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  • #16
    Quoth Lace Neil Singer
    Law 6. Any children that misbehave in any way, will be taken to the child cage that is situated in the basement...
    ...Also, if your child is annoying anyway, the crime of "existing" will be written on the sticker that will be placed accross your child's gob before it is taken to the child cage....
    Why take it out on the child who obviously was not raised to know better?

    Wouldn't it be more effective to just put the parents in the cage and subject them to parenting lessons and skills assessments, until they can prove they are fit to resume the care and handling of a child?

    Honestly, the anger towards innocent, although misbehaving children these days really irks me.
    Yeah, they're misbehaving, but if they weren't taught any differently, how is it their fault?
    Last edited by Ree; 07-09-2006, 08:32 PM.
    Too tired of living and too tired to end it. What a conundrum.

    Comment


    • #17
      Where your money is set, if I have my hand out for it, and you ignore my hand, is where your change is going. Simple.

      Do NOT ask for my movie recommendations, and then tell me I suck because of them, and insult me by buying a Pauly Shore movie. Pauly Shore could never live up to Jim Carrey in Liar Liar.

      Any time you come into my store, and you ask me for a video game, and I point out we aren't a video game store, and the next words out of your mouth are "Game Stop told me..." I swear, you will get belted across the face. Game Stop did NOT tell you to come down the fifty feet or whatever to the movie store to buy a game that hasn't even hit a release date, No, we've never sold video games, and you're far too old to be making that mistake.
      "I call murder on that!"

      Comment


      • #18
        I have a few from the big ticket items we have.

        1) NO, we do not negotiate prices. It's fantastic that the store down the street will give you $500 off "the exact same piece." The reason you came here and not there is...

        2) If you get mad at me when I point out they charge a thousand more than we do in the first place, I get to take a leg off of the nearest available table and beat you with it.

        3) If you STILL want to haggle on an $800 living room set after we've already addressed points 1 and 2, I get to bend you over the chair and do something infinately more painful with said table leg.

        4) "ALL DAY DELIVERY" MEANS "ALL DAY DELIVERY." Do not bitch and moan the day before we deliver it that it NEEDS to be before noon because you forgot you had a delivery and scheduled a social event to go to.

        5) Yes, we charge for delivery. If you walk and go pay someone else even more money because they offer free delivery, it's not my problem. Did you honestly think with gas prices the way they are that a company is truly offering "free" delivery? No, they make up the cost somewhere. Say, like charging an extra $1000.

        6) If I pitch you the protection plan against stains and damages and you don't want to get it, and you call back a week after getting the furniture wanting us to clean a stain, then don't scream and cuss at me when I tell you there's nothing we can do. You are not entitled to anyhing beyond defects for your warranty, it is not included in anything. When you go to the car dealership and buy a new car, it comes with a warranty. The warranty does NOT cover dings and scratches you happen to contribute.

        7) I am the lowest rung on the ladder. All I can do is forward information up the food chain and have them get back to you. I am a salesman. I do not deal with the delivery people. I do not deal with the warranty people. I have no authority to authorize anything that you feel you are entitled to, such as waiving the delivery fee or redelivery fee because we showed up when you were out at the Starbucks.

        8) If my manager or one of his bosses shuts you down, or god forbid, you take an issue as far as the president of the company and HE says no, why the hell do you think calling ME to scream can do anything about it? Yes sir, I'm really the president of the company in disguise. I sit back and watch everything kindof as a spy. I rarely use my godlike powers to help, but in this case, I'll overturn our complete puppet organization and management just so YOU can be happy.

        9) KEEP YOUR DAMNED KIDS UNDER CONTROL. We have items here worth thousands of dollars and if your child breaks something, you WILL be responsible for paying it.

        10) If I politely ask your child to get off of the glass coffee table, and when he does it again, I ask you to keep your child under control and you yell at me how it isn't my job to raise your kid, I get to take my favorite table leg and beat you in certain areas of your body until you are unable to reproduce.

        11) If I have several groups of people in the store, and I ask you if you have any intention of buying today after we've talked for awhile and found something you liked, contrary to what you believe, you do not have a right to get pissed off if I drop you and DO help the person who is ready to buy. We run a business, and I work on commission. If you're not ready to buy, then I'm going to help the person who is.

        Probably going to add to this.
        Last edited by gbm85; 07-10-2006, 01:51 AM. Reason: Offensive language will not be tolerated
        "Time shall help me face my painful memories with indifference, and with more of it, I won't feel the need to face them at all..."

        Comment


        • #19
          Quoth Ree
          Why take it out on the child who obviously was not raised to know better?

          Wouldn't it be more effective to just put the parents in the cage and subject them to parenting lessons and skills assessments, until they can prove they are fit to resume the care and handling of a child?

          Honestly, the anger towards innocent, although misbehaving children these days really irks me.
          Yeah, they're misbehaving, but if they weren't taught any differently, how is it their fault?
          I just don't like children. And some of them really are devil spawn; however, I agree with forced parenting lessons for the parents who are rubbish parents.
          People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
          My DeviantArt.

          Comment


          • #20
            We've been down this road before.
            Apparently, we need a road map.

            Terms like "crotch dropping," etc. are disgusting. Say child or even brat but refrain from the nastiness.

            You were all children once. It's highly likely that when you were you annoyed someone- perhaps by your mere existance.

            Those of us who are parents would like some for ourselves and our children.
            "I don't want any part of your crazy cult! I'm already a member of the public library and that's good enough for me, thanks!"

            ~TechSmith 314
            HellGate: London

            Comment


            • #21
              Mine is:

              No I won't throw in a free tape or battery or whatever else you want. The more you ask, the higher I get to turn the voltage on the nipple clamps I'll put on you.
              "They have the internet on computers now?"
              ~Homer Simpson

              Another day at work, another broken desk

              Comment


              • #22
                Quoth Ree
                Just a reminder and to clarify, for anyone who may visit this board, that the fantasy of "hitting the customer", the use of the "sack of quarters", the "baseball bat", the "metal box full of change", the "till lock" or "divider", or any other projectiles or heavy blunt objects is purely hypothetical and not a reflection on the board's policy, as we do not condone violence to our customers.

                aaah man.........
                WELCOME

                Be Nice or I'll Make the Sun Go Away.

                Comment


                • #23
                  Quoth Ree
                  Honestly, the anger towards innocent, although misbehaving children these days really irks me.
                  Yeah, they're misbehaving, but if they weren't taught any differently, how is it their fault?
                  That's because you can't beat them anymore. When I was little and made someone angry because I was being an ass my parents either spanked me or someone tried to beat me up. (Happened on the playground at school plenty of times.) Call it cruel if you want. But it generaly got the message across that you just don't do some stuff. I found it handy to have a roll of nickels (poor mans brass knuckles) on you at all times. Keeping a child in a padded room just hurts them. They need to learn that the real world is not a nice place and how to survive.

                  /
                  "Magic sometimes sounds like tape." - The Amazing Johnathan

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Quoth batmoody
                    aaah man.........
                    Heehee!!
                    Sorry to ruin your fun.

                    And, Crosshair, let's not turn this thread offtopic, OK?

                    My comments were simply reminders to play nice in regard to everyone, customers and children included.

                    As Nightangel said,
                    Last edited by Ree; 07-10-2006, 02:54 AM.
                    Too tired of living and too tired to end it. What a conundrum.

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      My laws in no apparent order:

                      1. (As explained in my signature) The backroom is NOT a 'store within a store.' Unless its an advertised item, and you see an empty space, grasp the fact WE ARE OUT and leave! I won't waste my time when I have 1000s of things to do to pull a pen out of our stockroom just for you, especially when similar items are around.

                      2. You lose the right to complain to a manager once you become rude to staff members. Additionally, managers will only listen to complaints deemed 'valid' by staff members.

                      3. We don't have a 'return rack' at the fitting room since you must put everything back where you found it. Customers who don't put things back where they found it (and this goes for the whole store, not just at the fitting room) will become locked by chains to their shopping cart (which will subsequently have locked wheels, keeping them captive in the store) until they agree to go back and put back the unwanted items.

                      4. We will NOT sell a display item (especially baby furniture) unless you sign a release form that doesn't make us liable if the poorly-constructed display breaks and hurts your child. The form, in big letters, explains: 'As a cheapskate, I refuse to supply my family with a safe baby item/home furniture, so I choose to purchase this display item that is most likely already falling apart. I am fully responsible, NOT the store, if any bodily injuries occur from the use of this item.'

                      5. Any person who brings in a watch that we don't sell, and gets mad when we tell them we can't change the battery due to store policy, gets a verbal warning from the employee. If the argument continues, the employee is allowed to take the watch (regardless of how expensive it is), and smash it with the heaviest hammer in our equipment drawer at the jewelry counter.

                      6. Any customer who leaves their shopping cart at the middle of the parking lot (and leaves without returning it to the cart corral) will wake up the next morning at their home and find 10 shopping carts slammed into their precious car, with a bill from a mechanic of our choice explaining the cost of repair they MUST pay.

                      "In cases of customer bathroom emergencies, the toilet itself becomes less of a goal and more of a loose suggestion." - Shamus

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        * Do not almost run me over with the electric cart and then yell at me. In this situation, I will be allowed to snap back at you and revoke your right to ride on these. I already have to deal with crazy drivers outside, I don't need to deal with anymore INSIDE.

                        * If I am actually hit with an electric cart, then I am fully entitled to play bumper carts with you. Except...I'll have the cart and you won't.

                        * Don't ask me a question and then ask someone else the same question after you got the answer from me. I will throw rotten fruit (preferably tomatoes) at you. And I won't miss.

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Quoth Comp_geek
                          Mine is:

                          No I won't throw in a free tape or battery or whatever else you want. The more you ask, the higher I get to turn the voltage on the nipple clamps I'll put on you.
                          That's awesome in at least six different ways. Moving on.


                          1.) When I say "I can't do that or else I will get fired," I really mean it. My ass will be out the door. When I share this information with you, if you ask again and try to justify it by saying that you "come in here all the time," I get to say "so do I, and I'd like to keep it that way." If you take offense at my sarcasm, violence will ensue.

                          2.) It's five o'clock. I'm leaving now. One of the two other people here will be happy to ring up your movies. Yes, they're both busy. It appears that you will have to wait. I won't, though. Thanks for choosing Hollywood, I'll be thinking of you and how much I'd like to kick you in the pancreas on my drive home. If you make a face, grunt, sigh, or express any thought or concern that is not "you are well within your right to go home, as your scheduled shift has ended, have a pleasant afternoon," violence will ensue.

                          3.) If I'm coming on in the middle of the day, I'm going to count my drawer before I sell you something. I'm going to count it so hard that you will just not believe it. No amount of sighing, grunting, foot tapping, swearing, cursing, laughing, requests to see the manager on duty (that'd be me), or queries to your spouse regarding whether or not he or she can believe this will convince me to skip counting my drawer. If you act like a petulant child, I'm going to treat you like a petulant child, except when it suits me to treat you like an adult, like if violence is about to ensue.

                          4.) When I ask you if you would like to pay your late fees now, if your response is "Well, I wouldn't like to," or any iterration thereof, I get to glare at you with lots of anger. Except replace "glare at" with "ignite" and "anger" with "lighter fluid." When I'm done turning you into a desiccated crisp, violence will ensue.

                          5.) When the power flickers, we don't sell anything for forty minutes. It's not my choice, it's not a judgement call, it's a hard and fast requirement. Forty minutes is the amount of time it takes to fix the damage to the transaction files that occurs when the server loses power. Yes, even for just a second. No, I'm not lying. Hell, I'll put tech support on speakerphone and you can listen in. Why in pluperfect hell would I pretend not to be able to sell movies for two thirds of an hour? I guess I can understand your suspicion...after all, there's so many other things I'll get to do in the next forty minutes, like stand there, and then move two feet over and stand in a totally new place. Verily, the next forty minutes will be a time of unbridled glee. Idiot. If you fail to understand this concept, violence will ensue.

                          And most importantly...

                          6.) I am the manager on duty. Yes, really. Seriously. I even have the words "shift director" under my nametag. Yes, I know I can't be older than twenty. I'm nineteen, to be precise. I'm just as capable as the MOD on the next shift will be. If you fail to grasp the concept that I am both a teenager and a figure of authority in my store, violence will ensue.
                          Last edited by bars.of.a.rhyme; 07-10-2006, 07:27 AM.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            1. If you throw a $20 bill at me and ask for "some fives", I will assume that you want nickels, and I will throw them at you, one at a time.
                            2. If you buy a pack of gum, or a similar cheap item, with a large bill because you just want change, I will give you your change in pennies and you will have to pick them up off the floor.
                            3. If you utter the phrase, "but it's cheaper at (insert store name here)", you will be instantly transported to (insert store name here), and will be forced to buy every single one of that item, since it is apparently such a good deal.
                            4. If you leave garbage in our store, an employee will follow you home and empty all of the store's garbage cans on your front lawn.
                            5. If you throw money on the counter without saying what it's for, the employee shall assume that she is being given a tip, and she will be allowed to keep it.

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Quoth NightAngel
                              Those of us who are parents would like some for ourselves and our children.
                              It's impossible to do this when not all parents are as good as you are.

                              The ones I hate are the ones that impress into their children that they have a false sense of entitlement. I'm sorry if the term offends you, but I don't see the parents OR the kids as anything else.
                              "Time shall help me face my painful memories with indifference, and with more of it, I won't feel the need to face them at all..."

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Quoth Kusanagi
                                I'm sorry if the term offends you, but I don't see the parents OR the kids as anything else.
                                Then that would be your right to your own feelings, but we just ask that you keep it off this board, thanks.
                                Too tired of living and too tired to end it. What a conundrum.

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