            Kill the jingle bell,
            Kill the jingle bell schlock!

            Wal-Mart Wonderland (To the tune of "Winter Wonderland")

            SCs scream, are you listenin'?
            In the lane, spilled drink glistenin'.
            A horrible sight, we're in Hell tonight
            Working in a Wal-Mart Wonderland.

            Gone away, is my reason.
            Here to stay, Christmas Season.
            It grates on my brain, and drives me insane
            Working in a Wal-Mart Wonderland.

            In the aisle, we can build an end cap
            And we'll make it nice and straight and sound.
            And when we have finished with the end cap
            The SCs and their kiddies smash it down!

            Later on, in the break room
            We'll complain and plot their doom,
            About the SCs, we'll gripe all we please
            Working in a Wal-Mart Wonderland!
            I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
            My LiveJournal
            A page we can all agree with!

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            • #21
              Those are hysterical Xcashier! Love it!

              I think a customer's suck CD/DVD would be great-best if we could get the live footage of people being toads... and hey, maybe some of us can't sing well as individuals...but that's ok! As a chorus, we'll sound great!
              I will not shove “it” up my backside. I do not know what “it” is, but in my many years on this earth I have figured out that that particular port hole is best reserved for emergency exit only. -GK

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              • #22
                OMFG YOU GUYS ARE ALL *AWESOME*. XD
                ~~ Every politician that opens their mouth on birth control only proves that we need more of it. ~~

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                • #23
                  Silver Bells CS style

                  (*To the tune of Silver Bells)

                  SC’s shopping, Christmas shopping
                  Crowding aisle after aisle
                  In the air there’s the stench of the masses

                  Elbows jabbing, People crabbing
                  Attitudes all most vile
                  And on each PA speaker you hear…

                  Price check pleas, “Checkers please”
                  Its Christmas time here in retail.
                  Want to yell. This is hell.
                  Soon it will be return time

                  Lines of shoppers, grumpy shoppers
                  All think they should be first
                  Hear them claim that the cust’mer's always right

                  Fitting room mess, lots of work stress
                  Have to smile at each curse
                  Scream the words you really want to say

                  “Go away.” “Stay away!”
                  “Leave me alone you stupid cow!”
                  “Can’t you think?” “Ugh, you stink”
                  “You’ve made me hate Christmas Day!”
                  "Ignorance is no excuse for a law."
                  .................................................. ..................- Alfred E. Newman

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                  • #24
                    That's really good (and it scans, too!). Sums up the Holiday Season from the retail workers' point of view.
                    Last edited by Ree; 12-05-2006, 02:11 AM. Reason: Threads merged and moved to new forum
                    I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
                    My LiveJournal
                    A page we can all agree with!

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      And now another chestunt from the I.P. Freleigh Golden Trough of Christmas Hits...my rendition of "That's what Christmas Means to Me" by Stevie Wonder and various and sundry other artists...

                      Oh yeah...
                      Tempers runnin' short
                      'Lifter gets his day in court
                      Checkout lines are slow
                      Everywhere we go
                      PA's singing carols
                      I've heard too many times before

                      All these things and more, baby
                      All these things and more
                      That's what Christmas means to me, oh noes
                      (Christmas means to me, oh noes)
                      Dear God
                      Help me please!

                      I see your frowning face
                      Like I never seen before
                      'Cuz you scream at me so madly
                      I wish you'd find the door
                      The items you throw at me
                      Will drop me to the floor

                      All these things and more, baby
                      All these things and more
                      That's what Christmas means to me, oh noes
                      (Christmas means to me, oh noes)
                      Dear God

                      Please stop your running wild
                      Screaming like a little child
                      Your BO smells like moldy toes
                      Take a bath and wash your clothes
                      I wish you a crappy Christmas, moron
                      (wish you a crappy Christmas, moron)
                      And stay away in the coming year!

                      Let's stock the shelves with chotchkies
                      And piss and moan all night
                      Just one Elmo left to buy
                      Kids, watch your mommies fight
                      Trudge through work and get home
                      Just before daylight


                      All these things and more, baby
                      All these things and more
                      That's what Christmas means to me, oh noes
                      (Christmas means to me, oh noes)

                      Oh noes!
                      Last edited by Irving Patrick Freleigh; 12-06-2006, 01:00 PM.
                      Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                      "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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                      • #26
                        Hey now, I'm a trained musician/singer and i can compose/transpose sheet music and songs. I can get some friends together and we can record a cd for yall, and use the funds to support the website and make t-shirts and stuff, somebody PM me for my phone number so we can talk about it. I'm not even kidding.

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                        • #27
                          I'm working on T-shirts separately, but as you may expect the company and I are both up to our bums in work due to the season. Should ease off after this week and I can get some progress.

                          As to the idea of songs etc to support the site, there's no real need. I run it as a hobby, not as a business, so that reduces my stress. If someone comes up with a bucket of songs etc, I'd be more than happy to host it here Do it for fun, not for money, y'know?

                          Rapscallion

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                          • #28
                            More Christmas songs for the rest of us

                            So work's been getting me down, people are so rude, my co-workers suck, my job sucks.

                            Wrote a song 'bout it. Like to hear it? Here it goes!

                            I'm getting nuttin' for Christmas
                            All my co-workers are mad
                            I'm getting nuttin' for Christmas
                            'Cuz I ain't been nuttin' but bad

                            I took a half an hour break
                            Somebody snitched on me
                            Came back from lunch four hours late
                            Somebody snitched on me
                            Told my sup to go suck eggs
                            Spilled some paint on someone's legs
                            Burned dog shit in our plastic bags
                            And somebody snitched on me

                            I'm getting nuttin' for Christmas
                            I made the customers mad
                            I'm getting nuttin' for Christmas
                            'Cuz I ain't been nuttin' but bad

                            I shoved some lady down the stairs
                            Somebody snitched on me
                            Made an orgy with the teddy bears
                            Someone's a fucking narc!
                            Sold single shoes instead of pairs
                            Cradle of Filth does the PA blare
                            They yell at me but I don't care
                            But somebody snitched on me. Ohhhhh...

                            I'm getting nuttin' for Christmas
                            I made the managers mad
                            I'm getting nuttin' for Christmas
                            'Cuz I ain't been nuttin' but bad

                            I point out all of corporate's flaws
                            Somebody snitched on me
                            They won't promote me just because
                            Somebody snitched on me
                            Next year I will see the light
                            I'll straighten up and I'll fly right
                            Being a wage slave really bites
                            But somebody snitched on me

                            We're getting nuttin' for Christmas
                            District manager is mad
                            We're getting nuttin' for Christmas
                            'Cuz we ain't been nuttin' but bad.
                            Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                            "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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                            • #29
                              Opened this for the season. If you've got goodies, get adding

                              Rapscallion

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                              • #30
                                Oh, that's what happened to the first post in this thread!

                                I guess I'll repost mine here, too.

                                (to the tune of "Hanukkah, Oh Hanukkah")

                                Customers oh customers
                                What can you do about them
                                We can't live with them
                                We can't live without them
                                Tearing up our displays
                                And trashing our store
                                Switching out our price tags
                                And always wanting more
                                The stinkies, the crankies
                                The pervs and Snobby Queens
                                They all come en masse
                                They're a pain in the ass
                                But for money, they are our means
                                SCs, hear our pleas
                                Mind your manners please
                                'Cause we're not just cogs in machines!
                                Last edited by XCashier; 12-08-2010, 12:38 AM.
                                I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
                                My LiveJournal
                                A page we can all agree with!

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